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December 2012 Moms
Addy1227
member
Future MIL vent long
Addy1227
member
Let me first start off by saying my MIL to be is very generous and nice and we get a long very well but sometimes she drives me nuts and I know most of it is me over reacting but I just need to get a few things off my chest. First Carter (our son) is not Will (her son, Carters dad) and yet she is reliving Will as a baby through Carter. And I get people like to compare babies to see who he's more like but to her Carter is 100% Will and will do everything just like Will did. Will walked at nine months and skipped crawling all together, shes convinced Carter will do the same.. just like Willie. Except he crawls now, she's seen him crawl so he can't skip crawling and go straight to walking if he's crawling already. Now I know that sounds stupid but that's just one example and she repeats and tells me it all the time! I think it's the way she tells me that bothers me.
Another thing I am irrationally over protective and I know this but can't help it and am trying to lighten up a bit. That said we were over there the other day and her cleaning ladies come over, she just pawns Carter over to the lady to hold without even looking at me or asking if it's OK. That is my baby not yours please just don't hand him over to people I have never seen in my life, it makes me very uncomfortable. It took everything in me to not get up and take him back from her.
Part of her personality is she's a fixer, tries to fix everything and control it even if it's out of her control. When we told her we were pregnant she said she felt like we were just telling her we were pregnant and not asking her, to which I nicely responded; we are telling you, if there was a decision to be made it was a between me and him not me, him and you. And for the next few weeks we had to sit down at least once a week while she mapped out our lives for us, literally making lists and plans, until she finally realized what she was doing.
And the last thing I'd like to complain about is when I was in labor, I didn't want anyone at the hospital but it didn't happen that way. I didn't know this until recently but when I was pushing she was coming up to my door and trying to listen and then going back to report false information like I think the baby is here but I don't hear him I hope he's okay. Thus throwing my family into a panic, my mom barged in right as the baby came out because she was so scared and thought something had happened to me, and my dad was ready to kill my fMIL.
Sorry so long but thank you if you made it through, letting these things out helps a lot. She wants to take him for a day later this month so it'd be best if I let go some of this otherwise I'll end up saying no and that's not very nice of me. Oh I lied one more thing! At this point I was still attempting to nurse/pumping full time so Carter was probably younger than 2 months. We went over and she takes him upstairs to her room to cuddle with him in her bed! This still p*sses me off and I will probably never let this go. I have never been in her room, you don't take someone's baby to your room to have cuddle time!! It was close to feeding time so he kept fussing and I could hear and I just wanted to scream and cry and take my baby and never return there again. After him fussing for like 15 minutes she comes down and says I think he's hungry, no sh*t Sherlock! Oh I wanted to kill her and Will for letting her do it the visit before which I wasn't at so she assumed it was OK. The more I think about things she's done like this the less I want her to have that all day play date.. ugh! She has a hard time respecting my parenting wishes and just doing what she did with Will. Again thanks for reading, feel free to talk me into this play date! Will and I could use the alone time and I know she's capable of handling a baby, and it'd just be for a day.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Future MIL vent long
We Made A Wish....
And You Came True!
And I should definitely talk to my fMIL because I dread visits and I think she can tell, I'm never happy when we go over no matter how hard I try. And I hate the he/she turned out fine excuse, drives me nuts! Addy1227, you are not being overprotective by not wanting a stranger to hold your baby. Perfectly normal. I would be the same way. And the cuddling in bed would seriously make my blood boil!!! I would have a conversation w/her as soon as possible, because you certainly don't want it getting any worse. If you're not comfortable w/that, maybe you, her and FI can talk, but either way, she need to know what the boundaries are. And you don't need anyone's permission to start a family, that's just nuts! And OMG the thing about when you were in labor, well I have no words...I really hope you're able to work some stuff out w/her and hopefully get on the same page. And don't feel bad about saying something. You have to do what's best for your family, even if that means ruffling some feathers.