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LGBT Parenting
Frustrated (long)
So I woke up early on Saturday to prepare for a relaxing weekend at the lake house with my friends and did my duty by testing on my Clearblue OPK and lo and behold, I got a smiley face. Which was incredibly puzzling since I was only CD 8 at that point and my cycles are usually 35-38 days long. I panicked and called my doctor because I didn't want to miss the critical window for insemination. He told me to come in on Monday for an ultrasound (I was supposed to go on Tuesday originally) to check my follicles and decide from there. Meanwhile, we'd ordered the sperm sample from our cryobank to arrive today. The tank will last a week so it expires on Thursday of this week.
The lady did my ultrasound this morning and has no idea why the OPK registered a surge. My largest follicle is only 9 mm (she said it should be double in size before it bursts through the ovary) and said we can't do the insemination yet (obviously). I asked if they could store the sperm until we needed it and she seemed pretty confident that they could hang on to it for at least a month. Just before I was about to leave she pulled me aside and explained that they don't have a nitrogen tank to keep it in so I'd need to figure something else out. I asked if she knew of any locations in town that could keep it. She said no. She then told me that a doctor would call me soon to tell me what to do next.
1) I am furious at Clearblue for guaranteeing an over 99% accurate reading. I'm in that zero-point-something percent category with an inaccurate reading? Really???
2) I am furious with my OBGYN for asking me to send a sperm sample and assuring me he could hang on to it until we needed it. I'd originally asked before I shipped it if he could keep it in his office and he said yes. Maybe he'd assumed they could just keep the tank but considering it lasts only 7 days and the precious $800 cargo could DIE after that and become completely useless, I'd hoped he would be forthcoming and freaking tell me so I could have either gotten the 2 week tank (which probably would have been perfect) or had it overnighted priority for another hundred bucks, which would have been totally worth it because now I'm panicking about what to do with this sperm.
3) I have no idea what to do with this sperm to keep it viable and I'm really, really upset. I don't have thousands of dollars at my disposal to throw around. I have three vials of 2994 and THAT'S IT. After that we have to start the process from scratch so each insemination MUST count.
4) I have an RE appiointment at the end of September. I may just send the sperm to them (because I know they have a freezer capable of storing the sperm indefinitely if necessary) and go from there. But that's incredibly frustrating because I know I will miss this cycle, and I know I'll have to pay for another doctor's visit in addition to the (expensive) ultrasound I had to do concluding that I'm not even close to being ready for insemination.
5) In other words, I'm extremely ticked and I have a lot on my plate as it is. This is not something I'm even remotely in the mood to deal with right now but I'm afraid I don't have a choice.
Incompetence on every level has been experienced today. I need to take a breath and move on.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Frustrated (long)
Keep your head up and take some time to meditate on the end goal! I am constantly having to remind myself why we are putting ourselves through all of this... But when I allow myself to envision it happening, all the pain, and heartache become opaquely worth it. Thinking of moments of peace for you today.
Baby Hayden Frances born 12/20/14 at 11:11 a.m... Our perfect little miracle. Here's how we got here:
My lovely wife:
5 IUI's January 2013-June 2013- 3 Cycles with Clomid- BFN
Myself: Genderqueer guy who hopped in the driver's seat of the baby making train
IUI #6- 7/23- Monitored and Trigger on Day 12, with one 16mm follicle and one 18mm follicle- BFN
IUI #7- 8/21- Not monitored, 50mg Clomid- BFN
September and October: Missed Cycles due to vacation and a Half Marathon
IUI #8- Monitored and triggered on day 15, with one 23x18mm follicle- BFN on 11/19/2013
December: Moved onto to see an RE to make a good plan.
IUI #9- 1/1/2014 Natural Cycle, BFP on 1/15/2014, 6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
IUI #10 3/21/2014- Natural Cycle- BFP on 4/1/2014 (please don't be an April Fools. Beta #1 13dpiui- 48, Beta #2 16dpiui- 416, Beta #3 1018...
1st Ultrasound- 4/22/2014- 6w4d HB- 134!
Check out my Blog at: http://pregnantboithinksoutloud.blogspot.com/
I am so sorry to hear this -- it is totally frustrating, and your venting is well-deserved.
At this point, it seems like you best bet would be to send the sperm to the RE's office and then call and see if they have had any cancellations and if they would be at all willing to squeeze you in for an appointment this week so that you don't end up having to skip this cycle. It is worth a try, right?
In the meantime, I hope that you and your partner are able to find comfort in each other and get through this frustrating moment together. There will likely be more bumps ahead, and while they are unexpected and unwelcome, in the long run they will just become a stepping stone in your journey. Sending you positive thoughts!
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********Be prepared for a storage fee from the re, but it will be worth it. Take deep breaths and remember to relax, as this will help with you more than anything. But yeah, this whole situation completely sucks. I'm really sorry!
Others have given good advice regarding the sperm -- I hope you are able to spare it!
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
@jspencer8216 - Many, many thanks! I called your RE and scheduled an appointment for myself. They'll take my vial for me so it won't expire in its tank and I can deliver it myself, thank goodness. I was worried sick about paying another $350 to send it back to VA and have it shipped to IN again in a few weeks. So annoying! I really wish they would've been forthcoming with me in that they don't do cryo preservation in their office. It sounds like Dr. Bopp is on top of things. I'm much happier to pay for an office visit with a good RE than I am to pay for shipping for this darned tank of sperm. I'm recruiting my mother to take the tank in for me, if it's allowed. I'll tell her it's her first duty as a grandma
Thanks, also, to everyone else for the kind words of encouragement. I was pretty peeved this morning after my visit. Felt like I threw away ~$550 for nothing but it wasn't all in vain. I'm not trusting those OPKs anymore, that's for sure. Did anyone have more success with a CBFM? I've been using that too... no peaks or even highs yet. I'm gonna keep on that and let my doctor know. For now I'm writing off my OBGYN. I wanted to do this locally because it's so time sensitive, but I'm glad Dr. Bopp has hours on Saturday and Sunday. Such a relief.