Loss Ladies

kimmyberly26 · August 2013

Big O is approaching and I'm getting anxious. We want to have another child but how do I relax into doing the BD? DH works nights so we have to do the deed before I go to work so no wine for me. The thought of another miscarriage has me anxious about trying again. TIA!

pettycrocker · August 2013

Kimmy I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have not had a loss, but we have been trying for #2 for about 100 years so I can relate a bit to the anxiety you're feeling, I just want to get KU already.

If it's possible, just try not to think about another loss. Stay positive and think the best is coming. That's what I try to do every month, just think.. *this is gonna be our month* and it helps me relax a bit.

Wishing you all the luck in the world, and I hope you are able to find some peace. *big hugs*

kimmyberly26 · August 2013

Thanks Castillo. That means a lot. I hope you get your BFP soon.

pettycrocker · August 2013

You too Kimmy!

sarahbeth27 · August 2013

Hi Kimmy--

I don't know that there is a good answer to your question. I think the best thing to do is think about why you want another baby, and think about that when it gets hard. We are into our 14th month of TTC now. 7 months post loss. TTTC can certainly drain all the fun out of baby making. TTTCAL is a whole new world of suck.

Thinking about you and praying you get your rainbow baby very soon.

:x

kimmyberly26 · August 2013

@sarahbeth27 - Thanks girl. I'm so sorry to see your current struggles. TTC can be sooooo draining. Sometimes, I just think about throwing out all the OPKs, thermometer, etc, and just going with the flow.

I have been thinking about you alot lately and wondering how you were doing. I hope you also get your rainbow baby soon.

damabo80 · August 2013

Hugs!
Yes, losses suck and each time we get pg there is the chance for one. What made me keep going after IF+multiple loss was that, for me, the pain of never having a child was greater than all the losses and IF treatments combined.

So, think 20 years down the road. Will your heart hurt more by having another loss or by never trying for a second living child again?

Getting pg is like throwing pasta at the wall. I just kept going until something stuck.

And thankfully, being a woman, you don't need to enjoy sex to conceive. Just lie there and take the deposit of sperm if you find it hard to "get into the moment". No shame in that.

queeniecrayon · August 2013

I had the same thought as damabo. The idea of another miscarriage scared the shit out of me, but the thought of only having one child was even scarier (not that I don't love my little miss more than anything!)!!!

When it came down to relaxing, I just opted for the positions I knew I enjoy the most....that way I got something out of all the stress

And I personally had switched doctors after the second miscarriage, and knowing the new one was so supportive helped to.

Best of luck!!! Sending rainbow baby dust

kimmyberly26 · August 2013

damabo80 said:

Hugs! Yes, losses suck and each time we get pg there is the chance for one. What made me keep going after IF+multiple loss was that, for me, the pain of never having a child was greater than all the losses and IF treatments combined. So, think 20 years down the road. Will your heart hurt more by having another loss or by never trying for a second living child again? Getting pg is like throwing pasta at the wall. I just kept going until something stuck. And thankfully, being a woman, you don't need to enjoy sex to conceive. Just lie there and take the deposit of sperm if you find it hard to "get into the moment". No shame in that.

What great analogies and positive outlook.

It definately gave me a chuckle. I'm currently DPO5 so we'll see in a few days if the deposit was good or it bounces.

sarahbeth27 · August 2013

kimmyberly26 said:
What great analogies and positive outlook. It definately gave me a chuckle. I'm currently DPO5 so we'll see in a few days if the deposit was good or it bounces.

Good luck @kimmyberly26! My fingers are crossed so hard for you!!!

kimmyberly26 · August 2013

sarahbeth27 said:

kimmyberly26 said:

What great analogies and positive outlook. It definately gave me a chuckle. I'm currently DPO5 so we'll see in a few days if the deposit was good or it bounces.

Good luck @kimmyberly26! My fingers are crossed so hard for you!!!

You too@sarahbeth27!

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