Thanks for the help ILs?

WheeLinTheSky3 · August 2013

so...my ILs do mean well but sometimes they are so clueless I want to scream. They came over last night to see the new baby and bring us dinner. "Bringing" us dinner turned out to be them bringing a pan of lasagna and then expecting to eat with us and for us to provide sides, drinks, etc. to go with this meal. I ended up serving them the dinner that was supposed to be a helpful meal FOR us. I had to throw together a salad, serve up the meal and then DH and I spent 30 minutes cleaning up the mess after they left.They simply got up from the table and left the mess for us. I also now have to wash the glass pan that they brought the meal in and get it back to her this weekend because she wants it back ASAP.

Also, I almost had to pry LO out of MIL's arms because she was crying to be fed and MIL denied that her cries were for hunger and kept trying to shove a pacifier in her mouth. It took every ounce of willpower I have not to rip her from MIL's arms. WTF

sparks4stp · August 2013

Oh man....I don't know how you made it through the visit!

southernmama8813 · August 2013

That is...I don't even have the words. You're a better woman than me for keeping your mouth shut about it.

henderson1026 · August 2013

ugh, love it when people are so thoughtful!

CelticWife · August 2013

You handled it better then I would have.

11dematosk · August 2013

Rude.

thellx · August 2013

It blows my mind how some people are so socially clueless. So sorry you had to deal with this! That would be the last time I let them drop in to "help". Next time they/DH tell you they're coming, say no. When you're ready to host them, you'll invite them, but until then, it sounds like their visits are more of an inconvenience to you than a help.

kkay1982 · August 2013

I don't understand people. They really don't understand what helping means.

MrsLaurenAsh · August 2013

Ughhhhhh, outlaws! (I mean, cough, inlaws..)

henderson1026 · August 2013

maybe you can return the favor one day?

LiylaRae · August 2013

Oh hell to the no. Not cool.

WheeLinTheSky3 · August 2013

I only kept my mouth shut because I knew it made DH happy to see his family. He was not in the house when MIL was hoarding my daughter during feeding time lol. I told him what happened and he apologized but they are just crazy. I wish returning the favor would even register with them but because MIL treats my BILs like they are still 10 (they are 27 and 25 and still live at home rent free because they dont want to move out yet-they both can more than afford to) and cater to their every need, she would not even notice if we did the same thing..she would expect it. sigh.

henderson1026 · August 2013

Kristin030 said:

I only kept my mouth shut because I knew it made DH happy to see his family. He was not in the house when MIL was hoarding my daughter during feeding time lol. I told him what happened and he apologized but they are just crazy. I wish returning the favor would even register with them but because MIL treats my BILs like they are still 10 (they are 27 and 25 and still live at home rent free because they dont want to move out yet-they both can more than afford to) and cater to their every need, she would not even notice if we did the same thing..she would expect it. sigh.

ahh, seems like it secretly angers her that they are still home and she is taking it out on you guys?

WheeLinTheSky3 · August 2013

henderson1026 said:

Kristin030 said:

I only kept my mouth shut because I knew it made DH happy to see his family. He was not in the house when MIL was hoarding my daughter during feeding time lol. I told him what happened and he apologized but they are just crazy. I wish returning the favor would even register with them but because MIL treats my BILs like they are still 10 (they are 27 and 25 and still live at home rent free because they dont want to move out yet-they both can more than afford to) and cater to their every need, she would not even notice if we did the same thing..she would expect it. sigh.
ahh, seems like it secretly angers her that they are still home and she is taking it out on you guys?

quite the opposite. She would let them live there forever if they would stay. One of their GFs lives there too. She makes all of their meals (including their lunches for work), she pays for all food, they dont pay rent, they dont have to do chores, etc. I actually get embarassed for them sometimes. They both have high paying stable jobs and their mom still packs their lunch everyday and does their laundry...thank god DH didnt inherit those qualities.

kateisgreat · August 2013

I feel your pain. My mom stayed with me for a week to "help". All she did was hold DD while I did chores. I have a bouncy seat for that, but thanks.

I HATED it when clueless people would hold DD while she was screaming in hunger. MIL was one of the offenders, but lots of other old ladies did the same. What killed me is that they would even say out loud "oh look she's hungry" and then try to give her a paci instead of giving her to me to feed her.

coraggiosa · August 2013

kateisgreat said:

I feel your pain. My mom stayed with me for a week to "help". All she did was hold DD while I did chores. I have a bouncy seat for that, but thanks.

I HATED it when clueless people would hold DD while she was screaming in hunger. MIL was one of the offenders, but lots of other old ladies did the same. What killed me is that they would even say out loud "oh look she's hungry" and then try to give her a paci instead of giving her to me to feed her.

WTF? Seriously? How does a paci help if a baby is hungry?

OP, sorry your in-laws suck. I wouldn't let them come over to "help" anymore, to be honest. You definitely don't need that stress.

Ghw1208 · August 2013

Wow. Inlaws truly do suck b*tt!

kanned0121 · August 2013

Not even a week after my csection my MIL told me she was too busy to take time to drive out to visit.. But wanted my mom to drive us out there to see her.

Then when she found time to come out at 7:45 am... She ended up coming two hours late without telling me.

Inlaw's can really suck sometimes..

BelhurstBride · August 2013

And this is why I said no more visitors after DD was born. I just couldn't deal.

natsko · August 2013

Yikes that sounds terrible

Ruger04 · August 2013

Such bs I would have been pissed! Sorry hun

darjeeling · August 2013

I'm so sorry - that sounds awful.

nurseclare9 · August 2013

Definitely feel for you! The night we came back from the hospital my ILs told us they couldn't afford a hotel and had to stay with us even though we had told them no ahead of time, AND they expected us to make them dinner! WTF is with some people!!

wifeyvana · August 2013

I feel your pain. My MIL wouldn't even bring over lasagna, she'd just expect to be fed.

carrotcake06 · August 2013

Yup. I can relate.

Rowcate · August 2013

Maybe I am just a dick, if someone offered me dinner Would not have bothered getting up to put it out, fix and serve sides or drinks. After DD (because of the csection) I let people visit occasionally but I was always in pajamas and refused to offer anything. If they weren't comfortable enough to help me out or themselves I didn't have time for them and just allowed the awkwardness to send them out the door. But again I am kind of a douche, especially when feeling unwell. Sorry you had to deal with that.

TurtleMomma · August 2013

I feel ya!

My IL bitch is that mil and DH's aunts drop by the other day with 5 minutes notice and proceed to get mad when I don't greet them at the door because I'm nursing. Smh...

lkobriant · August 2013

Kristin030 said:

henderson1026 said:

Kristin030 said:

I only kept my mouth shut because I knew it made DH happy to see his family. He was not in the house when MIL was hoarding my daughter during feeding time lol. I told him what happened and he apologized but they are just crazy. I wish returning the favor would even register with them but because MIL treats my BILs like they are still 10 (they are 27 and 25 and still live at home rent free because they dont want to move out yet-they both can more than afford to) and cater to their every need, she would not even notice if we did the same thing..she would expect it. sigh.
ahh, seems like it secretly angers her that they are still home and she is taking it out on you guys?

quite the opposite. She would let them live there forever if they would stay. One of their GFs lives there too. She makes all of their meals (including their lunches for work), she pays for all food, they dont pay rent, they dont have to do chores, etc. I actually get embarassed for them sometimes. They both have high paying stable jobs and their mom still packs their lunch everyday and does their laundry...thank god DH didnt inherit those qualities.

My MIL was the same with DH until he went into the military at 27, and thank God for that. It's SO annoying and took him years of ME teaching him for him to learn to be self sufficient. Ugh!!

Thanks for the help ILs?

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