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So anxious to start back to work tomorrow!

AllisonrcrookAllisonrcrook member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I start a new school year tomorrow and I am feeling beyond anxious about it! I'm dreading the "how was your summer".."did you do anything special"....I think I will cry! I'm just not ready to fake a smile and act like I'm myself...because I'm not! I still hurt so badly and cry at least once a day. Nobody at my work knows besides my best friend and so they will be expecting an enthusiastic teacher and outgoing coworker...my heart is NOT there yet!! Plus I'm in a panic about leaving my boys now because I'm paranoid about me not being by their side to care for them..something I really didn't struggle with prior to my mc. Furthermore, I know of one teacher for sure that will be making her grand pregnancy announcement, two just had their babies and there's always more...I think I will have to excuse myself from the faculty meetings just to keep it together. Oh when will this pain end??!! I want to try again but I fear going through a mc carriage again and couldn't imagine going through it during a school year. At least I had the summer to help cope with this one!!! I just feel so lost in my emotions right now and I'm totally venting! Sorry and thanks!!
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Re: So anxious to start back to work tomorrow!

  • mileswithmylesmileswithmyles member
    Good luck to you! I am a teacher too and I went back last week. It actually helped me heal a little more.

    I did have a meltdown day 1 in my APs office and told her what happened. She has known me 10 years and could tell I wasn't myself. It actually really helped to talk to her about it.

    I will keep you in my thoughts tomorrow!
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  • MommaAshley12MommaAshley12 member
    So sorry for your loss l! I think the anticipation may be worse than the actual experience. I'll be praying for you! Good luck.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    BFP 4/17/13, MC began 5/2/13 @ 6 weeks
    EDD 12/27/13
    TTC since 2/2013
    BFP#2 9/23/13 EDD 6/8/14
     
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  • adsprinkle89adsprinkle89 member
    I start inservice tomorrow as well. That first day will be hardest but we will all get threw it! ((Hugs))
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  • kayleenamillerkayleenamiller member
    My inservice begins next Monday so I have another week to determine what I am going to say when I get asked the dreaded summer question.  I know it will be an emotional day as my big u/s was supposed to be that afternoon.  Thankfully my principal knows (I called his wife seeking miscarriage advice) and several coworkers too since we started telling people when we heard the heartbeat at 10w and then unfortunately had to share that my baby grew wings.  I appreciate their condolences but sometimes it leads to awkward conversations where I keep repeating myself.  I look forward to getting back into a routine and focusing on school instead of wallowing in my grief.  Hope all you teachers survive your first day back! 
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  • claywalkerclaywalker member
    Good luck today!
    Married my best friend in 2009
    TTC since April 2010
    Jan 2012 - Started IF treatment 
    Conceived our first angel during IF break, surprised with second (natural) BFP 2.5 months later. 
    May 2014 - TAC surgery 

    Trying to conceive our rainbow baby <3

    imageimage

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  • AllisonrcrookAllisonrcrook member
    Thanks for your thoughts!! Of course the day started with celebrations and two girls announced their pregnancies. However, I didn't cry and I actually had a good day being with coworkers and staying busy. I guess it was nice to get back to normal! Thanks so much for your thoughts!!!
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  • Mia1245Mia1245

    Pick a few "good" coworkers and send them an email telling them what's up.  They can look out for you on good days and bad days.   I've tried not telling anyone at work and it just ended up a disaster.   You can even ask that they not talk to you about it, but if you look depressed they should tell you cheesy jokes.  Of course, my co-workers are mostly male so they excel at denial and telling bad jokes.  Lots and lost of hugs!  Way to be brave today.

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  • Kinipela7Kinipela7 member
    Blah - good luck!  I hope the day isn't too bad for ya!
     
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  • Kinipela7Kinipela7 member
    Should have read the follow- up posts - sorry.  Glad the day wasn't too bad!!
     
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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