Telling the fam in text

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

I have the least supportive family in the whole world. And I can be extra sensitive and kind of a cry baby (I'll own up to it) How terrible would it be for me to text my mom a picture of DD that says Big Sister and not tell her in person. She'll probably be ticked like she was the last time and lecture me like she did the last time if tell her in person or over the phone. I'm a married woman and I know this is my decision and not even a bad one, but even though I am an adult and should not be, I'm kind of scared of my mother.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

See, I feel no problem texting my father, we also have an estranged relationship. But my mom I actually talk to her nearly everyday. I know i should just say hey mom, Emersyn is gonna be a sister, but I can't seem to do it. It's probably just me, being crazy but I can't stand it when my mom doesn't approve of something I do.

nikki912 · August 2013

I think you should bite the bullet and tell her in a way she will approve of. The ONLY reason I say this is because I have a very immature mother who i have to cater to a lot and when I don't for whatever (legitimate) reason I end up regretting it. Her behavior afterwards would always make me wish I had just done what she wanted so I could avoid a fight and the stress and tears.

However that's my situation! If you feel strong enough to stand up for what you want to do, you should definitely do it!

LittleLady77 · August 2013

As long as you know it's not the appropriate thing to do and can be considered rude, go ahead. I choose to be rude to people every now and then, although not usually my mother. You are a big girl, you know the reprocusions... If you still want to tell her by text go for it.

thumper11 · August 2013

Why not wait awhile? Do you plan on telling others soon? I'd wait until the day before you announce it wherever and then tell her. My best advice (take it or leave it) is say "Mom, I love you. I cherish our relationship and I'm so excited to tell you that Emersyn is going to be a big sister!" And when and IF she starts lecturing say, "I respect what you have to say, mom. But I'm a grown woman and don't need a lecture." Tell her you love her again and leave. That's what I would do!! GL!

Avion22 · August 2013

If you don't get along with your mother, and are even considering texting her, then I don't understand why you'd do it with a cutesy picture. Why not just say, "Mom, I'm pregnant"?

I agree that a text might not be best, but I don't really know what your relationship with her is like.

thomas930 · August 2013

My grandparents, who up until 4 months ago, I was very close with, will be finding out through facebook whenever I post it there. They will not be happy that I didn't call them but they are the ones that decided to be extremely hurtful after my miscarriage so that's all I feel they are entitled to. It's your decision what you do but if she already wont approve of the method you are considering and you are trying to keep the peace, then you may just want to tell her over the phone or in person.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

thumper11 said:

Why not wait awhile? Do you plan on telling others soon? I'd wait until the day before you announce it wherever and then tell her. My best advice (take it or leave it) is say "Mom, I love you. I cherish our relationship and I'm so excited to tell you that Emersyn is going to be a big sister!" And when and IF she starts lecturing say, "I respect what you have to say, mom. But I'm a grown woman and don't need a lecture." Tell her you love her again and leave. That's what I would do!! GL!

My husband told his ENTIRE family. Which gives me limited time to tell her before the word gets out on FB, but, I've pretty much decided I'm just gonna text her, she told me my grandfather had a tumor through text, so I think it's less rude than that.

thumper11 · August 2013

ashtonblair123 said:

thumper11 said:

Why not wait awhile? Do you plan on telling others soon? I'd wait until the day before you announce it wherever and then tell her. My best advice (take it or leave it) is say "Mom, I love you. I cherish our relationship and I'm so excited to tell you that Emersyn is going to be a big sister!" And when and IF she starts lecturing say, "I respect what you have to say, mom. But I'm a grown woman and don't need a lecture." Tell her you love her again and leave. That's what I would do!! GL!

My husband told his ENTIRE family. Which gives me limited time to tell her before the word gets out on FB, but, I've pretty much decided I'm just gonna text her, she told me my grandfather had a tumor through text, so I think it's less rude than that.

Then if it works for you, go for it! GL!

NicoleAnne416 · August 2013

Everyone's relationships with their family are different so ultimately it's up to you to decide what's best. Good luck! I'm a bit terrified to tell my own mom. Our two kids are older now (7 and 5) and no one expects us to have any more kids. Oh well, it's not her life.

christina627 · August 2013

It was really hard to tell my mom with my first. I made sure I was surrounded by friends and then told her. She came around quickly and was more excited with my 2nd, but it was still painful telling her the first time. I would just tell her over the phone. Now my sister will be hearing by general announcement to the world, bc she has been so incredibly hurtful to me and will probably continue to be. I will always leave the door open to having a relationship, but she will no longer be getting treated like she is special.

ashtonblair123 · August 2013

I told her, she was upset at first but she's already come around to it. Now she said "can I name this one? If you let me name it, I'll forgive you." And she says she's sad because she didn't get more time with just her and Emersyn. The rest of my family, have not come around, but they will eventually. Thanks for your input!

RedDawnsRevenge · August 2013

That's exactly what we did and then waited to see how observant everyone is.

sueann911 · August 2013

ashtonblair123 said:
I told her, she was upset at first but she's already come around to it. Now she said "can I name this one? If you let me name it, I'll forgive you." And she says she's sad because she didn't get more time with just her and Emersyn.

The rest of my family, have not come around, but they will eventually. Thanks for your input!

Holy crap. I don't even know what to say to that.

Sorry you have to deal with that.

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