What to do when your husband is being a douche

maganamama · August 2013

I have never been sicker then now .... Somedays it's all I can do to get out of bed and take care of our son..... My husband has been helping some around the house but tells me I need to "suck it up"!!!

He is a financial advisor and works in a bank with full time working mothers who are constantly telling him how lucky I am to get to be home and how they would kill to stay home and "play" all day.

It drives me nuts !!!! And all I want for him to do is help me get through the next few weeks/months .... This isn't a permenant thing and despite what his coworkers think I bust my butt most days keeping our house/family / life together

How do I get him to see how hard my job is and how this is temporary and he needs to chip in and help

I'm all out of ideas

maganamama · August 2013

Agreed

BabiesFTW · August 2013

What a jerk. I work part time and my days at home are just as exhausting as my days at work. Maybe he needs to take care of your son on his own for a day or so and see how he feels? Oh, but have him do it hung over.

legallyginger · August 2013

Wait until he gets the stomach flu, then tell him you're going away for the weekend and he needs to take care of your son. Oh and that the house should be clean when you get back.

maganamama · August 2013

Glad I am not alone ladies .... Thanks for the pick me up !!!!

rachbaby1 · August 2013

There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women - especially his co-workers making comments like that! I think it is wonderful that you get to be home with your children, and I am sure they would love it too!

Did you have a difficult pregnancy the first time around? Is he not thrilled to have your son and be expanding your family? It seems like he should be excited and respect what you are going through to the point that you don't even need to ask for his help. Maybe remind him of that? Although I'm sure an argument is not what you need right now, either. I hope you feel better soon!

mamamia866 · August 2013

I would go back to work and make him see the difference for himself. Hubby hates it when I go to work now.

ajdmama · August 2013

Ha! I just posted about my hubby being a douche lord today. I'm a SAHM too, took H 10 months of me staring him down after he'd say "I wish I could stay home and have fun with you two all day," for him to cut the crap. Like wtf do (some) ppl assume SAHMs do all day? I'm glad I get to be with my baby all day but please- my H wouldn't survive a week doing my job, honestly he barely survives an afternoon. =;

lwebley · August 2013

I like the comment about having him watch your DS for a day when he's super hung over

lol. Get him really drunk on a Fri, watch the kido all day Sat, and remind him to cook dinner and clean the house while he's at it

CharlestonVal · August 2013

Ugh. Girl I hear ya. I think even the most well-meaning men just don't get it sometimes. When I first started getting morning sickness, my hubby told me I was "probably just being a hypochondriac from reading too many pregnancy symptom forum posts."

Facepalm. REALLY?! Of course he later recanted. He's a good guy though. Just says stupid stuff sometimes.

lwebley · August 2013

My husband told me he was sick of me not feeling well the other day. I responded with, "Well, I'm sick of not feeling well. Want to trade?" He felt pretty bad. Sometimes I think they speak... then think

KariB509 · August 2013

I'd tell him exactly what you're telling us.

Hrose7091 · August 2013

A few weeks ago my husband told me I just needed to get over it and start helping. Basically, we got into it, I told him he didn't understand how hard this is for me and I sent him some links about morning sickness and fatigue in the first trimester. We weren't married or living together during this time with dd so he never had to experience the extreme exhaustion..he's been nicer about it now and I do what I can when I can to help around the house.

ju0725 · August 2013

I think I would visit his coworkers and throat chops those B*tches!

bundleofJoy14 · August 2013

bandteacher said:

I think a throat chop would do the trick.

I might love you right now LOL!

corbsmom · August 2013

dickpunch.

25meshia · August 2013

Being a stay at home mother is just as much work as going into work everyday! It's all a full-time job! He is being an asshole! Maybe you should stop doing things period so that he can see how much you take on daily! His coworkers are being Bitches making comments like that and it sounds like they are just jealous that they have to work!
Once I get in from work I don't have to do much. Even though my fiancé has been getting on my nerves he helps soooooooo much around the house!

25meshia · August 2013

ju0725 said:
I think I would visit his coworkers and throat chops those B*tches!

Lol I love this

vadarling · August 2013

mamamia866 said:

I would go back to work and make him see the difference for himself. Hubby hates it when I go to work now.

Mine does too!

DRFleener · August 2013

My guy said I just need get used to the nausea...there's no getting used to not knowing what you are going to,gag at and where...

sheesha · August 2013

I feel like husbands think they know how hard it is to stay at home but don't really understand until they watch the kid(s) for a couple days straight. My husband used to make comments then when he just had a few hours on his own he was like how the f$ck do you do this all day?!! Because at least while they are working they have a lunch break or a coffee brake or can take a two minute walk or , gosh I don't know maybe POOP on their own for five seconds!!! We don't get any relief for those 8-12 hours and then we they get home it's usually not some huge relief - just saying !

Mellie212 · August 2013

The responses to this thread made my entire night. Genius.

Mellie212 · August 2013

Mine said, in all honesty trying to be helpful, that maybe I'd feel better if I tried to have more of a sense of humor about it. Given how men (including mine) are when they are sick, I thought that was rich. Two minutes later he was pulling over so I could be sick on the side of the road and holding my hair back and then he realized that was maybe a bit insensitive. My advice? Puke on him.

FroeschleN · August 2013

Just don't do anything in the house so when he comes home he sees what you didn't do, then he'll know your not just "playing" all day everyday. You actually do housework, something I bet he wouldn't want to do himself.

babyyboo123 · August 2013

Im 9weeks pregnant and was really hard. Im emotional and scared, feels like i got to do everything by myself. but today was a great day and hopefully he get off his ass and take care of me... i love him to death but some times he drives me up the walls.

8-|

springbaby03 · August 2013

FroeschleN said:
Just don't do anything in the house so when he comes home he sees what you didn't do, then he'll know your not just "playing" all day everyday. You actually do housework, something I bet he wouldn't want to do himself.

^^^^
This

)
I know exactly whatcha mean!
I love staying at home but just because I love what I do doesnt mean its all lollipops and gum drops. [-( Dh panicks when he gets a poopy diaper.

)

Assilemmm09 · August 2013

I say tell him to switch places for a week , we all know he will be crying by day 2

SewMaddy · August 2013

Working a 40 hour a week is hell a lot easier than being a SAHM. Biches be jealous.

clo1982 · August 2013

I work PT...I was FT before DD1 then reduced to 3 days per week. I am also in banking and let me tell you, my days in the office are my 'downtime.' My DH said one thing to me one time about 'relaxing' at home...this was when I was on maternity leave. So that weekend I got up and left around 8am and just did stuff for myself ALL. DAY. LONG. I got home around 9pm and he was in full panic mode. He has never said anything like that ever again and now fully agrees that cushy bank jobs (he is also a banker) are significantly less 'work' than being at home. I agree with others...wait until he has the flu then let him experience taking care of a little one while feeling awful on his own...and cleaning the house...and getting dinner ready...and trying to hold it together!!

I get so annoyed when I hear other women talk about how they'd love to 'relax' at home all day. There are challenges to staying at home just like there are with working. I want to kick your husband for lacking compassion!!

ellajune2012 · August 2013

I'm not a mom yet so I don't actually know what goes on as a SAHM (though I can imagine it's not all cartwheels and happiness) But I thought this visual might help:

maygun · August 2013

I honestly don't know how women manage to work full time while pregnant and I give massive props to the ladies who can do that. I can barely manage my measly 20 hours- and I don't even have another LO to take care of! SAHMs deserve a lot more respect than they seem to get. I agree with the suggestions to have him watch the kid, keep the house clean, and cook dinner while he is sick.

kstar83 · August 2013

I felt like crap yesterday, after over doing it all weekend with his family. He managed to cleanup and pick up take out and go grocery shopping. However, by the end of it he was so pissy i couldn't even touch him with him giving me dirty looks.

See honey, when you sit on your ass and have a drink cause your day has been so stressful, and I do all this for you, after I have been working in my home office and taking care of the dogs all day, and STILL manage to give you some at the end of the night with a smile on my face.... maybe you should be a little more grateful

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