How long is too long to breastfeed your child

HappyDoc · August 2013

Alright ladies, what is your opinion on this one?

I am a FTM, and am going to try breastfeeding, and at this point am going to try to commit to 6 months (judge if you will). While I know it is natural, there is something odd to me about seeing a child breastfeed if they are old enough to carry on a conversation (again, roll your eyes if you want).

Anyone have strong opinions on this topic?

dltate29 · August 2013

I would like to hear opinions on this as well since I am also a FTM and not sure how long I should try to BF for.

ccip82 · August 2013

I think this decision is a personal one. I would not think anything different of a mother who nursed for two weeks or two years. I say this a lot, but to each their own.

sugarland726 · August 2013

You should breastfeed for as long as you and LO want to. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. Seriously. What they think should have no bearing on what you choose to do.

Misskara19 · August 2013

Well in my opinion, whenever mom and baby are ready. If after 6 months you're like okay I'm done, then wean. If you feel you can go a year, or two, then go for it. Don't let other people tell you how to feed your child- take even what your doctor says with a grain of salt. My mom nursed me til I was 9 months, my sister for only three (mom needed a root canal). I have a friend who still occasionally nurses her 3 year old, a friend who is weaning her one-year-old twins. Whatever makes you feel happy and accomplished. I encourage breastfeeding for at least a year but I totally understand being uncomfortable physically and emotionally after just a few months. Hope that helps

ccip82 · August 2013

My original goal was 6 months, then that turned into 9 months, then one year, until we finally weaned at 19 1/2 months.

Yes, my DD was at the point where she could ask for boobies.

If your goal is not to buy formula, then the goal would be one year. It is recommended that you wait to give cows milk until your baby is one year old.

rowanthefrog · August 2013

This question is likely to bring out some very strong feelings actually. I think that you should breastfeed as long as it is working out for both of you. My plan was to BF my first for one year. One year came and neither of us were quite ready to stop. I nursed both my boys until around 16 months. I have friends who have nursed well past 2. I don't think its weird, but it just wasn't for me. I was ready to be done and my boys weaned pretty easily.

There are many studies that show that BFing at least 6 months gives your baby the maximum benefits, but there are certainly benefits to continuing after that. However, I believe that even if you BF for just a few days or a week, you are giving your baby SOMETHING.

I think its a personal decision to be made by each mom so I do not judge those who nurse longer than the norm.

A

LimeDrops · August 2013

Theoretically, I think breast feeding is wonderful and natural and you should do it as long as that's what works for your family. Embarrassingly though, and I'm not proud of this, I have to admit that seeing anything much beyond 2 years sort of makes me... Feel a little awkward I guess is the best way to put it? But I recognize that's a societal thing and I'm trying to get over it.

SunflowersBride · August 2013

HappyDoc said:

Alright ladies, what is your opinion on this one?

I am a FTM, and am going to try breastfeeding, and at this point am going to try to commit to 6 months (judge if you will). While I know it is natural, there is something odd to me about seeing a child breastfeed if they are old enough to carry on a conversation (again, roll your eyes if you want).

Anyone have strong opinions on this topic?

If your 6 month old is carrying on a conversation, you should get that kid a MENSA membership!

As for me, I'm a FTM and planning to breastfeed for a year. But I personally don't care how long other people choose to breastfeed, as it has no bearing on my own life.

rowanthefrog · August 2013

Both the World Heath Organization and the American Academy of pediatrics recommends BFing for 6 months.

https://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/AAP-Reaffirms-Breastfeeding-Guidelines.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token

A

SweetPeaKate · August 2013

My goal with DS was to do it as long as it worked for both of us. Turns out that was 14 months. It is most definitely up to you (and your baby.) And while I could never envision myself doing it beyond 2 years, I am glad I had the 14 months and I was ready to be done. I really wanted to go straight from nursing to whole milk, but with having a preemie, we had to do formula for an extra 3-4 months.

Do what works for you. Everyone has different views on this. You will find your own while you are in the midst of it. You could HATE it after 3 months, or not want to stop at 6. Give yourself some time to find a groove and go with the flow mama!

Lucky613 · August 2013

I breastfed for 22 months, just weaned a month ago. AAP recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, WHO recommends 2 years. I think (with anything regarding parenting), that your opinions change when you're involved in it. I was of the 'I'm done when he's old enough to ask for it' but then realized he asked for it from day one, his communication just became more sophisticated. I also opted to rarely NIP after one, it was what i was comfortable with.

ETA that before nursing I thought I agreed with the " old enough to ask= too old to BF" idea but once involved, I learned that communication is rooting, sucking, etc. PSA and slightly OT those wanting to BF should YouTube "breast crawl." It is a newborn crawling to the breast.... absolutely amazing.

bookkitten · August 2013

I hate when people say you should stop BF when the child is old enough to ask for it. Babies ask without words from the day they are born. I BF my son until he self-weaned a couple of weeks ago (a little older than 2); my supply dried up with this pregnancy or we might still be going. That said, how long someone else chooses to nurse their child has no real bearing on my life. Likewise, if someone chooses to not nurse at all, none of my business. I don't know her reasoning or experience and she owes me no explanation. As long as a parent feeds her child with love, I don't care how she does it or how long she may or may not BF.

HeartOverMind · August 2013

I would like to BF for at least a year, but we shall see how it goes. I'm a FTM, and I've heard that BF can be pretty painful and can be a struggle for other reasons.

But I know a lot of you say that you wouldn't judge a mother who chooses to BF their child for however long..well I babysat a little girl when I was in college and she was almost four and still being BF. I thought that was ridiculous, but her parents thought it was funny and just let their daughter dictate what she wanted ( and of course she wanted the boob!) She would stand up on the bed and in a full sentence ask for the milk. They would do all of this in front of me. I definitely gave them the side eyes for that.

They went as far as separating the little girl from her mother for about a week so they could "wean" her, but when the mom came back she went straight back to BF. I'm sure by now the little girl no longer BF, but I think that is far too long and weird!

jldubb0626 · August 2013

I only was able to breastfeed until 9 months, but hope to make it a year with this one. I think it's a very personal decision. IMO - if you're going to breastfeed at least attempt a full year so you can avoid paying for expensive formula and go right to whole cows milk (or whatever else you decide to do). Extended breastfeeding has a multitude of benefits. Le Leche League's website has a lot of good articles on the benefits.

bookkitten · August 2013

BF into - and past - toddlerhood is not uncommon in other parts of the world. There's a fascinating article about the BF culture in Mongolia, "Breastfeedingin the Land of Ghengis Khan" and how that contrasts to the more common experience in the US/Canada.

purplepenguin2011 · August 2013

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

litzo27 · August 2013

HappyDoc said:

Alright ladies, what is your opinion on this one?

I am a FTM, and am going to try breastfeeding, and at this point am going to try to commit to 6 months (judge if you will). While I know it is natural, there is something odd to me about seeing a child breastfeed if they are old enough to carry on a conversation (again, roll your eyes if you want).

Anyone have strong opinions on this topic?

Yep, rolling my eyes. But I'm also ok with you rolling your eyes at my nursing 2 year old.

I think it's a very personal decision. However, I am a BF advocate and when appropriate love to share information regarding BF (such as the WHO recommendations pointed out by PP). If you forced me to put a number on it I would say that nursing a school-aged child (i.e. past 5) would seem weird to me. But then again, maybe not if I lived in Mongolia and saw it frequently.

SunflowersBride · August 2013

I would guess that the WHO recommendation probably has a lot to do with the fact that much of the world still deals with unclean drinking water and malnutrition, in which case it makes a ton of sense to continue to breastfeed up through age 2. I don't doubt there are many benefits to extended breastfeeding, but my guess is they are not as important in first world countries as in many other places around the world (but again, I agree with doing what you feel is best for yourself and your child).

bookkitten · August 2013

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I guess I don't see what's wrong with a toddler receiving comfort from his mother through nursing as opposed to a pacifier?

bensmommy518 · August 2013

My personal goal was always exclusive BF for one year and then totally weaned by 18 months but there really is no right and wrong answer to this. It is a personal decision and also based on what you and baby are able to do. I know several people that desperately wanted to BF and couldn't so please don't get too attached to the idea of any one way of feeding. Just feed you kid however you can. Different people will have different views on extended BF but frankly it is none of their business.

BuckeyeANG · August 2013

bookkitten said:

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I guess I don't see what's wrong with a toddler receiving comfort from his mother through nursing as opposed to a pacifier?

For me personally 1 year was when I was very ready to be done BFing. I only did it that long because he had to have formula or breastmilk until a year and I wasn't about to start pumping or paying for formula when we had made it for so long. I personally would be wanting to take away a pacifier by that age too, but my kid is a thumb sucker and I can't take away his thumb so there ya have it.

If it doesn't work for you to go past a year, that's fine, but other mothers feel differently and I don't judge them for that. I also don't judge women who don't breastfeed at all.

ccip82 · August 2013

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I really do not want to turn this into a BF vs. Not BF debate, but if you do some research there are many benefits of nursing past one year- if that is something you wish to do with your LO.

Again, I refuse to judge any mother's decision when it comes to feeding her baby-but there is more to nursing past a year than just comfort.

wedbliss5 · August 2013

This reminds me of the Desperate Housewives episode where Lynette gave a little boy chocolate milk (he was maybe 5 or 6 I think) to get his mother to wean him.

I am a huge supporter of BFing and loved nursing DD. However, I do think nursing a 2nd grader is severely pushing the line. I get that breastmilk is still good for them, it just seems oogey to me.

cpm1223 · August 2013

Personally I'm hoping to make it to one year and then see how things are going. If LO isn't interested anymore than I obviously won't push it, but if LO is interested, I'll keep on going for a bit longer.

I don't care how long any one else BFs for or if they don't at all, I think it's really just up to the mother and child.

(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

purplepenguin2011 · August 2013

ccip82 said:

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I really do not want to turn this into a BF vs. Not BF debate, but if you do some research there are many benefits of nursing past one year- if that is something you wish to do with your LO.

Again, I refuse to judge any mother's decision when it comes to feeding her baby-but there is more to nursing past a year than just comfort.

It's definitely not a debate about BF vs. Not b/c i'm not against BF by any means. It's just always been the length of the "feeding".

BuckeyeANG said:

bookkitten said:

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I guess I don't see what's wrong with a toddler receiving comfort from his mother through nursing as opposed to a pacifier?

For me personally 1 year was when I was very ready to be done BFing. I only did it that long because he had to have formula or breastmilk until a year and I wasn't about to start pumping or paying for formula when we had made it for so long. I personally would be wanting to take away a pacifier by that age too, but my kid is a thumb sucker and I can't take away his thumb so there ya have it.

If it doesn't work for you to go past a year, that's fine, but other mothers feel differently and I don't judge them for that. I also don't judge women who don't breastfeed at all.

There is nothing wrong with comforting your child, but at some point it just becomes a habit just like pacifiers or sucking your thumb. As a parent, I feel you have to ween your children off of all of those things.

BuckeyeANG · August 2013

cpm1223 said:

Personally I'm hoping to make it to one year and then see how things are going. If LO isn't interested anymore than I obviously won't push it, but if LO is interested, I'll keep on going for a bit longer.
I don't care how long any one else BFs for or if they don't at all, I think it's really just up to the mother and child.
(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

No he never intentionally bit me, although when his top teeth were coming in they rubbed my nipples and I got sores from it. I do know people whose LO's bite but you can teach them not to (ie: immediately end the nursing session, say no really loud, and put them down).

cpm1223 · August 2013

BuckeyeANG said:

cpm1223 said:

Personally I'm hoping to make it to one year and then see how things are going. If LO isn't interested anymore than I obviously won't push it, but if LO is interested, I'll keep on going for a bit longer.
I don't care how long any one else BFs for or if they don't at all, I think it's really just up to the mother and child.
(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

No he never intentionally bit me, although when his top teeth were coming in they rubbed my nipples and I got sores from it. I do know people whose LO's bite but you can teach them not to (ie: immediately end the nursing session, say no really loud, and put them down).

That hurts just thinking about it! Thank you for giving me some insight on it and tips on what to do!

BuckeyeANG · August 2013

BuckeyeANG said:

cpm1223 said:

Personally I'm hoping to make it to one year and then see how things are going. If LO isn't interested anymore than I obviously won't push it, but if LO is interested, I'll keep on going for a bit longer.
I don't care how long any one else BFs for or if they don't at all, I think it's really just up to the mother and child.
(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

No he never intentionally bit me, although when his top teeth were coming in they rubbed my nipples and I got sores from it. I do know people whose LO's bite but you can teach them not to (ie: immediately end the nursing session, say no really loud, and put them down).

That hurts just thinking about it! Thank you for giving me some insight on it and tips on what to do!

Hopefully it never happens to you, but if it does I hope we are all still posting and can help eachother out! Breastfeeding requires a lot of support at every stage. That sounded very kumbayah, but its true.

wedbliss5 · August 2013

cpm1223 said:

(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

I think DD bit once or twice once she started getting teeth, but never really hard and never drew blood. The best advice I read was IF you get bit, remove the child from your breast and tell them no biting - but do NOT give a big reaction or freak out, since that can turn it into a game.

Also, if I remember right, biting can be a sign of them not getting enough milk, so it might be time to switch to the other side or you might need to keep an eye on your supply. Someone correct me here if I'm wrong!

ccip82 · August 2013

purplepenguin2011 said:

ccip82 said:

purplepenguin2011 said:

I don't know ladies...I guess i'm going to be devils advocate, but I just don't get it past the age of 1. I mean once they are eating table food that is where they are getting their nourishment from. Breast milk isn't really "feeding" at that point. I just plain don't get it. it seems like it's just a comfort/habit at that point for both parties.

I really do not want to turn this into a BF vs. Not BF debate, but if you do some research there are many benefits of nursing past one year- if that is something you wish to do with your LO.

Again, I refuse to judge any mother's decision when it comes to feeding her baby-but there is more to nursing past a year than just comfort.
It's definitely not a debate about BF vs. Not b/c i'm not against BF by any means. It's just always been the length of the "feeding".

I understand where you are coming from, but the point I was trying to make in my previous post was listing the benefits of BFing past one year would not really help at this point. If women are interested enough in extended BFing, there are many, many resources out there that can help them.

ccip82 · August 2013

cpm1223 said:

Personally I'm hoping to make it to one year and then see how things are going. If LO isn't interested anymore than I obviously won't push it, but if LO is interested, I'll keep on going for a bit longer.

I don't care how long any one else BFs for or if they don't at all, I think it's really just up to the mother and child.

(a ? for you BTDT Moms, and it's probably stupid, but do your LOs' bite you once they have teeth? My friend who doesn't BF has a 1 year old who bites shoulders/arms etc. occasionally and I couldn't help but wonder if she was BFing would she be getting bit by her LO?)

DD bit me once and yes it really hurt at the time, but she never did it again. My MIL would tell me all. the. time. "Just wait until she gets her top and bottom teeth, you will stop BFing then." I seriously wanted to tell her to just STFU.

halfthetree · August 2013

as long as your child wants to? They self wean, you won't be Breastfeeding an 8 year old. My son weaned at 3, it was perfect. It worked for us and this next babe will wean when he or she is ready to, be it 18 months or 3 years. No sense comparing to other people, it's a very personal decision based on your relationship with your child.

juliasmama2010 · August 2013

This is just my personal opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. If the kid is old enough to say "Mommy Booby", it's too old for me. I tried BF with DD but was unable to do so due to low milk supply and, apparently, a bad latch and really sore nipples. I am going to try again with this LO and I would be thrilled if I could make it to a year. Formula is NOT cheap (has actually gone up $2 since DD stopped drinking it) and I would like to avoid it at all costs, if possible! Sore nips be damned, I'm gonna give this all I got!!

bookkitten · August 2013

purplepenguin2011 said:

There is nothing wrong with comforting your child, but at some point it just becomes a habit just like pacifiers or sucking your thumb. As a parent, I feel you have to ween your children off of all of those things.

This has not been my experience, but I respect your right to wean your child when you see fit. I do want to add that as adults, we often have habits we engage in for comfort - have a cup of tea, listen to a favorite song, call a close friend... If a toddler's age-appropriate way of finding comfort is nursing and his mother is comfortable with that, rock on.

ccip82 · August 2013

I know many of these are people's personal opinions, but my DD was able to say "Mommy booby" by 12 months old. Just as I would never question or think it is weird for a mother to stop BFing her LO at one month, I also would never question or think it is weird for a mother to continue BFing her toddler.

BuckeyeANG · August 2013

bookkitten said:

purplepenguin2011 said:

There is nothing wrong with comforting your child, but at some point it just becomes a habit just like pacifiers or sucking your thumb. As a parent, I feel you have to ween your children off of all of those things.

This has not been my experience, but I respect your right to wean your child when you see fit. I do want to add that as adults, we often have habits we engage in for comfort - have a cup of tea, listen to a favorite song, call a close friend... If a toddler's age-appropriate way of finding comfort is nursing and his mother is comfortable with that, rock on.

Agreed, and I think the key phrase you used is "if his mother is comfortable". I personally was not comfortable past a certain age and it sounds like @purplepenguin2011 also has an "age limit". I do get a little irritated when its suggested that the child should choose when to wean as if the mom's opinion doesn't matter. If the mom is fine with waiting for the child to self wean, that's great. If not, that's great too IMO.

This isn't directed at anyone here, but I have gotten that vibe from moms I know IRL.

bookkitten · August 2013

@BuckeyeANG, I agree that a mother should giver consideration to her own needs/comfort level as well as her child's. If a mother has an "age limit," that is her business and I would never tell her she should continue despite her own discomfort. Again, as long as a baby is loved and fed, however that feeding takes place, the mother is a rock star.

I met a mother once at a LLL meeting who wanted to have a second child but was afraid her son would be upset or that her milk supply would dry up and so she was waiting until whenever he decided he didn't want to nurse anymore. Perhaps an extreme example of a mother completely subjugating her own wishes, but one that I think is not entirely uncommon.

I also wanted to link to one other article about nursing in other cultures, "Why African Babies Don't Cry." Partly because it speaks to comfort nursing and partly because I love the article and just want to share.

Firefly9 · August 2013

It's your own choice--what you want to do, what your child wants to do, what you are comfortable with, etc. *Personally,* I think a year is enough for me. I quit EPing at a year last time and plan to quit nursing/pumping at year this time, too. I have friends still nursing their two year olds and that's fine.

But I do think nursing a 5 year old is pushing it....

Dishylo · August 2013

Who even knows if I'll be able to BF....a very good friend of mine had all of these grand plans and in the end, her milk never came in so it was formula from day one.

Ideally 6, 9 or 12 months depending on how it goes.

I agree with PP's that you should stop when it's right for you and LO. However (and that's one heck of a however) I do think that BFing a 5 or 6 year old child is wrong. I'm sorry if that offends anybody but it's my personal opinion....there's nutrients, vitamins galore in food these days, what do they need breast milk for? Also, I would feel uncomfortable if I saw that happening (but at the same time I'd just walk away and not make [or try not to make] the mother feel uncomfortable).

LexGator · August 2013

I do have a strong opinion on this ...

It's different for every mother and entirely dependent on your relationship with your child and his/her wants and needs. I'm not willing to put a "limit" on what is socially acceptable BFing because that experience is one between a mother and child -- and no one else (and no one else's business, to be honest).

If you're looking for guidance on how long to BF your baby, then follow his or her cues and your mutual desires, keeping in mind the many benefits of nursing for the first year of life. If you're looking for the socially acceptable point to start judging mothers who extended breastfeed, just don't.

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