Hate to be an AW but I need a little boost/pep talk/reality check

Marcilene1 · August 2013

I have been surprisingly upbeat since my loss. The first two weeks were really hard and then I just kind of forced myself to move on. Well, I think that strategy is now biting me in the ass. I am starting to feel really panicky that I won't be able to have a successful pregnancy, that I won't even be able to get pregnant, that if I do have a baby there will be defects. I don't know where these feelings are coming from because I really was feeling optimistic even up until just a few hours ago.

I know that no one can tell me that everything will be alright, but I really wish someone could

Hugs to anyone tonight who is also in a funk. (((hugs)))

mileswithmyles · August 2013

Awwww... Hugs to you. I think we all experience this in waves.

Good luck to you!

mara005 · August 2013

Huge ((hugs!))

Unknown · August 2013

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MommaAshley12 · August 2013

You may need to let your true feelings out and spend some time grieving your loss. It's normal to start panicking about your fertility, I know I have. Thinking of you during this crappy time! I hope your funk ends soon. ((Hugs))

uneek1323 · August 2013

I completely understand. I'm sorry you're having these feelings. Take care of yourself and take it one day at a time.

uneek1323 · August 2013

meladoriestar said:

((hugs)) I know just what you mean. I can't promise everything will be ok, but I can definitely assure you that there is always hope!

You can definitely assure that someone has hope? Really? Please don't say shit like this. You have no idea.

vikinggirl4 · August 2013

Huge ((((hugs!))))

Marcilene1 · August 2013

MommaAshley12 said:

You may need to let your true feelings out and spend some time grieving your loss. It's normal to start panicking about your fertility, I know I have. Thinking of you during this crappy time! I hope your funk ends soon. ((Hugs))

You are absolutely right about this. I think I am/was just trying to not pay attention to those feelings because they are so unpleasant. I just want things to be back to "normal". Whatever the hell that means now.

AnyMax · August 2013

(((hugs))) I am so sorry you are feeling like this

MommaAshley12 · August 2013

Marcilene1 said:

MommaAshley12 said:

You may need to let your true feelings out and spend some time grieving your loss. It's normal to start panicking about your fertility, I know I have. Thinking of you during this crappy time! I hope your funk ends soon. ((Hugs))

You are absolutely right about this. I think I am/was just trying to not pay attention to those feelings because they are so unpleasant. I just want things to be back to "normal". Whatever the hell that means now.

Maybe you can try writing about it instead of talking about it? Just a thought.

Unknown · August 2013

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Unknown · August 2013

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MrsHamon09 · August 2013

Hugs to you during this time

TT Bride 13 · August 2013

I felt the exact same way, heck still do after more than a year. And working at a children's hospital, seeing the stuff I see, scares the crap out of me! But, getting to hold the babies who are just here for something little and I know are going to go home and be ok, gives me hope. Seeing how cute my husband is playing with babies and little kids helps also

I know that whatever happens, he will be there. Let yourself grieve, give yourself time. Like pp have said, see if writing it out helps. The hurt is going to linger, but it does get a little easier. I'm sorry you are going through this!

SandSunBliss · August 2013

(((Hugs))) so sorry dear. These fears and the sadness will come and go. Just take one day at a time.

11Luiley24 · August 2013

Having to deal with a loss only makes you stronger. I just found out on Friday that there was no HB at 8W5D. It was very hard to hear those words and this is my first pregnancy. I think it is normal to be worried about TTC again but a majority of the women that try have successful pregnancies the second time around. Best of luck to you and stay strong. Remember you are not alone.

barefootandboots · August 2013

I've been there too. After my third loss, I cried the first day or so and then I was ok. Randomly, though, I will just break down and cry from it all. I agree with others that the grieving process is important. Take care of yourself!

ashellypnut · August 2013

It seems pretty common that we go through phases where we are ok with things then there's a melt-down. At least for myself, I can say that this true. GL along this journey and FX you find peace.

Marcilene1 · August 2013

Thank you so much for your responses and support. I woke up feeling crappy this morning again and then I saw all of these posts. Amazing. What a fantastic group of women you all are! I am so grateful for this board

I hope everyone has a great day and (((hugs))) to anyone who needs them.

chknma · August 2013

Hugs to you Marcilene1.
Please give yourself some room to have all of these feelings. It is normal to have good days and tough days. I agree with others that it might be helpful to journal or seek out counseling if it would help you with processing of your emotions. Take extra good care of yourself and accept support from those around you. It can be hard because a lot of us haven't told many people about our losses, so us TTCAL ladies are always here for you too!!

Edit: hit post too soon

[Deleted User] · August 2013

*hugs* I know exactly how you feel. Most of the time I am good, I am optimistic. But every now and then I think "But what if?" and it takes a little time to snap out of it.

With my first loss, I kept it inside because I didn't really want anyone know who I didn't need to know. This time I've been more open about it and I've discovered friends IRL that have been through the same and understand exactly what I'm going through. It shouldn't be surprising, since 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, but I still am taken aback at how many women I know personally have had one.

ksyknelvr73 · August 2013

I'm late to this, but I can totally relate to how you are feeling and it sucks a lot. I didn't cry much after my 2nd loss - I don't know if I was just numb or what...and I wasn't really in a funk, I felt fine for the most part. Then I had my 3rd loss not two months later and I really, really broke down. It's hard not to get discouraged, and some days are better than others. ((HUGS))

gingerkid9989 · August 2013

BIG ((HUGS))... sorry to be late to this. I wasn't bumping last night.

golfingdarwinfish · August 2013

It's incredibly difficult to have faith in a process that is completely out of our control; especially when it has failed us in the past. Your feelings are normal, but try to calm the voices so they don't take control; in an area where none of us truly have control, you definitely don't want those voices getting in the last word. ((Huge hugs))

jbasore1123 · August 2013

VCGolfNYC said:
It's incredibly difficult to have faith in a process that is completely out of our control; especially when it has failed us in the past. Your feelings are normal, but try to calm the voices so they don't take control; in an area where none of us truly have control, you definitely don't want those voices getting in the last word.

((Huge hugs))

Very true

bumpuser9524622 · August 2013

((hugs)) I'm sorry that you're having a rough time.

carlsonbaby2014 · August 2013

(((big hugs)))....so sorry you're in a funk. Definitely find myself there from time to time. We're always here for you.

catsinawindow · August 2013

I don't have a whole lot to add after what the PPs said, but I wanted to stop in to give you ((Hugs)). >:D<

I know I'm going through these feelings from time-to-time as well, and it sounds like many other ladies on this board know the feeling, too. I think it's just a fact that TTCAL and (hopefully) eventual PAL will be different from TTC and PG before loss. It sucks, but it's why these communities are here.

I hope tomorrow is brighter for you.

MrsWallick · August 2013

It is totally normal to have a rollercoasters of emotions. I feel like some days I'm screaming in joy and then screaming in anger and then screaming just because I don't know why. I'm glad you have found support here and know that what you're feeling is completely normal and (unfortunately) we all understand.

JCM285 · August 2013

@Marcilene1, I think your feelings are perfectly normal. It takes time for feelings to "settle in" sometimes. You may have suffered from some shock and now you are just digesting it. Don't worry about your feelings being abnormal. Allow yourself to experience them but also enjoy yourself. Do something fun to make yourself feel better :-)

katee2184 · August 2013

((Hugs)) I am sorry you are feeling this way. These feelings tend to come and go, take care of yourself and take it one day at a time.

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Hate to be an AW but I need a little boost/pep talk/reality check

Re: Hate to be an AW but I need a little boost/pep talk/reality check

Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

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Want a personalized experience?

Hate to be an AW but I need a little boost/pep talk/reality check

Re: Hate to be an AW but I need a little boost/pep talk/reality check

Began trying for a baby January 2012BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014

Choose Another Board

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Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014