acceptable level of video game play?

JennsFirstat35 · August 2013

What do you feel is an acceptable level of video game play? I have two step sons 7 and 8 and that is literally all they do. It goes on first thing in the morning and does not go off until 8pm at night. I have tried setting limits ie no video games before 9am, but my husband does not follow them. I don't enforce the rules that I make anymore because, lets face it, I am not their mother and I don't want my husband to feel like I am stepping on his toes as a parent. We live in the middle of the city, so we have no yard for them to play in. During the week, I send them to a daycamp at the YMCA from 9a - 5p, but as soon as they get home, on comes the TV and video games are played. We just went to our cabin this last week where we have a huge yard and a beach across the street, but they stayed inside at the table and played on their Nintendo DS things. I am quite annoyed by the whole thing. I don't remember being allowed to sit inside on beautiful sunny days and play video games and watch TV. When they go to their mother's house it is the same thing. I think it is hurting their ability to concentrate on anything that doesn't blink or beep at them. What do I do about this? It's getting to the point to where I don't want them around our daughter because I don't want her growing up this way. I want her to be able to sit in a quiet room and be okay and not have to be constantly entertained by blinking lights and sounds. None of her toys light up or make noise yet (she's 8 weeks old). My husband is not much better. He is constantly on his phone or listening to a book on tape. I feel like I am the only one who is "unplugged" most of the time. What do I do???

CFjo2010 · August 2013

I'm kind of a jerk. I don't allow any TV, video games or computer games during the week (Mon-Fri). Those are only allowed on the weekends, and each child is given 2 hours max per day. The only exception is if we're watching movies as a family, then that 2 hour limit doesn't necessarily apply. DS is 14, DD is 10, K is 7 and PJ is 8 months.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do if your DH isn't wanting to change anything. This is something he needs to feel a sense of urgency in, and any efforts on your part will only lead to frustration.

SimpleJane · August 2013

My ped said 2 hours or less per day of screen time. Otherwise they aren't being active enough. That includes TV, computer, video games, and hand held devices.

Pamelacake · August 2013

I agree with Jo that YH definitely needs to be on board. DS and both SS's, SS's mainly would be on it from the time they wake up in the morning and stay up as late as they could to play. DS has always loved to be outside. I got sick of it bc I set certain time limits, which were not followed so I would let them know they had 5 minutes to get to a save point bc I was taking the game.

They started playing outside more and were actually happier kids. Of course I was the worst person in the world at first but they started to enjoy outside. My rule for school days is 1/2 hour each kid for whichever consoles you choose, but no longer on school nights. I give them a little longer on the weekends but still have a time limit set since it's warmer. If I start to see grades falling or daily chores not being done, there will be no playing on the games. If they don't keep their rooms clean, the games are the first to go.

4luvof2boys · August 2013

My DH was not on board either. My DSs were 8 and 10yrs when I met them (adoptive step mom here). All they talked about was what level on such and such video game they were on. DH and both DSs would sit and watch TV for hours. This may sound drastic but it was all I could do to keep from walking out on all of them.

There are no gaming systems in our home now. All were sold in a yard sale. Shortly after that, two years ago I cut the cable. DH wasn't happy but I told him if he turned the cable back on I would file for divorce. Two years later both DSs have friends, a social life, oldest DS has a part time job, both play sports, etc. We still watch DVDs from time to time but a movie a day is around 2 hrs X 7 days is 14hrs a week devoted to tv. That is still a lot of screen time.

We have Nintendo DSs but they live in our closet and only come out for road trips where the boys are stuck in the car for 6 hrs. It is funny now to hear DH or DSs tell other's who ask why we don't have cable/video games that, "we are busy living our REAL life". They will get used to it after a couple months. Then they will be proud of it. This is extreme and not for everyone. It was hard for me too. You don't realize how addicted you are to the tv/game until you don't have it anymore.

fellesferie · August 2013

So I have some mixed opinions on this.

First, the AAP recommends no more than 2 hours of 'screen time' every day. So that's not just television, but all electronic devices.

I do not expressly limit my kids' screen time (there's no set minute/hour), but their time is limited because my other rules--ie, no tv until homework/chores are done, no electronic privileges unless you're being cooperative & kind.

The thing is, though...as a child, I was an indoor kid. I played outside some, but I never enjoyed it. I have allergies, I don't like itchy grass, and I hate sweating. All I wanted to do was read. Now I'm an indoor adult. I read, I knit, I cook and bake from scratch, I organize... these things make me happy.

I have one outdoor kid (DS) and one indoor kid (DD). I can look at my nieces and nephews and see the same thing. My BIL has this great picture of his kids outside--2 of them are playing and 1 is sitting on a swing with her nose in a book.

Your s-kids might be indoor kids. I'm not saying they should be allowed to play video games 24/7, but I also don't think kids should be forced outside. If YH will not back you, there's not much you can do. And you can bet this will be an issue with your baby, too.

You also need to consider that schools are moving towards more and more electronics. Local private schools are using tablets extensively. DS's public school uses Macs every day, and daily homework is assigned using ixl.com. My state (TN) is moving towards online standardized assessments.

Maybe strive for balance and start making the electronics work for you. See if YH will agree to let them have X amount of time, half of which is spent on educational applications like math games or tumble books.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

fellesferie said:

So I have some mixed opinions on this.

First, the AAP recommends no more than 2 hours of 'screen time' every day. So that's not just television, but all electronic devices.

I do not expressly limit my kids' screen time (there's no set minute/hour), but their time is limited because my other rules--ie, no tv until homework/chores are done, no electronic privileges unless you're being cooperative & kind.

The thing is, though...as a child, I was an indoor kid. I played outside some, but I never enjoyed it. I have allergies, I don't like itchy grass, and I hate sweating. All I wanted to do was read. Now I'm an indoor adult. I read, I knit, I cook and bake from scratch, I organize... these things make me happy.

I have one outdoor kid (DS) and one indoor kid (DD). I can look at my nieces and nephews and see the same thing. My BIL has this great picture of his kids outside--2 of them are playing and 1 is sitting on a swing with her nose in a book.

Your s-kids might be indoor kids. I'm not saying they should be allowed to play video games 24/7, but I also don't think kids should be forced outside. If YH will not back you, there's not much you can do. And you can bet this will be an issue with your baby, too.

You also need to consider that schools are moving towards more and more electronics. Local private schools are using tablets extensively. DS's public school uses Macs every day, and daily homework is assigned using ixl.com. My state (TN) is moving towards online standardized assessments.

Maybe strive for balance and start making the electronics work for you. See if YH will agree to let them have X amount of time, half of which is spent on educational applications like math games or tumble books.

My son is an indoor kind of kid as well. He plays football at school so he has practice Mon-Fri. But Saturday and Sunday he wants nothing to do with the outdoors unless it involves the beach.

@JennsFirstat35 depending on the game system you have, there are some really great "get off your butt and move games". We have a Wii and an Xbox 360 and the kids love playing Wipeout, Dance Central, and Star Wars something or another. The girls will play Dance Central all day if I let them. These games force them to get up off the couch and move, plus it's fun to sit in the living room with them and watch. We have had actual family "dance offs" and even my DS14 will join in.

ambrvan · August 2013

fellesferie said:
So I have some mixed opinions on this.

First, the AAP recommends no more than 2 hours of 'screen time' every day. So that's not just television, but all electronic devices.

I do not expressly limit my kids' screen time (there's no set minute/hour), but their time is limited because my other rules--ie, no tv until homework/chores are done, no electronic privileges unless you're being cooperative & kind.

The thing is, though...as a child, I was an indoor kid. I played outside some, but I never enjoyed it. I have allergies, I don't like itchy grass, and I hate sweating. All I wanted to do was read. Now I'm an indoor adult. I read, I knit, I cook and bake from scratch, I organize... these things make me happy.

I have one outdoor kid (DS) and one indoor kid (DD). I can look at my nieces and nephews and see the same thing. My BIL has this great picture of his kids outside--2 of them are playing and 1 is sitting on a swing with her nose in a book.

Your s-kids might be indoor kids. I'm not saying they should be allowed to play video games 24/7, but I also don't think kids should be forced outside. If YH will not back you, there's not much you can do. And you can bet this will be an issue with your baby, too.

You also need to consider that schools are moving towards more and more electronics. Local private schools are using tablets extensively. DS's public school uses Macs every day, and daily homework is assigned using ixl.com. My state (TN) is moving towards online standardized assessments.

Maybe strive for balance and start making the electronics work for you. See if YH will agree to let them have X amount of time, half of which is spent on educational applications like math games or tumble books.

I agree with everything Felles said. There are times when I have had to make SD get off her tablet, but fir the most part her time is limited by her daily schedule. Especially now that school is back in session. *doing a little dance for school right now*

The summer is much harder to keep them busy if they are gone all day. But if they spend the majority of the day at a YMCA camp then you can pretty easily keep them on a similar schedule as in the school year (chores done first, bad behavior or failure to do chores loses the games, family time after dinner, etc).

But as everyone else said, if your H isn't on board with you, any concrete rules you mean nothing. But I'm not saying five up and deal with it. I'm saying get creative in how you deflect them and interrupt them from the games. You do deserve to be respected in your own house, so if you say a chore needs to be done at this moment, then they better darn well get off that game and get to it. If your H won't even back that, then there is a bigger problem.

We also have no cable. We watch Dvds. DH and I have internet in our phones. SD has a tablet but no access to WiFi. I will say I have to put my phone in my bedroom to stay of it myself though. I try to put it up when I get home from work and not need with it again until bed time.

Want a personalized experience?

acceptable level of video game play?

Re: acceptable level of video game play?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards