April 2014 Moms

Am I too young??

I'm 20 years old and this my first pregnancy. My gran makes me feel like I've ruined my life and all of this negativity is just making me feel so bad. Anyone else feeling like this?

Re: Am I too young??

  • I echo what the PP said. Some people are very mature at 20 and others don't grow up until much later. Most of the women in my family had their first kids when they were 18-21 and they were all great moms. Heck, back in the day most people started having kids as teens and they did just fine. You will be forced to "grow up" sooner, but being a mom is the best thing in the world.
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  • TMVGTMVG member
    Having a child certainly won't ruin your life - it will open it up to many more possibilities - especially on the loving and relationship side of things. So many amazing things await you with this child. Don't let someone else's negativity get you down. Enjoy it! And, congrats!
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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    I was 20 when I got pregnant with DD. She's obviously still living and I didn't ruin my life. In fact, I still worked and went to school. Don't let people bring you down. I know tons of moms who had babies even before I did (I was one of the last ones in my graduating class) and they've done a great job with their kids. 
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  • I got pregnant with my first at 20. I was married, living on our own and she was planned. My family was the same way. They'll get used to the idea. Becoming a mother is the greatest gift! Congratulations!
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  • It really doesn't matter if anyone else thinks you're too young. Some would definitely say yes, others would say no. It's not like you can change your mind now, right? Now it's just up to you to be the best mom you can be (and don't let your grandma get to you) :-) And when your kid is in high school, you won't even be 40 yet. I think that's pretty awesome.
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  • This is so sad to me. After moving out of the country, I realize that having kids young in America is demonized so much! You can do whatever you want! It may be quite different when you have a child, but its all possible. Stay strong!! :-D
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  • Thank you all for your lovely comments!
    My boyfriend is 100% in all of this he's actually been wanting a baby but I wasn't quiet ready yet.
    I guess now I have to be! I'm actually quiet excited but it kills me to know that my gran isn't happy about this. Why I care so much? Bcos she's basically like my mom. Hopefully she'll be okay with it soon
  • I had my first baby at 20. I didn't marry her father but we were/are fine! I have my degree, own my own company and I'm married with 2 step kids and twins on the way. You, your SO and your baby will be fine!!

    And your body will bounce back quicker!! Lol :) I'm 31 now and remembering how great I felt after I delivered!! I'm wishing you and your family nothing but great things!!! Stay positive and the negativity roll off your back!!
  • Don't compare yourself to others. This is your life. Babies are blessing from God. Trust that your life's plan is happening in Gods perfect timing. Ps-when our bodies start menstruating, it's a sign our body is ready to reproduce. Our society is so different these days. People use to have children way younger than now a days. Neither is better than the other. Everyone is different.
  • Congratulations to all of the young and experienced mommy-to-bes!!! Young or not, you will figure it out and be a great mommy!!!!
  • I'm 20 years old and this my first pregnancy. My gran makes me feel like I've ruined my life and all of this negativity is just making me feel so bad. Anyone else feeling like this?
    I`m 22 and TTC since I was 20. My oppinion is that everyone is free to have a baby when they feel ready. At 20 or 40 years, it`s different for everyone.
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  • Well I'm 19 am I too young I have yet to tell my parents yet I just don't know the right way
  • I'm 20 and pregnant with my first, you're not too young! There are all different levels of maturity levels. As for me, I'm on the more mature end, all my friends are worried about is what bar they're going to tonight.. All that honestly matters is that you and your boyfriend are happy. Everyone else may just need some time for the news to settle in, trust me. Once that baby comes they'll be all over him. I hope everything works out for you :)
  • if you feel ready, then you're aren't too young. but it doesn't matter anyway bc you're already pregnant, and getting upset isn't going to v change the circumstances. might as well make the best of it. not to mention I'll be 27 in a few months, and financially we have no business having a baby and weren't planning on having one for at least a few more years. God had another plan though and you just have to roll with it.

    ps- not implying you didn't plan this, etc. just giving you an example of age and readiness. praying things ease up with your grandma
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  • If it makes u feel better I'm married and I'll be 29 in two weeks and my mom told me last week (before she knew I was pregnant) that I should wait a few years for kids, and live a little! I almost cried ! So family sometimes just wants what they think is best not what we want. Live your own life and hopefully everyone will accept it. My mom is thrilled now and hasn't said anything since. Good luck!
  • I was 20 when I had my first and sadly I let others' judgement get to me and it almost made me ashamed to be pregnant at that age. However as soon as DD was born I could never have been ashamed of the beautiful gift that life had given me and I said to hell with what people think. I've never felt that I have ruined my life and never regretted my daughter. Now at 25 I'm expecting our second child. Keep your chin up and be proud that you are a mom to be to a little miracle!
  • Julyce12 said:
    Well I'm 19 am I too young I have yet to tell my parents yet I just don't know the right way

    I'm 22, married and pregnant with our second. And I don't know the right way. Some families are just that type of family, I think.
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  • I was 21, still partially dependent on my parents, and unwed. It's tough, but I'm so much happier with the person I became than the person I was, all because of DS. My life was enriched, not ruined.
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  • I'm 23, married, and pregnant with #2.  You only know what's best for you and your future family.  I personally don't think you are too young, but I don't know you personally :) 
  • I was 20 with my first. Focus on being a great mom and keep all positive relationships in your life, especially during your pregnancy so that they remain there after. It's hard, but it's hard for a first time mom at any age. I cried a lot. Still do sometimes. But I would not change what the experience of being a young mom has taught me. Becoming a parent means sacrifices, but being a young parent may mean making more. That may be your grandmother's fear. Don't let thinking about what you are missing out on or jealousy of others take over. Focus on being a great mother so that when you look back on that time, it's without regret and it's a feeling of pride.

    Mom to Emma, Noah, Isaac, Asa, Asher, Jonah and expecting baby Alice 7/16


     



  • Is it going to be harder for you being 20 and not very stable than it would be for someone who's older, with a solid relationship, good job, and savings? Honestly? Yes, probably.
    But your life and your baby's life are what you make of them. You can be successful and still go after what you want in life. I hope you get the support of your family because that will help a lot.
    Good luck to you!

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  • Friends of ours got pregnant at 21 and 24. She had just finished college and he was finishing law school. They are doing great! They had a second baby 2 or 3 years later and their lives were enriched by their children. Was it harder for them to start their careers with a baby? Of course but it didn't ruin their careers. I hope that your gram's unsupportive words motivate you to prove her wrong.
    When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.
  • My mom got pregnant with my sister (she's the oldest) at 21 years old.  My sister got pregnant at 22 years old with her daughter and I'm pregnant at 23 years old.  Yes, we were all married, but that doesn't matter.  If your boyfriend is 100% supportive and you both love each other then that's all that matters.  It is possible and IMO, it's great!  My mom and dad were both so active with us as children and adults, because they had us young. I can't wait to be an active mom with my kids too and 2 of my friends are actually pregnant right now (same age) so our LO's will grow up together!

     

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  • I think it depends on your situation and regardless of your situation you are going to have ppl judge you.  Here's a story that still bugs me.  I was 23 when I had my first.  We went to register at BRU with my DH and my mom (we'd been married over a year when we got pregnant).  The lady registering us took my information (including my birthdate) and started commenting on how I was SOO young to be having a baby and too young.  Then she never gave me the coupons and gift bag that everyone else got when registering, bc she was TOO busy.  DH and I looked like we may have been teens, but she had my birthdate so she had to know I was in my twenties and she was incredibly rude.  And then I had ppl looking for a ring on my finger wherever I went when I was rocking the big bump.  That didn't happen as much with my 2nd, but it made me feel bad with my first.
  • No ma'am you aren't too young. I used to think the same thing. I got pregnant with my first at 20, it's a life changing experience but totally worth it. Here I am at 29 I went back to school, have a good job and pregnant with baby three. It's your life sweetheart choose your own path.
  • 20 is a good age.I was 18,21 and now expecting again at 27.as long as you're stable you'll be fine.dnt let negative people influence you.don't let them stress you or your baby out.you're already pregnant so they can deal with it or you can push them to the side.your gran will accept it eventually just give her some time.you'll be a great mom
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