WWYD: Adults only wedding

supersarah77 · August 2013

DH's childhood friend is getting married Sept 7. It's a 1.5 hour drive away and the invitation says "Adults only." DD will be 2 months old at that time. DH wants to find someone to watch her but I feel totally uncomfortable with that. I would trust his parents but they're going too, and my parents are 2000 miles away. Friends all have their own kids and I kind of think their attention will be divided and they'll prioritize their own kids. We'dbe away for 5+ hours too. Plus I brought DD to a friends house this week for a play date and she was overstimulated and crying with all the noise and screaming her kids were doing. And I definitely wouldn't want a stranger watching her. I want to tell DH just to go alone but i worry I'm being overly cautious.

WWYD?

valstulas · August 2013

I think that if you're not ready to leave LO, then you shouldn't. No shame in skipping the wedding.

cuterusaurus · August 2013

valstulas said:
I think that if you're not ready to leave LO, then you shouldn't. No shame in skipping the wedding.

This

[Deleted User] · August 2013

The user and all related content has been deleted.

MRads · August 2013

You can call the couple and ask. It is their prerogative but often times exceptions will be made for young babies. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what we think. It matters how comfortable you are. And if you aren't comfortable, skip it.

je2161 · August 2013

I wouldn't go.

MrandMrsFireFighter · August 2013

I'm in a similar situation. We have a wedding Sept 20, when the baby is exactly 2 months old. I've known the groom my whole life, but its really our parents that are very close. Just the ceremony and dinner would keep me away from him about 5 hours. I'm leaning towards not attending.

dontgiveupnomatterwhat · August 2013

Please DO NOT CALL AND ASK the bride or groom. That is in poor taste. Sorry to the PP who said to do this, but they have asked for no kids for a reason.
Like some of the PPs said, if you aren't comfortable enough to leave your baby, then you probably shouldn't. You will go and just be worried the whole time if you do leave the baby. So, skip it. Your husband should understand or respect your feelings on this.

Pink724 · August 2013

^^ agreed. It puts them in an awkward situation. No kids means no kids. If they wanted to make an exception, they would let you know.

Mrs JillB · August 2013

Yeah, please don't call the bride and groom. No kids means no kids.

Stina2012 · August 2013

To be fair, it is in terrible taste for them to have put that on the invitation. The addressee of the invitations envelope should indicate who is invited.

[Deleted User] · August 2013

I have a wedding coming up in September but my mom will be watching my LO and I'm comfortable with that. If you aren't comfortable leaving LO, don't go:)

sparkymcgeee · August 2013

I would find a babysitter and go to the wedding. But I never understood the hermit/can't leave my baby thing.

supersarah77 · August 2013

Thanks for your input, ladies. I think I'm going to stay home with DD this time. I wish it wasn't adults only, we've brought her to another wedding and other functions and had a great time. We started her on a bottle at one month and have been able to leave her with family several times for hours but this time they're all attending. So, with the situation as it is, and given that DH is much closer with the groom than me, I feel best sitting this one out.

MRads · August 2013

Apparently I have bad advice, lol. I feel like when I was on TK people would say they were having adults only, except for young babies and I guess I never really thought through the logistics on how those people would know their babies could come. But, I can definitely see how asking the bride and groom would put them in a bad position.

supersarah77 · August 2013

MRads said:
Apparently I have bad advice, lol. I feel like when I was on TK people would say they were having adults only, except for young babies and I guess I never really thought through the logistics on how those people would know their babies could come. But, I can definitely see how asking the bride and groom would put them in a bad position.

My friend gave the exact same advice as you did. She had an adults only wedding due to the danger of a water feature, but non-mobile infants were welcome, so she suggested we ask. We really thought about it but DH worried it might put his friend in an awkward position, especially because the bride is completely stressed and this might make her freak out and therefor make the groom's life more challenging. It's true she is a basket case in general.

beckyanddon · August 2013

valstulas said:
I think that if you're not ready to leave LO, then you shouldn't. No shame in skipping the wedding.

This

PrimRoseMama · August 2013

valstulas said:

I think that if you're not ready to leave LO, then you shouldn't. No shame in skipping the wedding.

Agree.

YellowLily2013 · August 2013

We took lo to a wedding when he was 9 days old and I wore him. I am in the same position for a friends wedding sept 21st... I kind of want to ask if it includes non mobile infants as well.. But haven't broached that subject yet.

I think one of the main reasons is if its a plated dinner. Who wants to pay the much per head for a kid who will eat 3 bites?!!

But if your wearing an infant and respectful to leave the room if he fusses. I doubt he's a problem.

But we are planning on having my mom watch my lo because alone time with DH will be good! He'll be 3 months so older than your lo. We are actually trying to contemplate an all night thing or not. Probably not but well see!

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