BTDT: Newborn Care Tips?

KMD1106 · August 2013

As more and more of the September ladies are having their babies, I'm getting more nervous about taking care of a newborn. I thought it might be nice for us FTMs to get some tips from BTDT moms about newborn care. I can read all the books I want, but I like hearing about it from real moms who have BTDT. Some things I'm unsure of are:

-Feeding

-Sleeping

-Going out of the house

-Bathing

My mind drew a blank, but I'm sure there is a TON more to newborn care that I'm not thinking of right now. Any tips would be appreciated!

ETA: @L&R70707 This might be a good one to pin at the top for ladies to read as their babies are born.

DaisyZH · August 2013

Feeding - I planned on breastfeeding but was unable to. My lactation consultant was wonderful, definitely take advantage of any help that your hospital can give you but don't beat yourself up if you end up using formula. Sleeping - My best tip is to differentiate between day and night, at night feelings and changes keep the light low, avoid a ton of eye contact (our nurse said it's super stimulating to newborns) and keep talking and noise to a minimum. Know that someday you will get sleep again, even if it doesn't seem like it. Going out of the house - Do it! Even if it feels impossible the more you practice the easier it will get. My first time grocery shopping with DS I locked my keys in the car and had to have AAA come and help me - I never did that again! Bathing - If you have a boy put a washcloth over his penis, DS would pee straight up in the air every bath! ETA - Ugh sorry for the format, I can't get it to paragraph on iPad

HeatherMc78 · August 2013

This is my third time...I am not sure if you are bf or formula feeding. Either way it really helps to keep track of what time the baby feeds. I formula feed so I also keep track of how many onces. If you notice the baby is starting to cry sooner for a bottle, it is time to increase the ounces. Always talk to the pediatrician before switching formulas. Sleeping- greatest tips I got were from my mom and mil. When baby is sleeping have background noise. Don't shhh people. If the baby gets used to sleeping through noise. You will be able to do things like eat at a restaurant and the baby may be able to sleep through the meal. Also, if the baby is sleeping in your room. Put him/her in their nursery for at least one nap. It helped my boys transition.
Going out of the house- it literally takes a village and planning. If you know in advance that you have somewhere to go, I would stock diaper bag. Make sure I had enough bottles, the formula dispenser filled, bottled water to mix it, diapers, wipes and extra clothes. If I had errands to run, I would do it right after a feeding. It would buy me about 2or 3 hours. They ususally would sleep through it. You learn by trial and error.
Bathing- the nurses show you how to bathe the baby in the hospital. That's perfect time to ask lots of questions. You don't bathe a baby every day. Their skin dries out.
I hope that helps. Good Luck with your LO

SweetPeaK26 · August 2013

If you have a girl there will be a bunch of thick white discharge in her lady bits. Don't go crazy cleaning it all out right away. It's a sensitive area. At the hospital they told us it would work itself out, the pedi told us to clean it good around 2 weeks. This is a weird thing that is probably different or everyone and everyone hears differently what they are supposed to do.

I didn't have any issue clipping their nails.

Dot worry about putting them on a sleep schedule. It will take a few months, but they will get into their own patterns, and then you can start to plan things around their patterns. From doing that, they will further establish their pattern into an actual schedule.

Spare diapers and essentials in the car.

Plan to take meds with you!

If your baby does ok with out being swaddled, then just don't do it. It will be less of a hassle to go through the unswaddle process later. We only swaddled on nights when dd2 was really super restless or upset. Dd1 hated it so much that even the NICU nurses couldn't keep her in a swaddle.

Same with pacifiers.

KMD1106 · August 2013

These are great tips! I appreciate the input!

mslove03 · August 2013

I am loving the discussion. I say pin, please.

jlbhz2275 · August 2013

Beware of that first trip out the house. Ours was to the drs office and we were 45 mins late. It takes so long to get out the house for that first trip.

The first set of shots is horrible. Baby will scream bloody murder and it is heart breaking. Our pediatrician always encouraged BF after shots to soothe baby and we just stayed put until she calmed down. Be prepared to not leave right after the apt is over.

Do get out of the house when you can. A BFing baby has the highest immunity in the first 6 weeks. Go run errands, hit the park for a stroll or go to a restaurant on a date with hubby and don't be afraid to bring baby. They will likely sleep the entire time anyway. Leave them in the carrier and you will be surprised how most people will look but won't touch, just be ready to say please don't touch.

I had two boppy pillows, one for each level of the house. I never had to bother with going to the other floor to get it. Also changing "station" on both levels of the house.

Swaddle only at night, It helped our baby distinguish between night and day she started sleeping in 5hrs stretches at night by the time she was week old. We never swaddled during the day and she would take shorter naps during the day and longer at night. during the day, keep it bright and normal noise and at night as dim and quiet as possible.

If you are BF, MOM means Maker of Milk and you will certainly feel like that is all you do, but you will get through it and it will get better! You are the only one who can BF, so you take care of baby and everyone else should be taking care of you! I was always starving after bf for the first few weeks. So when I sat down to feed baby someone was in charge of making me a snack too.

The house work can wait SERIOUSLY, sleep when baby sleeps! You will be sleep deprived all the while your body is trying to recover from birth and nourish baby all at the same time. You need to sleep. Order take out, have someone else do the laundry, and cleaning and stock up on paper plates before hand and let the rest go.

Put the nail clippers behind the nail and hold it against the back of the nail and squeeze from the top only, you can't cut baby that way, or just get the mini nail files

Take the bulb snot sucker from the hospital, you will never find a better one!

The cord can take weeks and I mean up to 6 weeks to fall off. Clean q tips and leave it alone otherwise.

Try to shower at least once a day, you laugh but seriously there will be many days you don't get one.

Not all baby powder is talc free! Seriously this day in age! So make sure you read the label and buy the cornstarch type. If you plan to use it, use it sparingly and do your best not to make a "cloud"

Do NOT be afraid to ask people to wash their hands before handling baby. I promise you no one who cares about you or baby will think you are silly or unreasonable.

Don't wake a baby to change a pee diaper, only change a poop diaper while sleeping.

I'm sure people won't agree with me on this but please don't bounce baby up and down after feeding. People feed babies and then bounce them up and down or jiggle them to soothe and wonder why they throw up, spit up. Try a gentle sway back and forth instead if you feel the need to use movement. I certainly wouldn't like to eat then go off roading down a bumpy road, and I don't have a sensitive stomach like a new baby does.

noelani42 · August 2013

Very helpful! Definitely pin!!

Lbear8 · August 2013

While breast feeding was the best time for us to clip nails, she was so distracted that it was easy to do

SweetPeaK26 · August 2013

Definitely agree with bathing with baby! So much less stressful and more comfortable for everyone!

Violet1372 · August 2013

This had a ton of fantastic information in it! Thank you so much ladies for sharing with us!!

ldkittel · August 2013

I'm sure people won't agree with me on this but please don't bounce baby up and down after feeding. People feed babies and then bounce them up and down or jiggle them to soothe and wonder why they throw up, spit up. Try a gentle sway back and forth instead if you feel the need to use movement. I certainly wouldn't like to eat then go off roading down a bumpy road, and I don't have a sensitive stomach like a new baby does

I can't get out of the quote box, but I completely agree with this!! I see it all the time and it just makes feel so bad for the baby!

Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom everyone!

sallywacket · August 2013

I agree with a much here. Great advice!
Check out your library for Happiest Baby on the Block. Even in our tiny town of 1,000 people we had it. Free and you don't really need to go back and watch it again IMO.

LBib · August 2013

Sleeping: If you cosleep, put a nightlight in your room. Infants are noisy when sleeping, a white noise machine may help drown out baby grunts. Sleep gowns are awesome. Try not to harm DH in the middle of the night when you are feeding and he is sleeping. If nursing, have DH pickup and change LO, before handing him or her to you to nurse. It may make you feel better 20 minutes later when he has been snoring for the last 15 minutes and you are still trying to finish nursing.

Eating: food prep for you and your solid eating family in stages throughout the day. I.e, chop during breakfast, sauté during morning nap, clean and cut meat during lunch, etc. DH may be more effective at burping than you. Cover your nursing pillow with spit up cloths to avoid having to wash the cover as frequently and catch drips. If your breasts are small, Iike A or small B, nursing supplies may not fit well. I could never get nursing pads to work for me. Learn how to hand express. After pumping, try to hand express the last little bit of milk left in each nipple.

Cleaning: accept help whenever offered. Use baskets to store baby clothing to avoid having to replicate your nesting-perfect clothing organization system. If storing clothes for future LOs, organize clothing via true size and not tag size.

AnjaO · August 2013

Definitely use those million receiving blankets you got at your baby shower to cover the nursing pillow! I learned that one quickly!

My $0.02:

Repack the diaper bag when you get home from somewhere. It definitely cuts down on the getting-out-of-the-house time! And if you don't, you might end up having your husband drop your kid off at your office with a major blow out and no outfit changes or even blankets...

Also, no one knows what they're doing, so try not to feel like a failure or fraud. Do what feels right for you and your family. If your baby is safe, fed, and loved, you're doing a good job.

averettgirl · August 2013

I'm 33 weeks and a FTM so suffice to say as my due date gets closer I'm becoming more and more terrified lol. All the advice you ladies have given is incredible and much appreciated! For example, I never would have thought about taking a bath with my baby to make it easier on her but it sounds like a great idea that I will definitely be trying. Thanks everyone! :-)

Zmommy2 · August 2013

Well this just brought back so many memories!! I second the poster who said don't dwell on remarks that are said in the middle of the night.. Especially if your husband complains about "waking up" when he then just rolls over and you're then up for an hour or more feeding, changing, etc... I might be a little bitter. Anyway..

My number one piece of advice would be, especially if you have people staying with you to help... Let them help!! Feed the baby and hand it off and take a nap, let them cook for you, let them shop for yoy, let them clean. Even if it's not the way you would personally do things, let go of the control, or the idea that they are your guest, and let them do it. Don't feel bad taking a nap while you have "guests" etc.. Take advantage of it because they're going to leave and you'll be wishing you napped every day while you could have.

PrettyInPearls23 · August 2013

AnjaO said:

My $0.02:

Repack the diaper bag when you get home from somewhere. It definitely cuts down on the getting-out-of-the-house time! And if you don't, you might end up having your husband drop your kid off at your office with a major blow out and no outfit changes or even blankets...

This is exactly what I was going to post. I found out very quickly that re-stocking the diaper bag after coming home from an outing was SUCH a timesaver when it came to leaving the house the next time around.

curlyq625 · August 2013

This is all great advice, I found little remedies nail clippers worked the best and they are still my go to for DS.
Two things that really scared me was what a freshly circumsised penis looks like, be prepared for it to look painful and raw. We were told to keep it covered in Vaseline so that it doesn't stick to the diaper. I found the Vaseline in a tube was much easier to use then in a tub. The 2nd was when his umbilical cord came off around 10 days pp. it was oozing, which made me think it was infected. The dr assured us its very normal to see discharge from the belly button until it heals fully, and with in a week it was completely healed and looked great. Those are two things that really stuck out to me in the first few weeks home.

tittytwistertortoises · August 2013

I have always been a person that wants the next thing and not one to enjoy the moment but since my wedding, I have made a point to enjoy the moment and make a memory.
My biggest suggestion is to take in the moments. Like actually mentally make a choice to make it a memory. The days can fly and blur together but I can remember rocking DS and holding him close to my chest, closing my eyes and focussing on how great the memory is. When I reflect today, I can still feel it like it was yesterday. Make it point to make memories. Take it all in. They won't be babies for ever and this too shall pass.

lifeissweet0703 · August 2013

All great advise so wont add to the sleeping/feeding etc...

Sing to your little one... Yes it feels awkward at first but it comes in handy especially in the car when you can't reach them. Or anytime they are mildly fussy (bum changes, bathing, etc.) Seems silly and simple but really can be a lifesaver at times.

Lga1224 · August 2013

This is great! Thanks to everyone for their advice!

sequoiasky · August 2013

My best advice is that everything is a stage, take a deep breath, don't stress and keep moving forward. Take the mantras "this is just a stage" or "this too shall pass" and repeat them as much as you need too.

Baby confuses day and night- no problem, do your best, but know it is a stage they do grow out of. Baby cries every night, it sucks, do your best and know that it won't last forever. Baby is waking up 10 times a night, fall asleep at the breast, poops 20 times a day Etc..etc..etc...It will pass, it is a stage.. do your best and try not to stress.

If you have a tough baby, or a colic baby.. just take a deep breath and love your baby with all your heart. It will pass, if you baby has colic- your job isn't to make the baby not cry- it is to be there, be loving and to get through it as a family- a team. Take 15 minute shifts with your partner, dance with your baby, run with them, find whatever works- take a deep breath and know that it passes.

Let your husband/partner help, let them find their own way and have their own style of care with baby, be a team and love each other.... laugh through the hard times... it goes by quickly and you'll want to look back with fondness and let it bring you closer.

KMD1106 · August 2013

@sequoiasky I love what you wrote. It made me tear up a bit. I will definitely try to remember the mantra, "This too shall pass."

Gcrebel2006 · August 2013

Tons of great information here!

I would just like to add that when my dd was a NB she would have crying spells that were almost inconsolable. I learned quickly that sometimes, a simple change of environment would immediately calm her down. There were many times that simply taking her out for a walk around the yard in the infant carrier soothed her wonderfully and put her right to sleep!

SweetPeaK26 · August 2013

I'll also add, you have your way of doing things, dh will have his. Try not to be too critical of his ways, even if you've done all the research. Pick your battles, because if what he is doing is working for him, and not HARMING the baby, then telling him how to do it will only make him feel like he is not an equal parent.

MallardDucky · August 2013

Do not be afraid to ask for help

Juliebird8307 · August 2013

SweetPeaK26 said:

I'll also add, you have your way of doing things, dh will have his. Try not to be too critical of his ways, even if you've done all the research. Pick your battles, because if what he is doing is working for him, and not HARMING the baby, then telling him how to do it will only make him feel like he is not an equal parent.

I need to remember that one. I'm such a perfectionist that I can see myself critiquing everything that he does.

GoyaBean913 · August 2013

Juliebird8307 said:

SweetPeaK26 said:

I'll also add, you have your way of doing things, dh will have his. Try not to be too critical of his ways, even if you've done all the research. Pick your battles, because if what he is doing is working for him, and not HARMING the baby, then telling him how to do it will only make him feel like he is not an equal parent.

I need to remember that one. I'm such a perfectionist that I can see myself critiquing everything that he does.

Same here. Definitely something I have to be mindful of.

4Angel5 · August 2013

Always strive to figure out what works best for you. After DD1, I wasn't as good at writing all of her firsts down, but I learned with my 3rd that writing everything down doesn't mean you have to get it in the baby book immediately. I kept a small notebook half the size of a regular one in the diaper bag or at my nursing station and began jotting down changes in demeanor, giggles, coos, smiles here and there. I didn't capture everything, but similar to a pp, captured key memories. My 3rd child's "firsts" are captured directly into a calendar small enough to carry around. And when I came across that notebook, it stirred up so many wonderful memories. It has been a few years, but I feel like I captured enough A material to create a good baby book for him, even though I didn't do a good job of organizing it in a baby book initially. My point for FTMs is that you can find a way to capture baby book memories and firsts without spending hours using a baby book while you're tired and need rest, and apply the philosophy of what works for me to as many situations as possible...

SeptMommyX2 · August 2013

1. I used Lansinoh and Medela lanolin ointments during the first few weeks while breastfeeding. Then, DS and I were faced with thrush (painful) and I found out that the lanolin could be contributing to the yeast growth. After a ton of research and a call to the pediatrician, I decided to switch over to expeller pressed coconut oil (food-grade from Whole Foods). BEST decision ever! Not only did the thrush not return, but it worked wonders on DS's cradle cap, baby acne, and dry skin. One of those coconut oil tubs lasts me about 8-12 months, too.

2. Always keep a camera nearby, whether it's an actual point-and-shoot or a smartphone. With DS, I got the best candids on my iPhone because it was always ready to go. Those are my favorite photos of him.

Ecstatic83 · September 2013

These are great tips! I've been home with the new baby for two weeks and have figured out some of these things but the one about having DH get up and change LO before handing him over to bf is a great idea... I've been cursing him every night for two weeks because he is so helpful during the day but just looks so comfy snoozing all night while I'm up at least twice nursing.

Lbear8 · September 2013

While breast feeding was the best time for us to clip nails, she was so distracted that it was easy to do

SeptMommyX2 · September 2013

If a diaper rash isn't clearing up with your current zinc-based ointment, try Motherlove Diaper Rash and Thrush ointment. It cleared up DD's rash in 24-hrs. It can also be used on nipples without washing it off to nurse! I'm obsessed with this tiny tub of awesomeness!!

redfallon · October 2013

Keep socks for your LO. Not only do they keep toes warm, but they also come in handy to cover LO's hands when you have a poopslosion and those little waving hands inevitably wave right into the poo.