How to bring it up to DH?

jnnfrrose6 · August 2013

After reading the earlier discussion about cleaning services I'm coveting having someone come every other week, but don't know how DH would take it. Any suggestions for broaching the subject with him? I don't know how to get him to see it's worth the money (pretty sure he thinks we're doing fine keeping up with everything, but we both work FT, just closed on our first home yesterday, and I can't remember the last time I vacuumed...)

MamaAllison · August 2013

Make a list of everything that needs to get done, then sit down and divide it up with him. Once he sees how much there is to do and how little time there is it might be an easier conversation.

LoCarb · August 2013

Agree with @MamaAllison

Also, mention how time consuming it is. Wouldn't your rather spend more time with him and the kids? It's less stressful as it's no longer on your 'to do' list.

itsmevkb · August 2013

Say you'll have them clean once and then see what you both think. If he's anything like my husband, coming home to a super clean house will be all the convincing he needs.

groovygrl · August 2013

Ditto the others... I think doing the list & asking him which of the things on it he plans to do and that you think it should be split fairly might be motivating (would be in my house...) and MH seriously likes coming home to the clean house more than I do I think... of course it is messed up within an hour of getting in & eating dinner but oh well

Karla CS · August 2013

I think there also was a calculator online that calculates, based on your salary and work commitments, what your effective hourly rate is for your freetime. You can then say, my time is woth $xxx, and it would only cost $xx to pay someone to clean/garden/walk the dog, etc. Wish I could remember the link, but I don't have time to look it up today, sorry!

Karla CS · August 2013

Okay, I lied. This isn't the exact one I was thinking of, but close enough:

https://www.learnvest.com/2011/02/whats-your-time-worth/

SunAndRain · August 2013

You: "DH, I have a cleaning service coming on Thursday so please make sure that you shoes and other random items are picked up so that they can clean properly. Thanks!"

You work for a living. Just make a decision and move on.

Avion22 · August 2013

Jumping in -- not a mom yet, but H and I both work full-time and we have someone come in for 3.5 hours every other week. It's amazing. We obviously have to do some of our own cleaning in between, but it's really nice to have someone clean the bathrooms really well, do windows, and other stuff that we just don't want to do on a Saturday morning. Also, we make sure the cleaner comes on Friday so we start the weekend with a nice clean house.

Snufflyfluffy · August 2013

You: "DH, I have a cleaning service coming on Thursday so please make sure that you shoes and other random items are picked up so that they can clean properly. Thanks!"

You work for a living. Just make a decision and move on.

Um I don't know how your house works but getting a new bill normally means you need to discuss it with your spouse, it is not just her money that is getting spent.

groovygrl · August 2013

Snufflyfluffy said:

You: "DH, I have a cleaning service coming on Thursday so please make sure that you shoes and other random items are picked up so that they can clean properly. Thanks!"

You work for a living. Just make a decision and move on.

Um I don't know how your house works but getting a new bill normally means you need to discuss it with your spouse, it is not just her money that is getting spent.

This is true but it 'could' be her money depending on how they set up their money/accts. I have a personal discretion account and while that is not how our cleaning service gets paid, I could have used it for that and MH couldn't have argued w/ me since that is how we've chosen to set up our $.

StayingSecret · August 2013

For me, I'd be able to get DH on board once I proved that it fit into our budget and that it would free us up for more family life.

He'd be okay with it if I did that...I don't feel the need for one in the house we currently have with 1 LO and me just working part-time, but as we're currently moving soon and about to have another LO, that might change. But that's how I'd have to approach it with him.

Our finances are all joint, so I'd be miffed if he came to me and said "I've decided that we're spending an extra $200/month on this." without a discussion. But maybe the cost isn't that big to you guys.

nosoup4u · August 2013

Does he do any cleaning? It boggles my mind that this would be a sensitive subject in someone's house. Just tell him you think it'd be helpful to have a cleaner, have some quotes on hand so you know how much it would cost, and point out you guys get swamped with cleaning and working FT.

shannm · August 2013

Haha...we don't have one bc of my issues.
But I just told my DH that I was reading a thread about convincing husbands to hire cleaners. He looked confused and said "why? Do they get off on watching their wives clean instead of having sex with them?" Lol.

jnnfrrose6 · August 2013

nosoup4u said:

Does he do any cleaning? It boggles my mind that this would be a sensitive subject in someone's house. Just tell him you think it'd be helpful to have a cleaner, have some quotes on hand so you know how much it would cost, and point out you guys get swamped with cleaning and working FT.

Actually, he does do most of the cleaning (he's got the personality type that can't leave things be if it's not picked up...I can usually look past it a few days and then straighten up unless it's food related).

Thank you for the suggestions. I did bring it up this weekend when we discussing some financial things with the new home. He didn't nix it out right, but did think there was more we could both be doing so we wouldn't need it. Once we get moved, I'm going to find someone for maybe once a month to start and focus on the less popular things like bathrooms and dusting and we'll go from there.

michaelaskedlauren · August 2013

itsmevkb said:

Say you'll have them clean once and then see what you both think. If he's anything like my husband, coming home to a super clean house will be all the convincing he needs.

This is what I did. While it was more me that was on the fence than DH, he was fine with it if I wanted to have one come monthly. Once I saw how clean they got the place in probably a quarter of the time it would have taken me (there is a team of 6 or 7 that comes) I was sold.

Reilly626 · August 2013

My husband doesn't see dust. I told him if be wants to do it fine. As a full time teacher and mom my weekends are not for cleaning and my babies crawl all over and need immaculate floors. It's the best money I spend every 2 weeks.

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