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Please tell me it gets easier, re: sleep training

Jenny952Jenny952 member
in Attachment Parenting

Hello ladies, my DD is 21 months.  Since she's been born I have nursed her to sleep and put her in her crib.  Lately I've been trying to get her to sleep in her crib without the nursing.  I read NCSS, which I found to be helpful but also somewhat tedious (who has time to keep a sleep log??!!).  I do not want to CIO but I liked the idea of putting her down awake and gradually offering less support for her to fall asleep. 

Last Sunday night I nursed and rocked and put her down awake.  I'm not sure why I chose last week, but she'd been sleeping well, not teething, I wasn't overly tired and thought, why not?  She cried for 20 minutes while I sat in the rocking chair next to her, rubbed her back, and then she finally laid down and was sleeping in 30 minutes.  The next 2 nights actually went pretty good, and they both took about 30 minutes, no crying but just her talking and trying to get comfortable.  The last couple nights have not gone well.  It's taken over an hour and Friday night she cried and cried in her crib.  I talked to her and rubbed her back, and then finally she fell asleep.  We went through the exact same routine each night... bath, jammies, story, snack, nurse and bed. 

 

I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should give up and try again at a later time.  Part of me started this because she'd had a hard time falling asleep at daycare, and now she's sleeping within 5-10 minutes, which is great!  I also want to be able to leave DH or a sitter with her at bedtime, but before now it has been a long and painful process to get her to sleep without me. 

 

I guess I'm just looking for other moms who have BTDT and can encourage me to keep going and that it will get easier.

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Re: Please tell me it gets easier, re: sleep training

  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    Bedtime is so hard for toddlers. I'm sorry you and DD are having a rough time!

    DS is also 21 months. We bedshare and I still nurse him to sleep. DH can't get him to sleep unless I'm not there, and then they rock/snuggle, or DH goes for a walk with DS in the carrier. It is very, very rare that I'm not there at bedtime, though. It's happened maybe twice.

    All that is to say that I have no experience with sleep training. We just let DS get to sleep in the manner that's easiest and most comfortable for him. I don't mind nursing him to sleep, though. It doesn't bother me at all.

    But if it's something you want to change, then you should change it. Is it important to you that she can go to sleep on her own, or do you have a time in mind by which you would like her to be falling asleep independently?

    It does sound like your DD might not be ready to go to sleep on her own. When she cries, is she just laying there sad and tired, or is she reaching for/ asking for you? I would wonder why she is crying...whether it's because she wants to nurse or be held or doesn't like her crib, etc.

    One thing you might want to consider would be making a floor bed for her, so that you could snuggle and lay with her as she falls asleep. Even if you work to make nursing something that she does before falling asleep, and then you're rubbing her back and singing and snuggling, having you so close might make her feel better.

    Sorry for the novel of a post. ;) Good luck!
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  • Pookers7Pookers7
    I second the idea of a floor bed. I struggled and struggled with my older DD until one night I was so tired I pulled her crib mattress out of the crib and nursed her on it. She fell asleep and I crept away. Every night a bit less nursing until she'd fall asleep pretty quickly. I ended up selling her crib and buying her a "cool" twin sized bed. 
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  • cyprissacyprissa member
    edited August 2013
    I basically did this at about 14 months but used the "Pantley pull off" to break the nursing to sleep association. It's in the NCSS and I found that with that book you just have to take the ideas that you think will work for you and leave the rest. Once he had given up nursing to sleep we used the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" to get him to sleep on his own. I think a gradual approach to sleep training can sometimes be easier. You will figure out what works for your DD and your family.
    Pookers7 said:
    I second the idea of a floor bed. I struggled and struggled with my older DD until one night I was so tired I pulled her crib mattress out of the crib and nursed her on it. She fell asleep and I crept away. Every night a bit less nursing until she'd fall asleep pretty quickly. I ended up selling her crib and buying her a "cool" twin sized bed. 

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  • MeganequineMeganequine member

    My LO is a little younger, but I'll still offer my suggestion as we don't do CIO at our house either.

    Could you slowly shorten the nursing session or replace with a sippy cup of water?  Also, it sounds like you are cutting out the nursing and trying to get her to fall asleep in her crib all at the same time.  That's a lot of change all at once.  I'd cut out nursing first and rock/cuddle or whatever and let her fall asleep in your arms.  Once she'd good with that then work on putting her down awake. 

    However, we still rock our little man to sleep.  I kept saying I was going to work on getting him to sleep on his own this summer and I never got around to it.  He's only little once, so it doesn't bother me most of the time. 

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  • SarahinMDSarahinMD member
    We had a pretty set bedtime routine for DD starting at a couple months, then eventually dropped the last BF session...she never nursed to sleep for naps (we used the baby whisperer easy method, so she usually nursed first thing upon waking) so for us it wasn't hard. W have never done CIO, but had a lot,of success with pick up, put down. We always go in, but would just pick her up till she settled. Now that she's in a toddler bed, we'll go in, resettle blankets, kiss her, then leave. Usually bedtime is hardest when she's overtired, so we find it best not to engage her too much. Sometimes I'll lay next to her for naps, but never bedtime (on really bad nights, which are very infrequent, we,will either rock or lay next to her, to help her stay still since when overtired shell just keep moving). That happens once maybe every two months. As for others putting her to bed, it really usually isn't an issue. Kids know when someone different is there and will adapt. I was really worried about taut at first, but it never ended up being an issue. She settled faster for her baby sitter for a long time than she ever did for us.
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