Breaking up with breast feeding...WWYD

silvercamaro77 · August 2013

I'm going to admit that I didn't read any of the replies.

I've worked with a wonderful lactation consultant and regularly attended her BFing support group for the last 18 months. What I've seen her suggest in somewhat similar situations is what she calls a baby moon. You take 2-3 days and stay in bed with baby skin to skin.

Pack a cooler full of food and drinks if you have to but don't leave baby other than to potty. Snuggle him really good and gently offer the breast periodically but don't stress if he doesn't take it. You want to help recreate a sense of security and calmness at the breast and the peaceful snugly skin to skin will usually do that because the smell is generally appealing to babies and being calmed around it can be enticing enough to get him to latch on his own.

FeetFirst · August 2013

I just wanted to say that everyone gave you awesome advice on this topic. I was in the same boat with my son and gave it 3 weeks before throwing in the towel after much tears. It all turned out fine of course but I remember the feelings you are having now.

Keep your chin up and remember that no one can tell you what is best for your baby, period. So refreshing ( and not a shock) that the August 13 ladies all agree with that. You owe no explanations to anyone. I quit for ME when I did, for my sanity. And no one except myself judged me in the end. No one else really cared. LoL

11dematosk · August 2013

silvercamaro77 said:
I'm going to admit that I didn't read any of the replies.

I've worked with a wonderful lactation consultant and regularly attended her BFing support group for the last 18 months. What I've seen her suggest in somewhat similar situations is what she calls a baby moon. You take 2-3 days and stay in bed with baby skin to skin.

Pack a cooler full of food and drinks if you have to but don't leave baby other than to potty. Snuggle him really good and gently offer the breast periodically but don't stress if he doesn't take it. You want to help recreate a sense of security and calmness at the breast and the peaceful snugly skin to skin will usually do that because the smell is generally appealing to babies and being calmed around it can be enticing enough to get him to latch on his own.

No offense but this does not sound very practical to me. If she says she needs a break for her sanity how is a two day "baby moon" of sitting in bed and doing nothing going to help things? I'm sure she has things she needs to get done during the day. Just because you're a mother doesn't mean you don't have a life. Good luck @Ikobriant if things aren't working its perfectly ok to FF. do what's best for you and your LO.

silvercamaro77 · August 2013

My impression was that much of her stress is related to baby not eating thus a couple of days of low key no pressure snuggling and just enjoying the closeness of baby might help her too especially if it ends up helping LO get back to nursing which seemed to be what she hoped to do if there were a way that wouldn't stress them out more.

I know it can be ridiculously hard especially the first several weeks. I nearly lost my mind BFing DD but I ended up really happy with my decision to find a way to get through. I think the most important thing is that you're happy with whatever you decide to do.

DaisyMaeMommy · August 2013

11dematosk said:
No offense but this does not sound very practical to me. If she says she needs a break for her sanity how is a two day "baby moon" of sitting in bed and doing nothing going to help things? I'm sure she has things she needs to get done during the day. Just because you're a mother doesn't mean you don't have a life. Good luck @Ikobriant if things aren't working its perfectly ok to FF. do what's best for you and your LO.

It's not practical. But if you're serious about making BFing work, then you'd try it.

I'm not saying OP should or should not do it, but she did ask for advice. And she's being given good advice.

lkobriant · August 2013

I just wanted to update. I got so much wonderful advice and I really feel like we attacked this from all angles. In the end we've decided to FF. I talked to the pediatrician about it to get her advice, which I knew would be a deal breaker one way or the other, and after really listening to all I had to say and all of my concerns she said that, although they like to see breast feeding work she knows its not practical or possible, for whatever reasons, for some families. And if FF is what it was going to take to make my family a 'happy, cohesive unit' then she was ok and supportive of that decision. At this point I really just don't feel like I have it in me to give 100% to trying to get him back on and he'll be back on a bottle in a few weeks when I go back to school and I fear at that point we'd be right back here and I just can't do it.

Maybe with #2 the situation will be a little better and I'll be much more educated going in and we can really work at it.

rab2006 · August 2013

Generally speaking, this was me with DD. From the start it just didn't seem to work. I knew goign in it would be difficult and painful to start. About 3-4 days after delivery we went for a weight check and she was still losing so the pediatrician suggested a lactation consultant. Went there and she did great while there. I paid attention and did literally everything she told me to when we got home. Within a day, it all fell apart again. I tried and tried (while pumping) for 2 weeks and finally gave up with the nursing and decided I'd try to pump exclusively. By 4 weeks I was just done. I was so stressed out, DD was stressed out, my supply wasn't going up to where the lactation consultant said it should even with change in diet and supplements. I decided that for my own sanity and that of my DD and husband, it was time to switch to formula. For me, it was so worth it in the end because i could actually enjoy feeding time vs being stressed and in constant tears thinking I was a failure in some way.

While you are always going to want to do what's best for your baby, through my experience, I do feel that sometimes what's best for your baby may just be what's actually best for you in the end. Yes, there's a huge push for breast is best, but if your in tears over it and beyond stressed out, I personally feel that maybe it's just not what's best in the end. Best wishes!!!!

hokiemel7 · August 2013

As someone who pumped for 7 months exclusively (latch issues) and hated almost every day of it, the best advice I can give is never quit on a bad day. That's what got me through the many, many tears and frustration. And like pp have said, a happy mommy means a happy baby. Take care of yourself first and don't worry about feeling like a bad mom, as long as he's getting fed that's ALL that matters. Good luck!

MoMmy Of GrAcE · August 2013

Do what you need to do to stay same and healthy yourself. The most important thing is that you FEED your baby. Period. It's so not worth an internal battle to stay on top of pumping. Pumping is crazy hard work, especially exclusively. I will pass on that jaundice babies are lazy feeders and its a struggle to get them to wake up long enough to feed. I'm surprised your nurses didn't have you pump and/or suggest supplementing from the start of your struggles. I'd guess they were trying to be supportive of your goal to bf. I had to supplement half of LO2's feedings for a week ad a half bc she was jaundice. I was able to transition her back to ebf, although ff is so tempting bc its so much quicker and easier.

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