(Vent) Moving/job change & panicking a bit

kkntim07 · August 2013

My husband and I have been contemplating a big move to be near my parents, and we've been looking into jobs for the last couple of months. We'd also been prepping to sell our house no matter what due to our needs and the improvement in the local market. Suddenly, in the last 2 weeks, things have moved really quickly, and our house is on the market, my husband has an offer (with a start date in 5 weeks), and now as of this morning, I have a 2nd interview next week for a job with great potential. I was overwhelmed enough with the prospect of my husband's job change and the move, and my plan previously had been to let my current employer know about the move and try to work out a part-time/remote agreement for a few months that would allow me to finish projects, etc., and would take the pressure off of the daycare situation. Now, suddenly, everything is hitting all at once, and I don't know what do do first!

I was already going to need to talk to my manager asap, but we have a HUGE 2-day meeting next week, and she's out of town until the end of the first day. Then I might need to fly the next day for the interview and to look at daycares so I don't know if I tell them before I go that I'm leaving and say that I'm doing the trip to scope out housing/daycare so that if things don't work out with the job I'm not hurting my chances of staying on with them for a bit. I've been with the company for quite a while and I think I'm valued there and really don't want to leave them hanging, but it's hard to know how to balance doing what's best for me and being respectful of their needs as well.

Anyone have any advice as far as telling my boss? Do I wait until I get back and potentially will only have 2 weeks (incl. Labor Day) before I'm literally packing up and moving? Or do I say something on Monday to our Director (boss's boss, with whom I regularly work) about the move for my husband's job and just say I'm taking the time off to prep for the move? Argh! Any thoughts or similar stories would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!! (and sorry so long/confusing)

litzo27 · August 2013

I'm just a bit confused on all the timing details but I would hold off on mentioning anything because 1) it's always better to talk directly to your manager vs. go over her head. 2) you don't have the second job yet so you have no idea of how available for part-time, remote, projects, etc. you're going to be. 3) It sounds like the difference is giving 2 weeks notice vs. 3 weeks notice. Not a huge difference. Maybe if it was 2 weeks vs. 2 months my suggestion would be different but given points 1 and 2 and the fact that it's a matter of waiting one week I would just wait.

kkntim07 · August 2013

Thanks for the thoughts, and I'm confused myself, so I totally understand. I agree that I should tell her in person. I do think my manager will be a bit concerned with me taking 2 days off next Thursday and Friday because of some deadlines the following week, so I'm not sure how to handle it if she asks why the late notice during a busy time. There's clearly no ideal solution, and I agree that it's barely any time either way so it's better in person. Assuming she's OK with me taking off for the two days, then I think I tell her the Monday when I get back and I might have a better idea of my standing with the new job. Thanks!!

jnnfrrose6 · August 2013

If your manager does show concern with you taking the 2 days next week, then I think you do need to at least tell her then that you will be moving because of your husband's job opportunity and you need to go make arrangements (housing/childcare), but don't mention the interview. If you aren't able to do that much in person, be sure to let her know you were hoping to wait and speak to her in person about it. I agree with PP that there's no reason to mention your other job opportunity yet, though. As for the timing of everything, it'll definitely be a whirlwind, but at least you won't have a ton of time to dwell on it all. Just keep moving forward and do what's best for your family!