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April 2013 Moms
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Leaving babies alone

LisaLisa1980LisaLisa1980 member
in April 2013 Moms
In this day & age with all these articles out there telling us how to teach, educate and stimulate our children, we never hear about quiet time or free play. I'm really struggling with this today.

Since 8 weeks old, LO decided he would switch up his napping schedule that he put himself on. His afternoon nap would be 1-5 or 6pm. Now it's about 15-30 minutes every 2 hours. Once in awhile he'll do 2 hours straight. I understand that babies sleep patterns change and that this too shall pass.

Fast forward to today. I feel like my days for the past 4 weeks (LO is 15.5 weeks now) my days are spent trying to get him to sleep. He's too fussy to play and if he does it doesn't last long, and too fussy to sleep. By 1 or 2 in the afternoon, he is over-tired and won't finally start his naps till 3 or 4.

He likes to comfort nurse to sleep or be rocked. Because he is a heavy baby, I can't hold him for too long standing up, but he won't let me rock him sitting down. He also hates the swing.

I put him down in his crib to see if just maybe he'd put himself out. Nope! Decided he likes the sound of his own voice and was "ahhhh"ing to himself in a calm, meditative way. I let him do this for a half an hour by himself. I felt guilty. I felt like if he's going to be awake, I should be there with him.

I came into the room and he was all smiles but still kind of whiny, so I took him out and dressed him. Then he was fussy again.

So I guess I wanna know... Is it ok to leave babies alone in their bed? For how long? Till they start crying for you?

I feel like I'm really questioning myself today and have no idea what I'm doing anymore. He needs to sleep so bad but I just don't know how to help him
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Re: Leaving babies alone

  • ClandestineXClandestineX member
    I actually think babies need alone time. I used to feel guilty too when my son was younger and he would just entertain himself for like an hour. Right now I am happy if he can entertain himself for 10 minutes.. If I could put him down, I would not pick him back up until his coos become frustrated coos or start being whiny. 

    He is really picky about how I need to put him to sleep too.. but some days I cannot handle it and just rock him to sleep sitting down or sitting back... he likes for me to be hunched over and swinging my body side to side while patting his butt... it is uncomfortable. So I do sit back and relax and pat his bottom.. he cries for a minute or so and whines afterwards, but he eventually falls asleep. I tell him, "I am sorry baby boy, I need to be comfortable right now" and softly shush him to sleep.

    Don't worry, I was going through the same thing at that time.. the putting him to sleep has gotten better, not necessarily the sleep part in my son's case. Just be consistent with his cues and try your hardest, everything is so amazing to them and they just want to be big kids and stay up with everyone else!
     
     
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  • tondraluvtondraluv member

    @ClandestineX Brayden needs to be put down the same exact way; body hunched over, rocking from side to side while patting his butt.  It is so exhausting.

    OP my DS is the type of baby that really likes to be alone sometimes.  I let him stay to himself until he starts fussing

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  • CanukMamCanukMam member
    edited August 2013
    Agreed, it's important for them to learn how to entertain themselves. I find he explores more when he is on his own. I felt guilty at first too but he gets a lot of one on one time with mommy.. so I'm over it. I think as long as they are happy, being alone is good for them. When my guy wakes up in the morning (we bed share) I put him straight into the crib while I catch a few more minutes of sleep. I do this every morning and at first I could only get 10 minutes, this morning I got 30 minutes! makes a world of difference during the 4 month wakeful!
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  • arschm02arschm02 member
    It's alo easy for a baby to get overstimulated when entertaining them. When they play by themselves they take things in much more at their wn pace. Some alone time is good for them :)
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
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  • LisaLisa1980LisaLisa1980 member
    edited August 2013
    Thank you everyone! I will try to relax and stop feeling guilty

    I don't really have anything for him to look at while in the crib. Do I need to?
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  • smiles21866smiles21866 member
    When my DS is being extremely fussy and I cannot get him to calm down I get up and put him in his swing with his favorite toy. I sit on the couch to give myself a break and he sits there and babbles and coos. If he's perfectly content, I will leave him alone for 10-15 minutes in his swing. Sometimes he will drift off to sleep other times he will start to get whiny and I will pick him back up and try the next thing. Alone time for them and for us.As long as baby is content :)
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  • CrazyMary77CrazyMary77 member
    I used to feel guilty too, and felt like I had to entertain and stimulate my baby all the time for proper development. Now, like others, I give her alone time as long as she's content. When she goes down for a nap, I keep an eye on her with a video monitor. Many times she will wake up from a nap and be perfectly quiet, just looking around, sucking her fingers. I let her be until she starts fussing.
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