Am i doing something wrong?

rsheehan10 · August 2013

Sorry in advance for the lengthy post. We started sleep training 8 days ago which has gone relatively well. He can put himself to sleep in under 5 minutes with no crying. However, it has not lessened the amount of night wakings. He still wakes between 3 to 6 times a night. I attribute a lot of this to the 4 month wakeful however it has been going on over 7 weeks and he is a little over 4 months old. His times of wake ups are 11, 1,3,5 and 7 for the day. He only eats once a night usually between 3 and 5. He has not mastered putting himself back to sleep yet and I do not expect him to learn that this fast. I also know he is not ready to drop his MOTN feeding. Also, around 1 or 3 wake up he is done sleeping in his crib. I have tried patting his back, putting the paci in, letting him fuss. He is just done. So I inevitably swaddle him and put him in his RNP ( I know I am going 2 steps backward). I do this because I am afraid he will not get sleep and I know its not healthy for him. I am afraid to let him cry in the MOTN because I am afraid he will get to worked up and not go back to sleep at all. Plus, my DH and I work full time and have to be somewhat rested for the next day.

My questions to you all are:

1. When do they master putting themselves back to sleep once you are sleep training?

2. How can I get him to stay in the crib?!

3. is this normal?

Thank you all for any advice.

lafayettegirl · August 2013

I think a lot of this is normal. We struggled with sleep issues like this and at 4 months, we were starting to sleep train and it felt like it wasn't going anywhere. Here we are, a couple of months later, and DS can put himself back to sleep except for rare occasions. Generally he sleeps from 7:30 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. with only one interruption for a bottle around 1:00 a.m.

I can't comment on the crib issue - we put DS in the crib from Day 1. However, as with other things they need to learn, if you pacify him by removing him from the crib and putting him in the RNP, you are not teaching him to stay in the crib. It stinks to have to go to work after a night (or several) without sleep, but I think at some point, you are going to have to keep him in the crib.

If it helps, our plan was to start with sleep training on a Friday night. That way we slogged through the weekend and hoped that by Monday we were able to be somewhat refreshed. (we work jobs that don't include weekends.) My suggestion would be to wait until Friday, then begin with the not moving to a RNP. Yes, he will cry, but even the most angry babies will wear themselves out and have to sleep. It might not be until Saturday sometime. Stay in the room with him if it helps. We also found that, when DS is crying in the middle of the night, a hand on the head and a hand on the bottom helps to calm him.

Every baby and every parent is different in how they handle this stuff. No judging on my part, I swear. I just believe that we have to teach these guys about sleeping and that if what you are trying to teach and what they want are two different things, a struggle will ensue. Ultimately, you have to find a way to ensure that you are getting them where you want them to be. If that is in his crib and not in his RNP, then eliminate the possibility of the RNP. Take it out of the house, so you are not tempted. It will be a harsh couple of nights, but babies learn quickly and he'll figure out soon enough that crying won't get him to the RNP and then he'll learn to be happy in his crib.

Or you can just wait until he outgrows the RNP.

Again, no judging. Just wishing you lots of luck. We all struggle with it. You'll find a way that works for your family!!

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