Community› The Bump Message Boards› Stay at Home Moms
Stay at Home Moms
New Discussion

Help me follow up from crazy MIL

AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
in Stay at Home Moms
DD was in her room doing a craft. I went to put clothes away and noticed she was crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said she is so sorry for yesterday and it was all her fault. Of ourselves I reassured her it was not. The big issue for her was that her birthday is in two weeks. The ILs promised to take her to build a bear and to her favorite restaurant to celebrate before then went back to Atlanta. Of course that is not happening. She is really upset they won't celebrate her birthday with her. I feel terrible. DH has this afternoon off and I am thinking we will go to build a bear as a family them to eat at her favorite restaurant. Am I overcompensating? Sould I just let this go? I am at a loss of how to even address this. I have already decided to take them to my parents next week, I think DD needs loved on by other family members.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Help me follow up from crazy MIL

  • kristen714kristen714 member
    I think that sounds like a great plan!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • rockyrollgirlrockyrollgirl member
    That sounds good to me. I am sorry that you are going through this.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

    image



    image
    Report Reply
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • LouiejLouiej member
    Nope, not overcompensating. She's obviously still upset (and for good reason! Lord!) Those fun things would mean a lot to her. What a good momma you are. :)
    Report Reply
  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    That sounds like an excellent idea. 

    I also want to say kudos to you for standing up to your ILs and taking the correct measures to protect your children from future toxicity. 

    My parents wouldn't have done that. 

    Report Reply
  • jensriotjensriot member
    I think you're doing the right thing. Definitely not over compensating. I sure hope she can brush this off and not feel sad anymore. Sweet girl.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic

    C  7.16.2008 | L  11.12.2010 | A  3.18.2013

     

    Report Reply
  • StefibethStefibeth member
    I'm sending so many hateful vibes towards your MIL right now. WTF.  

    I don't think you're overcompensating.  

    photo 40aebcba-1d2e-4e78-8251-3990c3268432_zps1c88178f.jpg   photo 5f224283-0384-4ecd-b6ba-cf265dd81d52_zps1405eecd.jpg
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    photo 0cc607b9-4233-4842-8175-d093f8f92ca8_zps7cc00875.jpg

    Stephanie's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • lyingliarlieslyingliarlies member
    definitely do it, but maybe don't mention her birthday if you think it'll cause her to think about the situation more. say it's "just because."

    it's a wonderful idea, and i really hope it helps her feel better.
    Report Reply
  • AimeeL85AimeeL85 member
    I feel so bad for her, it was no one's fault but theirs. I hope your DS knows none of it was his fault, either.

    It's not overcompensating, but you could let her know what you'd like to do and let her make the choice. I hope she'd want to go.
    DS (7 years old) from FET in 2010
    DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
    TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
    Report Reply
  • ArnegardArnegard member
    Andrewsgal said:
     She is really upset they won't celebrate her birthday with her.  
    Okay, you buying her things and doing what in-laws were going to do does not solve the issue that she is upset that they will not celebrate her birthday with her.

    If in-laws want to still do it, in a week or two or whenever was planned then tag along and supervise.  If they do not want to do it, then take DD alone and make a fun afternoon of it for her birthday.

    I do think that buying her stuff is overcompensating.  She needs to learn to handle her emotions without being bought a new toy and getting comfort food.
    Just my 2 cents.  Feel free to ignore it since I am the odd woman out in this thread.
    Report Reply
  • LatteLady5LatteLady5 member

    littlemermaid said:
    Since both your son and daughter had a horrible day yesterday I would make it a family event and let both of them pick out a stuffed animal at build a bear and then go out to eat.
    I think you have a good plan. I'd make sure she definitely understands that none of this is her fault. "Nana wasn't acting kind and when we're unkind we have to miss out on fun and special things. Unfortunately Nana doesn't get to come on our special day and instead Mom, Dad and J get to come"....or something like that.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • lyingliarlieslyingliarlies member
    Arnegard said:
    Andrewsgal said:
     She is really upset they won't celebrate her birthday with her.  
    Okay, you buying her things and doing what in-laws were going to do does not solve the issue that she is upset that they will not celebrate her birthday with her.

    If in-laws want to still do it, in a week or two or whenever was planned then tag along and supervise.  If they do not want to do it, then take DD alone and make a fun afternoon of it for her birthday.

    I do think that buying her stuff is overcompensating.  She needs to learn to handle her emotions without being bought a new toy and getting comfort food.
    Just my 2 cents.  Feel free to ignore it since I am the odd woman out in this thread.
    while i totally agree with the bolded (which is part of the reason i suggested to leave the birthday out of it) i think this is not an ordinary case of hurt feelings or anything that a child should ever experience. it had to be seriously traumatic. i don't think AG would make a routine of it. but i do get what you're saying @Arnegard.
    Report Reply
  • mysticlmysticl member
    I think she should still get to do the things that were planned for her birthday even if it's not with the people she planned on doing them with.  
    Report Reply
  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    Right now she is upset over losing out on going to BAB and the dinner...that's why I suggested waiting. It's not a bad thing to be upset over that, but I don't think you need to jump at the chance to take her just to make her feel better. You can make her feel better without material things and I'm sure you are.
    Report Reply
  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    LOL Well I'm sure it didn't cause any long lasting damage. ;) Nice bear!
    Report Reply
  • lyingliarlieslyingliarlies member
    does that bear have an iphone?
    :D
    Report Reply
  • Cheekers2010Cheekers2010 member
    littlemermaid said:
    Since both your son and daughter had a horrible day yesterday I would make it a family event and let both of them pick out a stuffed animal at build a bear and then go out to eat.

    Excellent idea!
    Lilypie - (vGZN)

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP2: 10/27/13(edd 7/10/14) "Speck" ~ M/C 12/5/13
    Report Reply
  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
    lyingliarlies said:

    does that bear have an iphone?
    :D

    iPod:) and the bear plays call me maybe.

    Report Reply
  • LouiejLouiej member
    It'll go perfect in her new room!
    Report Reply
  • ArnegardArnegard member
    Andrewsgal said:
    does that bear have an iphone?
    :D
    iPod:) and the bear plays call me maybe.
    My girls love that song.  
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"