Caregiver changes feeding schedule?!

FunSizeCaroline · August 2013

I need a little (comfort) and advice: My LO is 4.5 months old and eats breast milk only (mostly breast fed but I work part time in which case I pump and she is bottle fed my breast milk). With me, she generally eats every 2.5 - 3.5 hours. If she fusses in between feedings it's because she either needs a little nap (she naps best laying down in her pack-n-play or crib), or she needs to be redirected, play-wise. Well, my mother in law watches her while I'm at work part time, and she feeds her every 1-2 hours, basically every time she gets fussy she pops the bottle in her mouth. So, she's changing the frequency in her feedings to the point she is only taking in 1-3 oz (with my husband she eats 4-5 oz just fine)! I don't know if it's bothering me more that her schedule is being changed up, or if it's something I should genuinely be concerned about? When I lightly mentioned that she goes 3 hours between feedings at home, my MOL practically jumped out of her skin exclaiming "She NEVER goes that long without eating, ever! Not while she's here!" They are also horrible at laying her down to nap (MOL loves to hold her and let her sleep on her, which is great except she doesn't sleep as long or as well). HELP ME.

kellyrn9956 · August 2013

4 months is an interesting time for eating. James would eat 2-5 ounces per feeding instead of his regular 6. He would then eat more frequently. It stressed me out that he was off schedule. But now at 5 months he's right back on track. She also may not love a bottle if she eats from the breast the majority of the time. Se might be more distracted during those feedings than when she is snuggled up at the breast and take less. All that being said, this is what makes family caregiving complicated. I have no qualms about telling my DCP what James needs and should do, and they make suggestions but never force anything. We dont have a personal relationship to protect. Not sure i could do that with my MIL. YOure in a bit of a pickle, but for your own sanity, if your LO seems happy, I'd let it go. At some point we have to trust our babies with their caregivers.

watermellens · August 2013

It sounds like overall she's not respecting your wishes for your LO's eating/sleeping - I'd have a talk with her (or have DH to it since it's his mother)

MrsRKJ · August 2013

MommyLizzy said:

my views on feeding schedules aside, I think she should respect your wishes. It's hard when family is the caregiver, you kinda feel like you can't tell them what to do KWIM?

When DS2 was a baby, my mother watched him. I found out she was giving him goats milk instead of formula behind my back, and flipped shit on her. She thinks formula is the devil. She said she stopped, but to this day I don't know if she actually did.

I wish I had better advice, but the only thing to do is be firm.

OMG I would have freaked too!

OP, I would just let MIL know that LO should be eating larger amounts every 3 to 4 hours as you originally discussed. If LO seems fussy and NOTHING ELSE is working, then maybe LO is a bit extra hungry - it shouldn't be the first thing you do to quell the fussiness (I learned that the hard way) Good luck

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