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October 2013 Moms
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Finally excited

RedZeeRedZee member
in October 2013 Moms
We planned this pregnancy, never wanted to have an only child, were ready financially and emotionally and everything else. Regardless of that, since my BFP, I've mostly been scared out of my mind about having 2 kids. I've been scared about really having enough money, enough space, enough time, being able to parent more than 1 child (and really, being able to parent that 1 child), being able to give 2 people enough attention, still having time for each other, making sure that DD treats the baby well, and on and on. I've had a few complete meltdowns over it. It's not that I've been upset, just scared. (With DD, I also had a really hard time getting past fear during my entire pregnancy and labor.)

I posted the other day about trying to vacation with another family. A big reason I wanted to do that was so that DD would have someone to play with while away (especially since I can't do so many things right now). The vacation didn't work out, but it hit me that after this year this won't be an issue. Next year, we're hoping to visit family overseas. After that, the baby will be able to run around with her and the two of them will always have company.

This probably sounds really stupid, but I guess even though I knew that it would be good for DD to have a sibling I could only focus on the fear until today. I'm finally starting to feel really excited and that feels good.

Anyone else struggling with feelings like this?
     
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DD1: born 1/19/11. DD2: born 10/10/13
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Re: Finally excited

  • shelley1002shelley1002 member
    Glad you have overcome the fear.

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  • ClaireOtomsClaireOtoms member
    I was thinking about starting a thread about this just this morning.  I am terrified that I am going to fail as a mom of 2u2, or that I'm not going to love this baby as much as I love DS.  I haven't spent nearly as much time nesting or bonding or thinking about his baby as I did when I Was pregnant the first time around.  I am really struggling with guilt over all of it.  I've also had several meltdowns over it, and my poor H has had to reassure me on far too many occasions.  So, no, you're certainly not on your own. 

    I'm glad you are starting to feel more excited.  Hopefully I'll be right there with you soon!


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  • MrsKocalMrsKocal member
    Yes, I've been having similar fears - I'm an only child so I don't have the understanding of how much she'll love her little sister to comfort me. I've been feeling anxious about not loving another baby as much as I love DD (I know I will, i just don't see how it's humanly possible to love two little people that much!), and anxious that she won't be getting the undivided attention from us, AND from my parents that she gets now.  But she is just so darn excited about the baby, it makes me feel so much better.  She tells everyone she has a sister, and her sister is in mommy's belly.  She can't wait, and it makes me excited too. 
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  • RedZeeRedZee member
    I'm so glad I'm not alone! The first time I felt so guilty that I didn't just feel completely blissful that I didn't feel I could share it with anyone. After DD was born, I had a hard time bonding and had a little bit of post-partum depression for a few weeks. This time, I've been better at accepting that I don't feel totally connected to an unborn child because I know that it will happen. (I'm excited, but still don't really feel connected.) The second time is so different. The first time I was so nervous about every pregnancy symptom and really mindful of each thing. Just being more relaxed about it feels different.
         
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    DD1: born 1/19/11. DD2: born 10/10/13
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  • kaswansonkaswanson member
    MrsKocal said:
    Yes, I've been having similar fears - I'm an only child so I don't have the understanding of how much she'll love her little sister to comfort me. I've been feeling anxious about not loving another baby as much as I love DD (I know I will, i just don't see how it's humanly possible to love two little people that much!), and anxious that she won't be getting the undivided attention from us, AND from my parents that she gets now.  But she is just so darn excited about the baby, it makes me feel so much better.  She tells everyone she has a sister, and her sister is in mommy's belly.  She can't wait, and it makes me excited too. 
    This for me, too!  I STILL wish I had a sibling (or two!).  I've also heard from other mammas that the transition to having two seemed easier than the transition with the first baby, so that's encouraging, too.  
    DD #1 Eva- April 2011
    DD #2 Violet- October 2013
    DD#3 Due New Year's Eve 2016


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