Working Moms

Newbie and issue with thief at work

Hi All,
I am new here and was not sure where else to go to get advice on a work issue. My counterpart at work, who I spend the most time with, has told me on multiple occasions about how she steals things. From what I know she does not steal from work but for example she will order items online (watches, camera, clothes etc.) and just say she never received them and demand a refund. So she never actually pays for anything she buys. For some reason it really upsets me that she is getting away with this because it is wrong, and I hate having to work with someone like that who has no moral compass of what's right and wrong. I have never confronted her about it because I have to work with her very closely and don't want to make things uncomfortable. But it is bothering me more and more when she brags about the stuff she is stealing. Today she came in with her new Micheal Kors watch she stole bragging about it...ugh. Any thoughts on how I should handle her without creating drama?

Re: Newbie and issue with thief at work

  • If she's not stealing from work I would leave it alone, honestly. If she's bragging to you she's going to tell someone who...matters isn't the right word...but, who has to the power to fire her or halt her career. It will get around.

    Perhaps email some of the companies and say "so and so person" is doing this and maybe there's some blacklist she can be put on. I don't know how she's getting away with that. Most stuff is shipped with a tracking number.
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  • Wow, she sounds like a real piece of work.  Next time she brings it up I would just tell her that I would rather not know about that because it makes me uncomfortable, and leave it at that.  Definitely don't let her get your credit card number.  Other than that, I am not sure there is much you can do about it.  Karma will catch up to her eventually.
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  • If you don't want to get into the drama of reporting her (and, if it were me as angry as her actions make me, I would not want to get in the middle of this situation),  I would simply tell her that you don't want to hear about how she steals things.  It's not cool and not information you want to be party to.  Or, you could just say something like, "hey, the rest of us have to pay for the things we have so I don't want to hear how you get stuff for free."

    Or, if you don't want to have that kind of confrontation with her, just try to ignore it as best you can.  Chances are, as pp suggsted, she's bragging to others and the wrong (or rather, right) person is going to find out.

    And, I would keep my own business close to the vest.  She does not sound like someone who can be trusted - either because she's a thief or a compulsive liar.  I wouldn't want a person like that knowing too much about my life.

     

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  • I wouldn't bring anything up to the people work, b/c it has nothing to do with work. I would say to her, though, that you're not interested in these kinds of stories, then change the subject. After that, if she keeps bringing it up, just keep changing the subject. If she still doesn't get it, you can be a little clearer about your opinion of what she's doing - "I really don't agree with what you're doing and I don't enjoy your stories. It's starting to affect our work together." Then you can just walk away if she ever starts in with another story again. You couldn't have been clearer.

    Hopefully it's not drawn out like that and she gets it right away, but b/c you work with her, you have to keep your eyes on the big picture in the long run (which is your ability to do your job well with minimal drama) and you have to approach this like it is a longterm problem that may have to be "managed" instead "fixed."
  • Yes! I keep hoping "karma" will catch up to her, except she keeps showing up with new stuff. Grrr. Thanks for the advice though. I will just find a way to tell her I am not interested in hearing about her escapades.
  • She definitely cant be trusted. But since I have to work with her I am forced to interact with her. I am not even going to go into the other questionably immoral things she says. Thanks for the advice.
  • hochgirl said:
    Yes! I keep hoping "karma" will catch up to her, except she keeps showing up with new stuff. Grrr. Thanks for the advice though. I will just find a way to tell her I am not interested in hearing about her escapades.
    Karma actually will catch up to her and probably pretty quickly. The businesses she's ordering from are keeping records and likely FedEx, UPS, and the USPS are, too. What she's doing is probably a federal crime b/c she's ordering things in one state and having them delivered in another. Any crime involving the USPS is certainly federal - mail fraud, maybe. But she is absolutely not doing what she's doing anonymously. You could also be compelled to be a witness against her, b/c she's confessed so much. Might be a reason that would deter her from talking to you, eh?
  • edited August 2013
    hochgirl said:
    Yes! I keep hoping "karma" will catch up to her, except she keeps showing up with new stuff. Grrr. Thanks for the advice though. I will just find a way to tell her I am not interested in hearing about her escapades.
    Karma actually will catch up to her and probably pretty quickly. The businesses she's ordering from are keeping records and likely FedEx, UPS, and the USPS are, too. What she's doing is probably a federal crime b/c she's ordering things in one state and having them delivered in another. Any crime involving the USPS is certainly federal - mail fraud, maybe. But she is absolutely not doing what she's doing anonymously. You could also be compelled to be a witness against her, b/c she's confessed so much. Might be a reason that would deter her from talking to you, eh?
    Yeah, I would imagine that all these companies absolutely keep track of reported "losses".  This woman isn't the first person to come up w/ this brilliant idea. 

    ETA: and as such, you could say "I would really rather not hear about this.  What you're doing is illegal and chances are eventually it will catch up with you.  I don't want to know anything about it or have any involvement.".
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  • The next time she says "Oh, look at this awesome designer bag I got - I told Amazon the package never came so I got a refund!" could you just say "Wow, that's really awful" and then turn away and get back to work?

    I'd try to just cut off conversations about non-work stuff and keep it focused on work. 
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  • I would try to come up with something to scare her in to not sharing her illegial activities with you.

    Maybe, "Gosh, you share so many details about your illegal activities with me that I can't help but wonder why.  Are you secretly hoping that I'll alert the authorities?  Because I certainly don't want to be your accomplace!"  And let her stammer her way out of it.  I bet she shuts up.

    And, yes. Karma will get her.  And so might the authorities.

  • My father works for the security department at a large, international shipping company. They keep track of people like this. It will catch up with her eventually. In the meantime, keep work at work and home at home so to say. And watch your personal information.
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