I need a bedsharer update

wifeofadam · August 2013

How's bedsharing going for everyone?

DD is up every 1-2 hours. I thought for a while that it was because my moving in bed or snoring was waking her, so we introduced a very noisy fan to the room and while it seems to help me not notice every little noise she makes, she still is waking every couple of hours to nurse. I love waking up and having her there to snuggle and really want to continue, but I don't know if I can survive like this anymore. I also refuse to do any sleep training. Anyone found anything that is working for you?

eriannc22 · August 2013

We are still bed sharing. We have good nights and bad nights. Mostly he sleeps pretty good and only wakes up two or three times to nurse. Sometimes though he wants to be attached to the boob ALL night. I don't really have any advice...maybe the smell of your milk is waking her up? Hope it gets better mama!

bobcatsteph · August 2013

Your experiece sounds exactly like mine. He's waking a lot to nurse..and I don't want to sleep train. I have a noise machine in the room. I just nurse him while I sleep, then switch sides the next time he wakes up..and on and on.

My dad says if he slept in McDonnalds, he would probably want a few big macs throughout the night too.

babywisher · August 2013

I with all of you. Still bed sharing/co sleeping. She starts off in her cradle next to me then when she wakes up she stays the rest of the night with me. She mostly wakes twice a night to nurse. The past few nights it has been much worse. The only way to get her back to sleep is to nurse her. Also I have no interest in sleep training. She does go down for naps in her crib in her room with me just putting her down awake! Thank the good Lord!
Don't have any advice for you though. Sorry!

wifeofadam · August 2013

It sounds like we're all in the same boat here.

I did introduce a paci to see if it helps. Sometimes I can get her to take it, but I still have to wake up to get the paci in her mouth right now, so it's not much of a help.

What I would give for one solid sleep cycle. Just three hours of straight sleep. It sounds so blissful!

bobcatsteph · August 2013

+adamwife+ said:

It sounds like we're all in the same boat here.

I did introduce a paci to see if it helps. Sometimes I can get her to take it, but I still have to wake up to get the paci in her mouth right now, so it's not much of a help.

What I would give for one solid sleep cycle. Just three hours of straight sleep. It sounds so blissful!

DS takes, and loves, the paci..and he knows how to put it back in his mouth, but he gets pissed if I try to give that to him in the middle of the night instead of nursing.

SidraJedi · August 2013

bobcatsteph said:

+adamwife+ said:

It sounds like we're all in the same boat here.

I did introduce a paci to see if it helps. Sometimes I can get her to take it, but I still have to wake up to get the paci in her mouth right now, so it's not much of a help.

What I would give for one solid sleep cycle. Just three hours of straight sleep. It sounds so blissful!

DS takes, and loves, the paci..and he knows how to put it back in his mouth, but he gets pissed if I try to give that to him in the middle of the night instead of nursing.

Wow, you guys! Are we in some sort of club?
We're still bedsharing and we are still mostly nursing to sleep.
I gave DD a paci starting a few weeks ago and sometimes I can nurse her to sleep for naps and then slip her the paci and buy myself some time. Once or twice she has fallen asleep on me with the paci, but it really doesn't help that much. She's fallen asleep without a paci or nursing or anything just as if not more often. The times she falls asleep without nursing seem to be a fluke maybe she is maturing and the paci has little to do with it?
About bedsharing, she goes back and forth on STTN and eating once and stuck on my boob all night. I don't mind b/c she never fusses. She searches for me in her sleep, I wake, give her the boob and we both dose back off. Neither one of us wakes so much as sort of "sleep-walks" through this process. I am always tired but its not too bad. The bad part is my back. She is getting bigger and likes to spread out and our bed is a FULL. That's right. It's tiny and I am almost always on my side all night (she nurses from one side all night and I pump the other in the AM. I've got a good freezer stash going on now, I got tired of moving her 85-90% highness from one side of the bed to the other #:-S!) So my back hurts. Something has to give. I keep trying to remember to roll onto my back but I just fall asleep and there is hardly room anyway. If I could get a pillow in there, my breast is so large that I could sort of nurse her on my back (my boobs aren't as gross as that sounds, I actually still like them as much as I used to before preg) but the bed is just too small for all of us to sleep comfortably. The baby and my DH with his injured back, in that order, get the good spots.
I tried to nurse her to sleep and then put her in her crib the other day for a nap and she woke up, played in the crib and then cried until I got her out, put her on the space foam on the floor and nursed her back to sleep. Then she slept for 3 hours! Ugh. I wish it had been in the crib, but oh, well...
Still playing it by ear, no plans. Thanks for starting this thread!

eriannc22 · August 2013

SidraJedi do you have a memory foam mattress topper? I bought one at Costco because I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my hip aching from sleeping on the side. I haven't had that problem since getting the topper.

CamMyMan · August 2013

My boy goes down in his crib but we bed share when I go to sleep after his wake up (usually around 10-11) We are having a lot of the same issues as the rest of you. He is still up every 2 hours like clockwork. Most of these wake ups are simply to comfort nurse so I used to be able to slip a pacifier in after he started to doze back to sleep. Lately, I can't get anything passed him and he will be straight up livid if I try to sneak my boob away! Sometimes I wonder if I am making things harder for him by bed sharing, like maybe he is smelling me and that's causing his wakeups? Idk. I do love bed sharing but I sometimes I feel like I should have the gumption to get myself out of bed and at least attempt to get him back down in his crib after his late night wakeups. But seriously you guys, I am JUST SO TIRED. We started bedsharing by accident out of sheer exhaustion but I have grown to love it.

101Mims · August 2013

still bed sharing here, well, mostly. It's high summer here and we have no AC so in our room, even with fans, it gets warm. Our bed isnt the biggest and it's a squeeze as both DH and DD like to starfish :-) So a few weeks ago we moved DD to her crib next to the bed.

She still feeds anywhere from 2 - 4 times a night, so from the early morning, when it's cooler, I keep her in bed with me. I'm not going to try any sleep training and when it gets cooler she will be moving back into our bed for the winter. Both DH and I are very happy to have her with us and if we could we would have DS in with us too, but he's such a wriggler and he's huge! and used to his own bed now anyway.

The lack of sleep is a killer. This coming from someone who used to sleep soundly a good 12-13hrs a night before having children. Today was the first morning I asked DH to watch both babies so I could have a lie in. Yup, I had to ask :-( but hey, it was bliss to get those 2 hours of really good sleep.

I'm sure you are the same in that since having children I "sleep with one eye open" as it were. I'm always listening for DS on the monitor and ready in the blink of an eye to go to him if he needs me. Same with DD. When she's in her crib next to the bed Im listening for her to snuffle about looking to feed, and when she's next to me in the bed I never hit that deep sleep anymore.

I'm a SAHM so I don't have to work, but with 2U2, they never nap at the same time during the day so it's not as if I can just have a lie down every afternoon. Besides there are far too many chores to get done, so when DD sleeps I get a fair bit done as DS can play by himself. Then when DS had his siesta I'm back with DD as she needs my full attention.

Saying all that there is no thought of sleep training, and DD hates the paci. Besides in a few months she will be sleeping better and it will be lovely when it's cold outside and we are all snuggly and warm together in bed. :-)

bumpuser7698452 · August 2013

NickysNutmeg said:
I gave it up. She sleeps much better in her crib and only wakes twice. Last night I was too tired to put her back after a feed and she stayed in bed with me. I think she woke up to eat every hour. I miss her snuggles but I think I made the right choice for us. No sleep training though. I still rock her to sleep and nurse her every time she wakes up.

This is us too. E was starting to wake up 5-6 times a night and nobody was getting any sleep. I put her in her crib in her own room and now she *usually* only wakes up 1-2 times a night. About 230 and 530. Knock on wood.

a13049 · August 2013

We are half way be sharing. We put her on her crib to start with, then when she wakes I take her to bed with me and side nurse her back to sleep. She sleeps better for us when she is in our bed and when I feed her to sleep its effortless. Otherwise I rocking and singing her back to sleep which could be an hour or hour and a half. Plus, she rolls over in her crib and wakes herself up and gets so pissed. I miss her some much, I love the snuggles and I sleep so good

musicalmama5 · August 2013

I had given up bedsharing at about 6 weeks, because LO was too noisy and kept me awake (I'm a super light sleeper). I revisited it again last week because he started waking up every 2 hours and I was just so tired. Previously he had been waking 1-2 times, which was manageable. Well, after 4 nights of bedsharing, I gave it up again because I was getting even less sleep than when he was waking every 2 hours in his crib. It was like I literally didn't sleep at all. Like I said, I'm a very light sleeper, and it was just bad.

So he's back in his crib now and he wakes 2 times to nurse, nurses, and goes right back to sleep. I bring him into bed to nurse (so I don't have to sit up) and then when he's done I take him back to his crib. I'm ever so jealous of you ladies that can sleep through your baby nursing. I just can't.

I'm sad about not bedsharing. When I was pregnant, DH and I talked a lot about it and decided we wanted to bedshare. We thought it would be easier on me since I would be BFing, and we knew how nice it would be to get the snuggles, not to mention making LO feel secure. But the reality is that I sleep way worse, LO sleeps worse and wakes up cranky (he wakes up happy in his crib), so I guess it just isn't for us. Sigh.

MommyPhoenix · August 2013

DC2London said:
::raises hand:: very much still bedsharing. He's been waking a little more than usual the last week or so, but it seems to be teething-related. He literally just wants to move to the other side of me. He doesn't nurse, he doesn't play, he just fusses for a minute until I slide him over to the other side of me, and then he goes back to sleep. So....I don't know what that is all about, but whatever.
We did a very, very gradual/wussy version of the Sleep Lady Shuffle for naps and now he happily and easily goes down for naps in his crib. This was a necessity bc my little cliff-hanger likes to dangle over the edge of my bed, head-first, so I can't have him nap in my bed without me. I'm sure I could put him in there for the first part of the night but I would really, really miss him.

I'm sorry your little lady isn't letting you sleep

Oooh, DC2London, I need to know!..what did you do to get your LO napping in his crib? DD and I lay down for her naps (which have turned into my naps as well) because I can't get her to nap on her own - she falls asleep after nursing and trying to place her in her crib afterwards just wakes her and makes her mad

The only way I can make sure she gets her solid naps are by laying to nurse and having her fall asleep like that (much like our nursing sessions at night)...and if I hear another person tell me how I'm spoiling my DD by co sleeping/bedsharing I'm gonna die! :-@

ally2011 · August 2013

Our dd's room is big enough for a bed and crib so I nurse hero the bed and then put her back into her crib....though sometimes we fall asleep together for a bit. Have you considered an arms reach cosleeper? Not sure about max weight though.

tamarar5 · August 2013

We sort of bedshare still. I'll put E down for bed before DH and I go to sleep, so he goes in his PNP. But when he wakes up to nurse (around 4-5am) He'll sleep in bed with me until 10. DH is changing to third shift overnights in a week so I've been trying to get the kids on an up late/sleep late schedule to help him out. I promise, I'm not lazy, sleeping until 10 just because I can, there is a reason!

SidraJedi · August 2013

eriannc22 - I've got two memory foam toppers. None was too hard, two were too squishy and one is better, but I am getting way misaligned being on my side no matter what! I think we need a bigger bed. Last night I just put a pillow under me and half on DH and it was comfier and he didn't complain. That way I was mostly on my back.

pitterpatter129 · August 2013

Mine wakes up to nurse a few times a night, but quite honestly, I don't wake up. I open one eye, stick out a boob for him, and go back to sleep. I have no idea how long he nurses...

MommyPhoenix · August 2013

DC2London said:

MommyPhoenix said:

DC2London said:
::raises hand:: very much still bedsharing. He's been waking a little more than usual the last week or so, but it seems to be teething-related. He literally just wants to move to the other side of me. He doesn't nurse, he doesn't play, he just fusses for a minute until I slide him over to the other side of me, and then he goes back to sleep. So....I don't know what that is all about, but whatever.
We did a very, very gradual/wussy version of the Sleep Lady Shuffle for naps and now he happily and easily goes down for naps in his crib. This was a necessity bc my little cliff-hanger likes to dangle over the edge of my bed, head-first, so I can't have him nap in my bed without me. I'm sure I could put him in there for the first part of the night but I would really, really miss him.

I'm sorry your little lady isn't letting you sleep
Oooh, DC2London, I need to know!..what did you do to get your LO napping in his crib? DD and I lay down for her naps (which have turned into my naps as well) because I can't get her to nap on her own - she falls asleep after nursing and trying to place her in her crib afterwards just wakes her and makes her mad The only way I can make sure she gets her solid naps are by laying to nurse and having her fall asleep like that (much like our nursing sessions at night)...and if I hear another person tell me how I'm spoiling my DD by co sleeping/bedsharing I'm gonna die! :-@

I wish I could tell you it was some magic mummy awesomeness on my part but in truth, Jack was exactly like your LO and I think Rhys is just a more laid-back baby....in EVERY way. I'll tell you what I did, nonetheless, though ;-)

First I started putting him in his crib while I put his laundry away. I would sit him in there with a toy and let him play for a minute, but keep coming back so he didn't think I was plunking him down and "leaving" him. At that same time, I started using a white noise machine during all of his sleep times to help him develop a sleep cue other than nursing or rocking.

Then, I moved the white noise machine into his bedroom and would rock him to sleep in there. I rocked him until he was tooooootally asleep, and gently put him in the bed, but stayed in the room. He would wake in the crib and get a little mad, but I was right there so he knew he was ok and only fussed for a second.

After he stopped waking up and getting upset about being in the crib (this only took a weekend), I started putting him in there a little closer to drowsy-but-awake. By now, he had realized that white noise + nursery meant nap time, and he knew I was going to put him in his crib and that that was ok. He still likes me to rock him until he's asleep, but he wakes briefly when I set him down in the crib and doesn't flinch or fuss. He just looks up at me, then closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

I felt like Wonder Woman the other day bc he was really, really tired after a long day of swimming lessons and doctor's appointments and he basically pointed to his bed and started trying to wiggle to it. I NEVER could have put Jack in the crib, kissed him, and walked out of the room. Never, ever, ever. But Rhys was ok with it! Different babies, I guess.

Thanks for sharing!! I'll have to give it a try

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