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How do you handle season passes you buy?

ballmomballmom member
in Blended Families
Do you have the rule that the passes are only for when the skids are with you or do you allow the skids to use them with the other parent?

In the past, we have bought the family sports passes for the high school. With tickets being $5/person per game it made sense to buy it and save money, especially with SD playing multiple sports. What we have ran into is that BM will ask to use the skids passes so she can save money. It bothers me because we save for them but she gives us grief if we say no.

We are looking into getting season passes to a local theme park for next year and I know we will run into the same thing. I just have a problem with her wanting to use them for free while we have to save them and dish out the money for them.
~Amy
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Re: How do you handle season passes you buy?

  • KendraL86KendraL86 member
    That's pretty crummy of her to want to get a free ride when you've saved to be able to buy the passes. Tell her that if she wants to use them, she has to pay half the cost of them!
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  • twister22twister22 member
    Here's my thoughts:
    If custody is 50/50 and both parents want the child to have a pass somewhere, it's fair for them to split the cost 50/50. If one parent pays for the pass 100%, and the other parent wants to use it, then it's at the discretion of the parent who paid for the pass. If I were the parent in that situation, I would say "If you would like to use the pass you need to pay for half of it, otherwise you can buy a one visit ticket."
    Now, if there's a CP and a NCP with EOWE, I think the situation is different. As the CP I just let BD use DS's(4.5) local theme park pass - he actually has it right now. BD paid for his own pass, while I paid for the passes for me, DH, and DS. I suppose I could of asked him to pay for half of DS's pass since BD takes DS to the local theme park a lot, but it just wasn't a priority to me. I would rather BD finish paying the 50% of DS's extra curricular activities that he owes (something that is CO'd), as well as help pay for DS's PreK for this year (not CO'd.)
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    If you asked her to pay for half and she said no she is ballsy to ask. But at the same time it is the kids pass so it is crappy to say no because it is for the child and not you. I say ask before buying and then go from there but do not ask after.
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  • MommyEllenSueMommyEllenSue member
    When we pay for passes then we only use them. But we also have issues with BM taking things and not returning them or trashing them. She actually asks SK's to steal things from our home for her. Though If we could trust to get them back when we needed them I would share.
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  • new+tothisnew+tothis member
    I guess I'm in the minority here. I feel like things like this are purchased for the kid/s. I take DS to a lot of places I wouldn't go by myself. If I buy a pass for that type of place I would let BD use it because the experience is for DS. Of course, if it's a regular occurrence I totally support asking the other parent to pay half. I would do that if BD asked and he would probably do the same if I asked (and it were something he would like to take DS to).
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    Most season passes we have are tied to photo IDs. But if I have any tickets/passes that DS & XH can use, I have offered them the two times XH has come here. 

    XH pays quite a lot of CS, and I am okay with him benefitting from things I've bought for the kids. 
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  • Sunday924Sunday924 member
    I would offer them to BM if I knew they were going but I think it would be strange if she asked. Only because I wouldn't ask.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    When we have passes (Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, Universal Studios, etc) we have always let BM know she can use K's when K is with her if she wants. We feel like the pass belongs to K, not to us. BM had asked to use the Disneyland pass once or twice, but that was it.
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  • la79alla79al member
    BM has offered to let us use SKs amusement park season passes before and we have offered to let her use skiing passes before.  If the stuff is already paid for, A) it gives BM and the kids the option of something to do rather than sit home and watch TV  B)we are getting even more uses for the money spent  and C) if we save $20 by sharing a pass, we're gonna be more likely to spend that $20 on enhancing the experience (snacks, games, etc).  Theoretically, whoever pays for the pass has the option of not sharing but as long as you will get it back or easily replace it, it kind of works out in favor of the kids.
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  • ballmomballmom member
    I see that point. My issue is that things do not easily come back to our house which is why I do not want them being used without us.
    ~Amy
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  • AlwaysForgetful AlwaysForgetful member
    I have gold passes for the boys to the local petting zoo that has some fun stuff to do as well. I then have a family pass (not gold, but it gets me in. I do not want to do the "fun stuff") that I can have up to 6 people on. I added me, DH, our Auntie who sometimes helps, and the youngest child who is to young to do things. I will not add Ex because he did not help pay for it and declined. Plus, it is only $3 to get in anyway. He will live.

    IF Ex could take the boys by himself, I would NOT send the passes with him for them. Mainly because he would not return them. That is the only reason why though. If I know he would return the kids' passes I would. Before the CO stating supervised visitation he would take the kids once in a blue moon (read twice a year) and anything sent with them was never returned, including potty seat, clothes, toys (they were going for several days and had nothing there) and so on. The car seats were only returned because the kids were using them to come home (Yes, I know I did not have to let him use the car seats).
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    If the other parent is not a flake like OP's, then I would say, yes, let them use it if it's an occassional thing, but if they are obviously abusing it - ask them to pay for half or at least whatever percentage they use the passes. 

    In my case, I probably won't let XH use these things because quite frankly, I feel like I have doled out enough $$ on his behalf and feel like I was used as his personal bank account. It's time he learn how much it costs to have a child and at least pay up for one of his kids.

     

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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    I get us Disneyland passes, although DD's dad has never asked to use it (mainly because they never take her with them - they have passes too), I wouldn't have any problems with him using it for her.  I don't see this as a big deal, personally.

     

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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    We have zoo passes but you need a photo id to use it. If we let BM hold our pass we would never see it again.
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