Working Moms

Morning routines

So what do u think if this setup? I get up around 5:15 get myself ready and then get the girls up and get them ready for daycare. I have to leave at a specific time to catch my train and my H drops them off at school. When I leave I have to put my 19 mo old back in her crib and my 4 yr old sits downstairs alone bc my H only gets up with enough time to get himself ready. I don't like that they spend about 20-30 min alone in the morning...my H doesn't think it's a big deal....thoughts?
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Re: Morning routines

  • So they are alone when your husband is sleeping and getting ready?  I'm not okay with that especially since it sounds like they are downstairs while your husband is upstairs. 

    DS is "alone" in the living room while we get ready, but our bedroom is right off the living room and we can keep an eye on him.

    I would suggest putting them in your bedroom with a show/movie on to keep them entertained while your husband gets ready.  He doesn't necessarily have to engage with them every second but definitely keep an eye on them.

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  • Yes my 4 yr old is downstairs in the kitchen eating breakfast while my H is in shower or getting dressed upstairs. I can't leave my toddler down there so I put her in her crib in her room. Ideally I would like for my H to be ready by the time I leave so that he is downstairs with them...he doesn't think that us necessary I think it's bc he doesn't want to get up earlier which pisses me off bc I do everything in the morning he just has to drop them off
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  • He should be getting up earlier, too. Seriously what if God-forbid your 4-yr-old choked on breakfast? I have an almost 4 yr old and I'm not comfortable leaving him alone eating for longer than a minute for that very reason. Also eventually your toddler will start wanting to climb out of the crib. I wouldn't trust it unless she's sleeping. My DS watches a show in my bedroom or is on the iPad while I get ready in the bathroom on the same level. I am not a worrier by nature, but if something happened while I could easily prevent it I would never forgive myself or DH.
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  • Wow no I would not be OK with that. Your 4 year old could choke or fall or a million other things. And your poor toddler just sits alone and awake in the crib for half an hour?

    It makes no sense that you are getting both kids ready in the mornings. How did the arrangement come about? Does your DH work a really late shift or badly need to sleep those extra 30 minutes for some reason?
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
  • I would not be okay with that, for all the reasons the PP's listed.  Sorry, but DH has got to get up earlier.  Before DH started traveling, he had morning duty, and the time when DS was eating breakfast, etc. was their time to hang out in the morning.  If he had left our 4-yr-old sitting downstairs alone while he was in the shower and would never hear if something happened, I would be so livid.

     

  • How long does it take him to get ready?  I don't get why he can't get up and be ready by the time you leave or at least have his shower out of the way.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

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  • If you were on the same level and it was just the 4 year old, then I would probably be fine.  My DS is 3 and it a quite morning person - need time to get going.  But with the younger one no way.  He needs to be mostly ready when you leave.  Plus you have done all the kid work, he can get up 15 mins earlier. 
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    Honestly, my DH could probably get up and out the door in all of 5 minutes to leave for work.  But he gets up an hour before he has to leave because WE need to get DS ready and out the door.  It's not just my job, its our job.  He makes sure he is ready for work, then we get DS up and fed.  DH gets him dressed while I finish getting ready.  Its a team effort in our house. 

    What does your youngest do for 30 minutes in her crib?   DS would go nuts!!

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  • I agree with it all and his lack of helping has been an issue I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being ridiculous ;)
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  • I think your DH needs to get himself up earlier and priorize fatherhood over beauty sleep!  I'd be pissed.

    I get up at 530, get showered and half dressed.  I go to get DD out of her crib at 6, usually she is awake and playing by then.  DH is up at 6 and in the shower.

    I change her diaper and give her breakfast.  While she is in her highchair I make and pack her lunch.

    When DH gets to the kitchen to have his coffee and breakfast I turn DD over to him so that I can get the rest of myself dressed.  DH gets DD dressed (I lay out outfits for the week on Sunday so he just grabs the outfit of the day) and he drops her at daycare.

    We have a PNP open and DD does spend about 5 minutes in there on some mornings when we're both trying to get dressed and out the door, especially if we have early meetings.

    Our mornings run suprisingly smoothly and I attribute that 100% to DH and I sharing responsiblity for DD.  Divide an conquer. 

    When I returned to work from ML, I talked to DH about how our mornings were going to go and let him know that I needed help.  I kind of outlined a morning routine for our family but knew that we wouldn't know what to expect until we were actually in the midst of our new lifestyle.  Minor bumps along the way but we seem to have adapted well.

  • I would consider that a safety issue.
  • Your Husband is being horribly selfish.  He needs to wake up 15mins earlier or shower at night.  Why is it only your responsibility to get the children ready???  In our house, DH is up and gone long before any of us are awake.  I make sure I am awake and get ready for work before the kids are up.  Then I can finish packing lunches etc. while they have breakfast.  On RARE occassions when DH is home in the morning, we each get one child dressed/ready, its a shared responsibility.
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  • um, yeeeeaaaah, what you have outlined is definitely not ok. Your DH needs to get with the program. You need to have a come-to-Jesus conversation with him.
  • Easy solution. Stop getting the girls ready. That is a ridiculous situation. Stop enabling his jerkiness.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • Your DH needs to get up with your kids. Even if he is really tired like mine is bc he gets home at midnight most nights. My DH is still up and dressed by the time DD is at the table for breakfast at about 6:15 everyday so I can finish getting ready and leave for work.
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