Intro

QOTR · August 2013

Hi All. I normally post on the TTC after 35 board, but it's time to intro here. My husband and I have made the decision to proceed with DE. I'll be reaching out to our RE's office tomorrow to get the process started. In the meantime, I would welcome any recommended reading or sites that you've found helpful. I've lurked here a bit and have read all the information that the RE's office provided, but I'm sure I have a lot to learn still. Thanks in advance!

Lacyj67 · August 2013

Welcome to the board. I'm just about to do my first FET with DE. If you have any questions just ask here everyone is so informative and it's where I have learned alot!!!

happywifemomofone · August 2013

Welcome to the group!! Hope that DE is your ticket to success!!

We met with a psychologist at REs when we first decided to do DE. This was very informative and I highly recommend it as a place to ask questions and think about things that you never even knew to ask about. For example, we learned that it's best to tell your kids early and often their story of how they were created using DE (we didn't know this and were planning to keep it as our secret). But, we learned that the best response your child can have to the question "When did you learn that you were conceived using donor eggs?" is "I've always known."

Have you decided if you will you a donor from your clinic, a frozen egg bank or a shared cycle? There are a myriad of options out there at many different costs.

MrsT4 · August 2013

happywifemomofone said:

Have you decided if you will you a donor from your clinic, a frozen egg bank or a shared cycle? There are a myriad of options out there at many different costs.

I agree with happywife's advice...there are so many options to consider, so it pays to do your research. I don't mean to be a Debbie downer, but there are several of us that haven't yet been successful with DE's and sometimes it takes more than one try, so that is something to keep in mind as well.
Also, I wanted to post an interesting article that you may not have seen before (hope the link works):

https://tpvedo.blogspot.co.uk/2009/07/women-who-give-birth-to-donor-egg.html

Welcome and good luck!!

liz4paws · August 2013

Welcome to the board!

QOTR · August 2013

Thanks for the welcomes and the article.
@happywife - Our RE's office has an in house donor program. I think that will be our route, but I expect to learn more once we meet with the program coordinator. Their literature indicates that a psychological consultation is required and I welcome that.   I'm sure there are aspects of this decision that I haven't even considered yet in my overall excitement to proceed.

Hubby and I are in agreement about sharing information with the child from the beginning. I'm not sure how much to share with others yet though.   I want to honor the child's privacy but also don't want to indicate there is any shame or need to keep things secret.   For now, we'll probably keep it private and decide as we go along.   I welcome thoughts on that topic as well.

ArgyleBride · August 2013

...If I may take a moment to science. I wouldn't take that article as the word of God. Mostly because Albert was not an orphan at all, Watson was in fact boinking Alfred's mother. Not saying the whole article is wrong, just not 100% reliable.

The debate between nature and nurture is ongoing, but you won't find many modern developmentalists who are willing to attribute almost any phenotype to "all" nature or "all" nurture. Watson's claim that he could train anyone into any kind of specialty has been widely discredited, for example. The broad strokes I generally agree with--it is well-established that the mother does indeed influence genetic expression, for example, and epigenetics is definitely a real thing. Obviously the flesh-and-blood thing is true, the baby isn't going to create mass!

ArgyleBride · August 2013

Okay I just checked and there's no substantial evidence on the dalliance, but she definitely was alive and well.

BeckyP005 · August 2013

Welcome familiar face

GL to you. These ladies are a wealth of knowledge.

QOTR · August 2013

Hi Becky! <wave,wave>

brooklynesque · August 2013

Hi QOTR! I remember you from the TTC After 35 board! Welcome; sorry you have to be here, but I think if you're like many DE ladies the excitement of actually moving on to something that's likely to get you a baby after multiple failures will start to make up for the sadness over the loss of the genetic connection. At least it's turned out that way for me. I still get a little sad sometimes -- but once I resolved to move on I've felt a lot better. And I found a donor (actually 2 -- see siggy) I'm excited about.

This board is great. I also highly recommend PVED (Parents Via Egg Donation). It's a private board/you have to register to get access but it's all DE and donor embie folks and there's a deep knowledge base there.

poohniki · August 2013

Welcome to the board and good luck!

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