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Blended Families
Holly_1007
member
BM overstepped (loss mentioned)
Holly_1007
member
DH and BM had a meeting set up this morning to discuss a few things: getting SD into some counseling, transportation, and going over SD's school calendar/ holiday schedule. DH's gram passed away last night so DH texted BM this morning:
DH: Hey, just giving you a heads up we are going to have to reschedule our meeting, sorry about the last minute, my Gram passed away last night.
BM: That is fine. What have you told SD? Can I call and talk to her
DH: I haven't said anything yet, still working through everything myself. That's fine, call my cell
So BM get's on the phone with SD: "Hi SD, how was your night? How did you sleep?" SD: "Good" BM: "So daddy's grammy died, huh? That's sad"
SD just looked at DH puzzled and said, "uh, what?" and DH took the phone and went outside and flipped on BM. This is the first time DH has EVER initiated a fight between the two of them. I can't even believe BM said that. Of course it initiated all sorts of questions from SD. Fortunately she hasn't really had to deal with loss in her life, so this is unfamiliar territory to all of us. I answered them the best I could, but I consider myself agnostic, DH is Baptist, so we have differing views. It has definitely been an interesting morning in our house.
Oh, and Typically, we don't hear the conversations between the SD and BM, SD usually goes in her room. We don't tell her to, we just let her do what she is comfortable with and this morning she felt like staying in the kitchen to talk. BM was talking VERY loudly. (intentionally? IDK) I'm just so mad at this woman right now.
If you could keep my family in your thoughts as we work through this I would greatly appreciate it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BM overstepped (loss mentioned)
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
As for BM, how unbelievably insensitive! Not to mention cruel! I can't recall your backstory, but is this kind of thing normal for her to do? Oh my goodness, I don't even think I could formulate intelligent words to express the feelings that would be going through more after that. I don't think that could be taken any way other than intentional.
DH and I approach death as part of life when dealing with the kids, and ourselves really. It's ok to be sad because you miss them, but it is all part of living and nothing to be afraid of. I hope the way the news came to her didn't hurt her too much.
I am so sorry for DH's loss. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
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thank you for the suggestion, that is the route we ended up going with the conversation, it just caught us off guard, we hadnt really had a chance to discuss anything. plus our 3.5 yr old ended up getting involved in the conversation and he is pretty sensitive. we are just having some emotional struggles right now.
thank you all for the kind words!