Preschool or in home tutor?

nfrtny · August 2013

DS turned 2 in June, and this is the first time I've even CONSIDERED sending him to preschool. I've alwayswanted to homeschool, since before he was born. I'm understanding more and more that I need to throw out old ideas, and embrace what may be the best option for him. Of course, sending him to preschool wouldn't mean I couldn't keep him home later, it's just something that I always thought was a waste. We're concerned about autism, but he has improved greatly over the last 2 or 3 months. He doesn't really have any of the social markers anymore, but he is still speech delayed, with 8-10 words, and has sensory issues. It will cost more to have someone come into our home, but the idea of sending my precious little boy to school when he can't even communicate his basic needs to me scares the crap out of me. Can anyone give me any advice on how to feel okay with it, or if working with him in the home is a better option at this age?

august06mom · August 2013

Are you involved with Early Intervention?

nfrtny · August 2013

We are. He has an OT now, but we are switching to speech because I don't think OT at home is working. He has a speech eval at a clinic on the 29th, and he's on the wait list for OT there too, just gotta get the script from the pedi for the OT, already have it for ST.

d.f · August 2013

Preschool!

Sending my son to preschool a few weeks prior to his 3rd birthday was one of the best decisions I've made to date. There is no way I could have replicated the social situations that have helped him make such great progress. It was actually the SpEd teacher at his inclusive preschool who clued us into his differences and ultimately lead to us pursuing evals (which resulted in an ASD Dx).

I think if I had kept him home he would currently be at a much more severe social disadvantage.

ETA: I do think preschool usually isn't a necessity at 2. . If you need day care I don't really know if there's an advantage to a nanny or an actual day care. Three was a really good age for my DS to start preschool prior to that we did a lot of music classes, story times and other social things where I was present.

nfrtny · August 2013

We don't need child care, I just want to make sure we're doing everything we can to further his development at a young age.

nfrtny · August 2013

He is on an IFSP, and the very most therapy EI will give him is one therapist, twice a month, but it's often 3 weeks before he has an appointment. I will continue to keep him in the EI program, because I know it can open doors that I wouldn't even know existed.

The IFSP I feel is really silly. It has very broad, general statements like "further his speech development with therapy 2x a week". I have no idea what is a realistic goal for speech in a 2 year old, but there has to be some kind of specific goal in order to be able to work toward it. I'm looking forward to his private speech evaluation on the 29th and what they will have to say!

Rachel Sonnier · August 2013

I understand where you are coming from. I wanted to homeschool, also, and had to rearrange my thinking.

I have taught at the university and elementary levels, so I had no doubt in my mind that I was capable of doing it. Also, I will have to respectfully disagree with Auntie, this one time, because every single home schooled child that I know is truly phenomenal. The adults are successful in work, university and socially. The younger children are responsible, respectful and brilliant. Most are married with great jobs, and nice family lives. The HS children that I know are actually what had me considering it in the first place. I have taught HS kids at the college level and kids entering elementary school from a HS environment, and yes, they do stand out, but in a really great way. Amazing kids! The research is saying this as well. I guess it all depends on what kind of homeschoolers you are exposed to, but if done well, I have seen it be an amazing thing.

However, my husband feels as though our son needs to be in school, and squashed that idea pretty quickly. We tried him in a PREK3 class before we started therapy and it was disastrous...but it was good, because that is when we realized we had some issues to deal with. I was super nervous about PREK4 this year at a real live elementary school, but I can see him changing already. The first week was ROUGH while he adjusted, but now that he is comfortable and understands the dynamic of it all, he is really starting to blossom. I don't know if he is "learning" a whole lot of educational things at this point, but he is learning how to play with other kids, and manage his stress levels on his own, away from my help, and I can see the difference in just these few weeks. He is excited and proud of himself and getting rewards and pats on the back from others, so I am slowly making my way into the "school is really good for him" camp.

If your child thrives with structure, and needs the social interaction, I think it is probably a good thing. If you are up front with his teachers and the director about your concerns, and what his therapists are saying, then I think everyone will be prepared and things will go more smoothly. I don't think anyone at a reputable preschool would neglect the needs of a child who was non-verbal, or significantly delayed, if they understand what they are dealing with. Worst case scenario, you never get comfortable with it, or it doesn't work out, and you move on to option B, and get your tutor for home. You are always free to change your mind, and try something different.

nfrtny · August 2013

-auntie- said:

nfrtny said:

He is on an IFSP, and the very most therapy EI will give him is one therapist, twice a month, but it's often 3 weeks before he has an appointment.

Why?

I know kids who see multiple therapists if that's what they need. In a lot of situations, a SLP or OT can introduce some remediation outside their general area in the age group. I also know of kids who attend centers where an OT and SLP work together in a small group of kids with similar issues.

I believe I was told that one therapist is all the program allows, or something to that effect. I don't know how to find programs that will accommodate him, because he has no diagnosis. I'd love to put him in a group of some sort, but I can't put him in say, regular story time or something, but he's also never been diagnosed with ASD, so where does he fit?

august06mom · August 2013

Sorry if I missed it, but have you seem a behavioral pedi? DS2 is receiving ST, OT and special instruction. While his dx helped speed up services, he would have gotten them anyway based on the evals from EI. Have you requested evals from EI? Our state doesn't require a pedi rec to make one.

nfrtny · August 2013

Thanks @-auntie- I will look that up. He had an evaluation done by EI and qualified for services for social/emotional and speech. He showed a delay in adaptive, but he didn't qualify for services for that. He hasn't see a behavioral pedi

august06mom · August 2013

I would go to one if you think he needs more services. Once every three weeks doesn't sound like much.

KelleyBean · August 2013

Can you afford to supplement with private therapies or does your insurance cover anything?

nfrtny · August 2013

We're starting private ST at th end of this month, and he's on a wait list for OT. Those will both be weekly

annibes · August 2013

At least in my state, qualifying for EI means you have access to therapists in the areas of qualification and can ask for another specialist to take a look at any time.

IFSP goals are different than, say, IEP or private therapy goals. They are supposed to be driven by the families and ideally written by the families, so they don't often include formal measurement parameters or even measurable behaviors. I get "we want him to use more words" or "we want him to listen to us" all the time.

EI service delivery can feel like a cruel joke, but the State gets what the State demands... Right now the push is for all services to be provided in the home or community, ideally in a parent-training model. So the therapist comes in once or twice a month, trains mom and dad and caregivers on strategies,models the strategies with the kiddo while measuring progress, and comes back the next month. The idea is that if the family implements the strategies, the child is getting therapy in natural contexts every day. Great notion, but I often come across the "fix my kid" mentality, and I get it. I know exactly what I'm doing and it's freakin' exhausting to do therapy all the time. Currently, my county still has a toddler program, where the 2-year-olds are eligible for a 2-day-a-week toddler class complete with 3 therapies, EIS, and school psych for behavior consults, but it may not exist much longer because the folks making decisions don't like center-based services, even in conjunction with home-based. Funny how what's "best for the kids" is really all that favorable for anyone...

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