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You know what sucks?

HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
in Blended Families

Being the NCP and step parent and knowing you can't FIX things that need fixing.

You can do your best to make things right when the kids are with you, but really the lack of time is a huge suck!

It also will bite us in the butts someday.

We will all suffer; kids included. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!

Sorry for stating he obvious but just had to vent a little.

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Re: You know what sucks?

  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    edited August 2013
    Yes. This year I gave up on SD1s eating habits. We get along much better. She eats nutella and Luna bars for the most part. She goes to her moms and eats crap all year so I quit!
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member

    THAT is one of things I'm talking about. The eating or lack there of with SD. I just can't fight the fight anymore. It's been 4.5 weeks and dinner is the ONLY time I make them eat at the table with us and 4.5 weeks of EVERY FREAKING DINNER with tears/whines/etc. SERIUOUSLY EVERY SINGLE DINNER without fail. EVERY ONE.

    I give up. I am not going to suddenly get her to eat properly when the remaining x # of weeks she isn't made to. I am just happy I at least get them TO the table. She can drink her juice eat her whatever she will eat and I'll just go along the next week and a half at least more peaceful.

    DH would've given up in week one but NOOOOooooo I thought I was smarter/wiser/more determined and would have a breakthrough vs. breakdown. Forget it.

     

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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    Hopeforthebest said:

    Being the NCP and step parent and knowing you can't FIX things that need fixing.

    You can do your best to make things right when the kids are with you, but really the lack of time is a huge suck!

    It also will bite us in the butts someday.

    We will all suffer; kids included. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!

    Sorry for stating he obvious but just had to vent a little.

    I could have written this myself ...

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    Ditto to what all the previous posters said. For me the hardest part of being a SM is seeing an amazing kid not live up to his potential. I know that with any sort of attention at all, SS would do better in school, sports and function more independently. Instead his mom has him convinced that nothing in life is worth working for. We can encourage all we want but the lack of time makes it pretty near impossible for any real changes.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    Lavender P said:
    Ditto to what all the previous posters said. For me the hardest part of being a SM is seeing an amazing kid not live up to his potential. I know that with any sort of attention at all, SS would do better in school, sports and function more independently. Instead his mom has him convinced that nothing in life is worth working for. We can encourage all we want but the lack of time makes it pretty near impossible for any real changes.

    EX-ACTLY!


     

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  • redrae78redrae78 member
    What sucks even harder is constantly fighting all these little unneeded battles and then having the BM say you know what I can't deal with him anymore he is your problem now and dumping the kid off at your door.  Then you get to work on undoing all the damage the 8 years he spent in her care did.  That really SUCKS!!!!!  Sorry needed to vent.  :(
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    It's really difficult especially when the SK is with you quite frequently.  We have K 40% of the time and I feel like we are constantly trying to "fix" things that have occurred when she's with BM.  As soon as I pick her up on Tuesdays and Thursdays it's like we're battling again about food choices, reminding her that we don't watch TV during the week, making sure she is using manners and proper table etiquette.  It drives me up the wall sometimes.  How do you seriously forget things in one frigging day?

    Sometimes I feel like the meanest person in the world because K is constantly telling me "My mom doesn't make me do that" or "My mom says it's ok if I do this".  Then here I am saying "no" to a lot of stuff because I don't allow the other kids to do it.  
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  • workitmom84workitmom84 member
    edited August 2013


    Edit: Couldn't delete my comment, sorry. 
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  • KendraL86KendraL86 member
    The food battles can be hard, but the whining and tears probably aren't about the food (I assume you're not making them eat liver or anything). It's about control. I encourage you to stick to your guns. It does get better when they know you won't back down. Kids are capable of following multiple sets of rules and adapting to them (school, playground, moms house, dads house, etc all have different rules and requirements, and most kids manage just fine).
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