Telling your employer that your pregnant

steffacchini · August 2013

Have any of you ladies told your employers your pregnant yet? How did you do it? I have to tell my president this time. With my first we had a manager to report to but there have been so many changes. I'm dreading it. He's already misrable!

KTdid81 · August 2013

I am afraid to tell my boss I'm pregnant because I think he'll fire me. I am pretty much holding off as long as possible and am trying to come up with solutions for when I am gone.

kseccomb17 · August 2013

I told my employer because mw asked that I take time off to relieve stress for baby after I began bleeding. My boss said "I guess that's the downfall of hiring younger women- they get pregnant." I was kind of shocked...

KTdid81 · August 2013

kseccomb17 said:

I told my employer because mw asked that I take time off to relieve stress for baby after I began bleeding. My boss said "I guess that's the downfall of hiring younger women- they get pregnant." I was kind of shocked...

Sounds like something my boss would say.

PerkyErky · August 2013

My manager knows because I have a lot more appts with this pregnancy. I also work in a female dominated field so pregnancy is fairly common and no one is put out by it or an employee being out on maternity leave. But as long as your job isn't potentially harmful to you and baby, you don't have to tell your employer any time soon.

Hope it goes well for you.

theluckiest9 · August 2013

I told my boss on Friday. I just said "can i talk to you for a minute? just wanted to let you know I'm pregnant." She was great. Asked when I was due, said she would start planning for coverage.

A couple of my coworkers are expecting (one through adoption at the end of this year and another is due a few weeks after me, but told right after she found out). She said "oh showers are so fun. We'll have to start planning for you guys." It went fine and I'm glad it's over lol.

novelblessings · August 2013

I'm going to just wait it out as long as I can. No real reason, I just don't see or talk to either supervisor that often. I don't foresee it being an issue at all since my field is female dominant and there have been several pregnancies in the past year since I've been here.

PerkyErky · August 2013

KTdid81 said:
I am afraid to tell my boss I'm pregnant because I think he'll fire me. I am pretty much holding off as long as possible and am trying to come up with solutions for when I am gone.

This is illegal. I know it happens, but it is illegal and if you can prove it they would open themselves up to all sorts of lawsuits and grievances.

Deannaphoto · August 2013

I think I'll tell my boss next week. I haven't til my parents yet (doing so on Thursday) so I think next week will be good. I don't plan to tell coworkers until I have to. They are gossip queens.

angelsnight · August 2013

I told mine just a week after I got my BFP. I already had a meeting with him so after we got done discussing business stuff I told him I had news, and just told him. He was a little surprised (maybe a little judgey too), though I think it was mostly just surprised and maybe ignorant, not knowing it was ok to get pregnant just 3 months after my loss.

Though he was very happy for MH and I last time, so more than likely I just caught him off guard. I'm glad I told him when I did because the very next week I was gushing blood as soon as I got to work, so I called him from the parking lot. It was an awkward phone call, but would have been more awkward if he didn't know I was pregnant.

Melbelle11 · August 2013

Can you maybe talk to HR first?

Dawlschic8 · August 2013

I'm telling my boss tomorrow. I don't want to chance her finding out through other people or her noticing my bump and wondering why I didn't tell her. With being so sick I think it's smart to me honest with your boss. They can't support you if they don't know what's going on. I was afraid she might think I am lazy and pretending to be sick. Hoping tomorrow goes well. Lol

mamamia866 · August 2013

I wanted to wait until I was at least showing, but I had no choice the other night when my supervisor assigned me to a wing that had a lot of very combative patients. Safety first!

pattipants · August 2013

I told my boss a week and a half ago, because he's leaving for travel tomorrow (for 2 weeks). He JUST started working here 4 weeks ago, so I was really nervous about how he'd react, especially because we have a very small office and no one else does my job. His reaction?

"Wow........ That's pretty damn cool!!!!!" He then told me to go home for the rest of the day -- his "gift" to me to celebrate my pregnancy. So I went home and napped for 2.5 hours. It was awesome

Gramsey831 · August 2013

I told my boss a couple of weeks ago because of having to have lots of appointments so far. He was super excited for me and gave me a huge hug. I was worried about it but he made it way easy! I only started working for this company in April, so that's why I was nervous. I'm glad people at work know because it's not easy for me to keep this a secret. Especially when I am always so tired and sick!

lkharkins · August 2013

I work for a VP and I am dreading telling him. I don't have a lot of interface with him because he's really busy and we are both really private people, so it will be incredibly akward. I was even considering just not telling him and letting him just put two and two together once my belly starts to get huge lol.

htn1763 · August 2013

JodieLyn10 said:

PerkyErky said:

I am afraid to tell my boss I'm pregnant because I think he'll fire me. I am pretty much holding off as long as possible and am trying to come up with solutions for when I am gone.

This is illegal. I know it happens, but it is illegal and if you can prove it they would open themselves up to all sorts of lawsuits and grievances.

Actually, it's not necessarily illegal depending on the size of the business. FMLA only applies to companies that employ 50+. And anti-discrimination laws that protect against firing for pregnancy only apply to companies that employ something like 15+.

My old job had 4 total employees. My boss could have (and I'm sure wanted to) fire me, but her tactic was to just make my life so miserable during my pregnancy that I eventually quit.

ETA: I could, however, have sued her for sexual harrassment. Among many of her lawsuit worthy-gems: when I told her I was pregnant, she said she assumed so b/c my boobs were bigger; she told me to hide my bump on many occasions before heading into client meetings; she told me the thought of me breastfeeding was disgusting and installed white noise in the office so she would never have to hear my breastpump; and - her crowning achievement - she told me if my water broke at work I'd have to clean it up myself.

I don't particularly agree with this. I think being fired for being pregnant would be considered discrimination based on sex and that is a protected class under federal law.

chapel2012 · August 2013

Wow, some of you have real tyrants for bosses!

I haven't told mine yet but because when I do he will try to make me take it easy and will try to do my job for me. A few months ago when I had a a really bad head cold he kept telling me to get rest and he would take care of everything. He is genuinely the nicest person and will bend over backwards for his employees.

Luckily I am the department supervisor so I am in charge of making sure I have coverage for the 6 weeks I am out and I can make sure that my work is handled without him trying to take on everything.

AlphaMom82 · August 2013

I am telling the partners of my firm tomorrow morning. I was not pregnant with my first while working here but I was still nursing when I started and they were nothing but accommodating. I seriously work for the best, nicest people in the world. I want to give them as much notice as possible because I handle our financials and there is a ton of reporting to be done at the end of the first quarter.

I plan on a "working" maternity leave. 3 weeks off, then working 2 days a week for 4 months until I return full time in late August. Hopefully, the partners will agree to that.

I'mGonnaMarryYou · August 2013

Told mine at about 7 weeks because I get hit hard from morning sickness...he was not so supportive. But, then again, I haven't met a boss who is...

steffacchini · August 2013

Have any of you ladies told your employers your pregnant yet? How did you do it? I have to tell my president this time. With my first we had a manager to report to but there have been so many changes. I'm dreading it. He's already misrable!

steffacchini · August 2013

I'm assuming alot of you ladies are in the US? I can't imagine only getting 6 weeks off. We get a year in Canada.

rachbaby1 · August 2013

Those are some horror stories! I have worked with my boss for 8 years, although this is the second year the firm has been his as opposed to controlled with partners. He congratulated me when I told him, and really has only given me a hard time for continuing to go to the gym. You ladies make me feel really lucky that I don't have to be afraid right now - I'm so sorry that is happening to you! Here is some more info on Pregnancy Discrimination:

Pregnancy Discrimination

Pregnancy discrimination involves treating a woman (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of pregnancy, childbirth, or a medical condition related to pregnancy or childbirth.

Pregnancy Discrimination & Work Situations

The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) forbids discrimination based on pregnancy when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, such as leave and health insurance, and any other term or condition of employment.

Pregnancy Discrimination & Temporary Disability

If a woman is temporarily unable to perform her job due to a medical condition related to pregnancy or childbirth, the employer or other covered entity must treat her in the same way as it treats any other temporarily disabled employee. For example, the employer may have to provide light duty, alternative assignments, disability leave, or unpaid leave to pregnant employees if it does so for other temporarily disabled employees.

Additionally, impairments resulting from pregnancy (for example, gestational diabetes or preeclampsia, a condition characterized by pregnancy-induced hypertension and protein in the urine) may be disabilities under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). An employer may have to provide a reasonable accommodation (such as leave or modifications that enable an employee to perform her job) for a disability related to pregnancy, absent undue hardship (significant difficulty or expense). The ADA Amendments Act of 2008 makes it much easier to show that a medical condition is a covered disability. For more information about the ADA, see https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/disability.cfm. For information about the ADA Amendments Act, see https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/disability_regulations.cfm.

Pregnancy Discrimination & Harassment

It is unlawful to harass a woman because of pregnancy, childbirth, or a medical condition related to pregnancy or childbirth. Harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted). The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer.

Pregnancy, Maternity & Parental Leave

Under the PDA, an employer that allows temporarily disabled employees to take disability leave or leave without pay, must allow an employee who is temporarily disabled due to pregnancy to do the same.

An employer may not single out pregnancy-related conditions for special procedures to determine an employee's ability to work. However, if an employer requires its employees to submit a doctor's statement concerning their ability to work before granting leave or paying sick benefits, the employer may require employees affected by pregnancy-related conditions to submit such statements.

Further, under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993, a new parent (including foster and adoptive parents) may be eligible for 12 weeks of leave (unpaid or paid if the employee has earned or accrued it) that may be used for care of the new child. To be eligible, the employee must have worked for the employer for 12 months prior to taking the leave and the employer must have a specified number of employees. See https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28.htm.

Pregnancy & Workplace Laws

Pregnant employees may have additional rights under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which is enforced by the U.S. Department of Labor. Nursing mothers may also have the right to express milk in the workplace under a provision of the Fair Labor Standards Act enforced by the U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division. See https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm.

For more information about the Family Medical Leave Act or break time for nursing mothers, go to https://www.dol.gov/whd, or call 202-693-0051 or 1-866-487-9243 (voice), 202-693-7755 (TTY).

bthlgh · August 2013

pattipants said:
I told my boss a week and a half ago, because he's leaving for travel tomorrow (for 2 iweeks). He JUST started working here 4 weeks ago, so I was really nervous about how he'd react, especially because we have a very small office and no one else does my job. His reaction?

"Wow........ That's pretty damn cool!!!!!" He then told me to go home for the rest of the day -- his "gift" to me to celebrate my pregnancy. So I went home and napped for 2.5 hours. It was awesome

This was so nice I got choked up! Oh hormones. .. but really, what a great boss! Mine is pretty awesome too, and knows we have been trying, so I expect it will go well.

KTdid81 · August 2013

htn1763 said:

JodieLyn10 said:

PerkyErky said:

I am afraid to tell my boss I'm pregnant because I think he'll fire me. I am pretty much holding off as long as possible and am trying to come up with solutions for when I am gone.

This is illegal. I know it happens, but it is illegal and if you can prove it they would open themselves up to all sorts of lawsuits and grievances.

Actually, it's not necessarily illegal depending on the size of the business. FMLA only applies to companies that employ 50+. And anti-discrimination laws that protect against firing for pregnancy only apply to companies that employ something like 15+.

My old job had 4 total employees. My boss could have (and I'm sure wanted to) fire me, but her tactic was to just make my life so miserable during my pregnancy that I eventually quit.

ETA: I could, however, have sued her for sexual harrassment. Among many of her lawsuit worthy-gems: when I told her I was pregnant, she said she assumed so b/c my boobs were bigger; she told me to hide my bump on many occasions before heading into client meetings; she told me the thought of me breastfeeding was disgusting and installed white noise in the office so she would never have to hear my breastpump; and - her crowning achievement - she told me if my water broke at work I'd have to clean it up myself.

I don't particularly agree with this. I think being fired for being pregnant would be considered discrimination based on sex and that is a protected class under federal law.

Only if you want to go hire a lawyer and sue them. Then again, who wants to work for a company that obviously doesn't want them there.

rockopera · August 2013

I told my boss a couple weeks ago. There's a lot going on with me right now, my MIL got sick and passed away in July. With all the time off I had to take for that, and the time I'll need for appts, I wanted him to know. I didn't want to be back from family needs to be all shady about the other time I need off.

He was awesome. He has 3 young kids, and is a devoted father. He's genuinely happy for me and is letting me take whatever time I need. And I can work from home, which I'm needing since I've been so sick. I plan on telling the rest of my team tomorrow, since all the time off and working from home is weird. I'm lucky, my company is a really family friendly company where balance is important.

VineyardMel · August 2013

I just told my boss this afternoon. He was clearly stressed because another co-worker just quit, but overall he was very excited and happy for me. And laughing because he can't imagine me managing 2u2.

Mcsweets · August 2013

KTdid81 said:

kseccomb17 said:

I told my employer because mw asked that I take time off to relieve stress for baby after I began bleeding. My boss said "I guess that's the downfall of hiring younger women- they get pregnant." I was kind of shocked...

Sounds like something my boss would say.

Mine too...

lwebley · August 2013

JodieLyn10 said:

PerkyErky said:

I am afraid to tell my boss I'm pregnant because I think he'll fire me. I am pretty much holding off as long as possible and am trying to come up with solutions for when I am gone.

This is illegal. I know it happens, but it is illegal and if you can prove it they would open themselves up to all sorts of lawsuits and grievances.

Actually, it's not necessarily illegal depending on the size of the business. FMLA only applies to companies that employ 50+. And anti-discrimination laws that protect against firing for pregnancy only apply to companies that employ something like 15+.

They still can't fire you for being pregnant, unless you were unable to do your job... And... They don't have to hold your position while you are on maturnity leave, you could be let go then, but again, only if it were a REALLY small company.

benevolentforce · August 2013

Haven't told mine yet. We're semi-friends outside of work (dinner/drinks with spouses), but his wife quit working when they had kids... so I'm not sure how he feels about working moms. Anyway, I plan on putting together a basic framework of what needs covering while I'm out, suggesting a structure for my leave (and post-leave), and running it all past my COO first (a woman, a working mom and a friend). I probably shouldn't be so nervous about the whole thing, but I really am. You never know how people will respond, so I'm just going to try to be as prepared as possible.

JagWife00 · August 2013

I'll end up telling my manager when I get into the second trimester. My nausea only seems to come in the evening hours. I'm sure there is some suspicion because I've had to leave for a few doctor appointments already... the third one is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm not stressing about it because I work for a really great company and they LOVE baby news.

I am so sorry to read what some of you ladies have to put up with from your bosses. They sound awful.

mamamia866 · August 2013

steffacchini said:
I'm assuming alot of you ladies are in the US? I can't imagine only getting 6 weeks off. We get a year in Canada.

I'm moving to Canada!

jkelly41 · August 2013

kseccomb17 said:

I told my employer because mw asked that I take time off to relieve stress for baby after I began bleeding. My boss said "I guess that's the downfall of hiring younger women- they get pregnant." I was kind of shocked...

What a horrible thing to say!! I would go straight to HR w/that (if you have an HR dept)

Margotsha · August 2013

steffacchini said:

I'm assuming alot of you ladies are in the US? I can't imagine only getting 6 weeks off. We get a year in Canada.

Technically, if you work for a company with 50+ employees, you get 12 weeks off. Short term disability will only typically pay for 6 -8 of those weeks off (which is usually like 60% of your normal pay). So, if you can stand not getting paid, than you can take 12 weeks off.

Margotsha · August 2013

I told my employeer at 8 weeks, and then they just announced at our company meeting about the news (they asked first). I work in a business that is 90% men, but it's very family-oriented. All the guys were SUPER exciting, so it was encouraging

aguy2011 · August 2013

Told them at 8 weeks. Just started job July 1. Odd circumstances but my dad had CFO job at family friends business. When he became terminally ill, I was offered his job. Sadly his illness progressed and we did not get chance to work together. But being family friends, the owners knew my husband and I wanted kids. They were genuinely excited when I told them news and let me pick lunch spot for our weekly lunch mtg. They know that losing my dad, changing jobs, and a baby is a whole lot of change!

steffacchini · August 2013

I dropped the bomb today. Was a little awkward but he said Congrats. I'm glad it's off my mind now. I'm sure more discussions will follow.

Hrose7091 · August 2013

It's illegal but it happens and it happened to me my first pregnancy!!! I was fired one week after telling them I was pregnant. It was completely shady, they made up all kinds of lies. I had worked there a year and even had an awesome review two months prior. Never had been written up or anything. I ended up getting unemployment until I found a new job around 10 weeks.

maygun · August 2013

I told my boss at 7 weeks (a big risk since I had only started working there like...a week earlier) and he was super excited. Luckily, I work at a really family oriented church, so having a baby is actually a good thing. My past employers would have totally canned me though and since AZ is a right to work state and I worked for small businesses, I would not have been able to even get unemployment or been able to sue for discrimination. I mostly told my boss sooner rather than later because I was starting to come off as a jerk for not getting a beer with him at lunch or making up excuses for not doing a wine tasting with him and his wife and he knows I drink so that couldn't even be an excuse!

I am starting a second job (sort of? I've worked for the same person at the ren faire in AZ for a few years now) and I had to tell my boss there that I was pregnant because A) I wanted her to know that I couldn't do it if I had to camp and I'm still not sure I feel up to all 6 weekends of working on my feet all day. She wants me more than ever though now because the clothes she makes can double as maternity as well so now she has a model.

This might seriously be the only aspect of my life that hasn't been an absolute struggle.

MeggsM · August 2013

I just told me boss yesterday. I work in an architecture firm which is usually horrible for a) women and b) family oriented people with a life. But our firm is great and lives babies and families. We just had a company picnic where the boss (man boss not the lady boss) chased kids around with a water gun lol. My boss ( lady boss ) was super happy for us, she threw up her arms in excitement ! I then told everyone else by buying cookies and leaving them on the kitchen counter with a note that said "Guess who's pregnant cookies?" And they had to guess which of the child bearing age women it was! It was great! Everyone was so excited- I'm a lucky woman to work at such a great company! Good luck to you all.

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married 9.2007dd born 8.2010#2 due 3.15.14

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married 9.2007
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