MIL these days. Make me LOL

rosandra25 · August 2013

I'm having 2 baby showers. My mom is throwing one for me. She lives in IL 4 hours away with the rest of all my family. I live in IN with my H and all his family is here. I really don't have friends here and am not super close with his family either. So my H and I are organizing the baby shower here. Last week my H mom was all like oh I'll buy all the plates silverware cups etc. My H and I were like ok cool. Today we went to visit and she was like oh btw the plates and all that stuff is my gift to you and the baby. I was like are you serious? Of course I didn't complain. I know it's not about the gifts, but I was like come on! It's our first baby and her gift is plates for the baby shower? Whatever. This is my first baby, my moms first grandchild, and she bought the crib and stroller for me. I love my mommy!

Maybe I'm overreacting, but to me that's just a shitty "gift".

Ninjamama86 · August 2013

Be prepared: you're going to catch a whole lot of heat on here for this post, especially organizing your own shower.

You have been warned.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · August 2013

Yeah. I'm not really getting most if this.

rosandra25 · August 2013

I've only lived in this city for about a year, I've made no close friends. I don't speak with my SIL much and just recently I posted about my BIL girlfriend cheating on him so I couldn't possibly count on her. My H wanted a baby shower with his side of the family, so we decided we could do it. If people don't like that, well that's just too bad.

Kfran84 · August 2013

Okkkk.....

Well, based on your MIL's reaction of providing plates and calling that her gift, I think this is going to be a huge bust. Good luck with that.

michrocc · August 2013

Be grateful you're having a shower, and a second one at that. You won't get any sympathy from me complaining about how you aren't getting good gifts, and the whole "my mom bought me more" thing is coming across as super bratty.

That's just me.

rosandra25 · August 2013

I really don't mean to come off as bratty. Just hearing my MIL say that I was like seriously. It's not even about the gifts. It's just the fact that she wants the gift to be plates. It could be a Pair of socks and I'd be happy.

Chargersgrl33 · August 2013

I really don't feel sorry for you. You sound gift grabby and ungrateful. Why are others responsible for buying you things?

SV917 · August 2013

Selfish mothers-to-be these days. Make me LOL.

You keep saying it's not about gifts, and yet you are throwing yourself a shower.

dnt27 · August 2013

Maybe your MIL can't afford to buy you something big, so she's doing her best and buying you something that will help since your making a fuss about a baby shower. You sound self centered and gift grabby to me.

ETA word

Kfran84 · August 2013

rosandra25 said:

I really don't mean to come off as bratty. Just hearing my MIL say that I was like seriously. It's not even about the gifts. It's just the fact that she wants the gift to be plates. It could be a Pair of socks and I'd be happy.

I doubt this. I think you'd be outraged if all your MIL bought was a pair of socks for your LO. Be for real.

artistlife · August 2013

Yeah, um, having a shower is not a requirement. Showers are gifts. I get that you want to celebrate your baby, but it really sounds like you are being ungrateful for what you have been offered. Your family is throwing you a shower, but that's not enough. You need a second shower. And that's not enough either. You need people to buy you gifts instead of buying items that will help you with your celebration. SMH.

Lindsayloring1 · August 2013

I don't even have the energy to respond the way I want to on this. Seriously, do not throw your own, be grateful and gracious for what you do receive, and move on. Also, please punctuate. This was a nearly impossible post to read. Good luck

keljackson · August 2013

everyone seems crabby today! LOL If I were you I would be like "what" thanks for the plates. I understand your DH wanting a shower/party for his side of the fam. If they aren't going to throw it for you and DH wants it, what are you going to do?!?!

rosandra25 · August 2013

keljackson said:
everyone seems crabby today! LOL If I were you I would be like "what" thanks for the plates. I understand your DH wanting a shower/party for his side of the fam. If they aren't going to throw it for you and DH wants it, what are you going to do?!?!

THANK YOU. The onlyyyy thing I've been trying to get across. And that I thought plates were a silly gift for her grandchild.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

rosandra25 · August 2013

wedding06 said:

keljackson said:
everyone seems crabby today! LOL If I were you I would be like "what" thanks for the plates. I understand your DH wanting a shower/party for his side of the fam. If they aren't going to throw it for you and DH wants it, what are you going to do?!?!
Then you don't have one. You don't think it is gift grabby to host your own?

Baby showers aren't just thrown so that people bring you gifts. They are also thrown to celebrate the baby and mommy to be. And a time for family to get together. Especially if the family is big. It's hard getting everyone together just because.

artistlife · August 2013

rosandra25 said:

everyone seems crabby today! LOL If I were you I would be like "what" thanks for the plates. I understand your DH wanting a shower/party for his side of the fam. If they aren't going to throw it for you and DH wants it, what are you going to do?!?!
Then you don't have one. You don't think it is gift grabby to host your own?
Baby showers aren't just thrown so that people bring you gifts. They are also thrown to celebrate the baby and mommy to be. And a time for family to get together. Especially if the family is big. It's hard getting everyone together just because.

If this is really how you feel, then why is it so bad that your MIL is providing plates? You are more concerned about the celebration right? All my mom was able to purchase when I had DS was a few outfits from a consignment shop. She probably spent less than your MIL will on plates. I didn't whine one bit. You know why? Because she did it out of the kindness of her heart. Not everyone can afford big ticket items and even if they can, they are not obligated to do so.

MMMiller · August 2013

I literally cannot believe you're throwing your own shower...if you want to have a party with your inlaws do it after the baby arrives. Maybe your mil is only buying paper goods for the shower because she is offended by the greediness.

SamanthaPo · August 2013

MMMiller said:

I literally cannot believe you're throwing your own shower...if you want to have a party with your inlaws do it after the baby arrives. Maybe your mil is only buying paper goods for the shower because she is offended by the greediness.

I agree completely!

Your H's family doesn't appear very excited about the baby like both of you are. I understand that you both are excited about LO, but throwing a shower for yourself isn't the way to go about this. If people want to get you gifts, they will. Whether you have a shower or not. Personally I would save my money hosting the shower and use it for other things, like a post baby celebration of some sort.

SV917 · August 2013

rosandra25 said:

everyone seems crabby today! LOL If I were you I would be like "what" thanks for the plates. I understand your DH wanting a shower/party for his side of the fam. If they aren't going to throw it for you and DH wants it, what are you going to do?!?!
Then you don't have one. You don't think it is gift grabby to host your own?
Baby showers aren't just thrown so that people bring you gifts. They are also thrown to celebrate the baby and mommy to be. And a time for family to get together. Especially if the family is big. It's hard getting everyone together just because.

A shower is a gift giving event. If you want a celebration of the baby, host a meet the baby party after s/he is born. You already have plates for such an event, so that's one less thing to worry about.

GopherBaby13 · August 2013

I would NEVER DREAM of throwing my own shower. It's so tacky and rude. My SO's mom (she calls me her daughter in law so maybe I should start calling her my MIL; I already think of her that way) is flying from FL to MN for my baby shower. The potential gift from her is the LAST thing on my mind. As I have mentioned on here before, I love her as if she is my own mom and I am just so incredibly grateful that she will even be able to come. That makes the whole shower for me. His family is more excited then mine is (my aunts are throwing me the shower) but they aren't throwing us a shower and that's ok. They cannot afford it.

Can someone please explain to me why so many women feel entitled to a baby shower? IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO HAVE A BABY, FOR FUCKSAKES!

mmm50 · August 2013

GopherBaby13 said:

I would NEVER DREAM of throwing my own shower. It's so tacky and rude. My SO's mom (she calls me her daughter in law so maybe I should start calling her my MIL; I already think of her that way) is flying from FL to MN for my baby shower. The potential gift from her is the LAST thing on my mind. As I have mentioned on here before, I love her as if she is my own mom and I am just so incredibly grateful that she will even be able to come. That makes the whole shower for me. His family is more excited then mine is (my aunts are throwing me the shower) but they aren't throwing us a shower and that's ok. They cannot afford it. Can someone please explain to me why so many women feel entitled to a baby shower? IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO HAVE A BABY, FOR FUCKSAKES!

Amen!! I don't get it either. Showers are a gift to you from the hostess. If no one throws one for you then you don't get one. And if one is thrown for you you should be grateful and appreciative of both the shower and any gifts you receive--- including if the "gift" is helping with supplies for the shower.

asratliff · August 2013

My in laws make a lot more money than my parents, yet my parents always do more for us. So I kinda understand where you're coming from. It's not about being selfish, but it is rather annoying to see my parents sacrifice so much to help DH and me. DH even talks about how much more my side of the family does for us, but it's always been that way and its just the way his family is. We would both be pretty annoyed to have his mom call some plastic silverware and plates a gift but that's because we know that it wouldn't be any financial hassle for her to do more. There's a difference between can't and won't. If she couldn't afford to help, then that would be when I would think its considered selfish of you.

jerseykate84 · August 2013

I totally understand. My feelings would be hurt too. If my MIL didn't have much $ I'd rather her get something sentimental for the baby, like a cute baby blanket (seriously could be like $5 at TJMaxx, totally doable) or make something. Its almost as if she isn't excited.

I get ya.

ballre1 · August 2013

While I agree that maybe the way she might have said that the plates were her baby gift might have seemed harsh, and I understand that your H wants to have a shower with his side, I don't get why you'd think they'd want to come or be excited about it if they didn't offer to throw you one to begin with? Yeah that would upset me too if it were my family, but you said yourself that you aren't really close to them so it doesn't seem that surprising that they aren't over the moon about this shower.

keljackson · August 2013

GopherBaby13 said:

I would NEVER DREAM of throwing my own shower. It's so tacky and rude. My SO's mom (she calls me her daughter in law so maybe I should start calling her my MIL; I already think of her that way) is flying from FL to MN for my baby shower. The potential gift from her is the LAST thing on my mind. As I have mentioned on here before, I love her as if she is my own mom and I am just so incredibly grateful that she will even be able to come. That makes the whole shower for me. His family is more excited then mine is (my aunts are throwing me the shower) but they aren't throwing us a shower and that's ok. They cannot afford it. Can someone please explain to me why so many women feel entitled to a baby shower? IT IS NOT A REQUIREMENT TO HAVE A BABY, FOR FUCKSAKES!

Gopherbaby- WOW you are sure worked up over a baby shower post! LOL

RELAX everyone! We are just talking about a shower .

GopherBaby13 · August 2013

Um, no. I have a potty mouth IRL and I love being able to finally use it here on TB. The capitalization was for emphasis. It just blows my mind that people would be so rude as to throw their own shower, especially when they are already getting a shower from someone else.

AnsbyGamber · August 2013

asratliff said:

My in laws make a lot more money than my parents, yet my parents always do more for us. So I kinda understand where you're coming from. It's not about being selfish, but it is rather annoying to see my parents sacrifice so much to help DH and me. DH even talks about how much more my side of the family does for us, but it's always been that way and its just the way his family is. We would both be pretty annoyed to have his mom call some plastic silverware and plates a gift but that's because we know that it wouldn't be any financial hassle for her to do more. There's a difference between can't and won't. If she couldn't afford to help, then that would be when I would think its considered selfish of you.

It isn't your extended family's job to do anything for your family. Your side may do a lot for your family and you should appreciate that, YH's side may do very little for your family, but you should still appreciate anything they do. Your family is your family and your responsibility. The fact that you expect a certain level of help or contribution from outside sources is what is causing your disappointment. Your expectations of other people's contributions to YOUR family should be 0. Anything above 0 should be appreciated.

Friendilina · August 2013

Ah !!!

MIL these days. Make me LOL

Re: MIL these days. Make me LOL

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