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May 2012 Moms
willadieselstm
member
What would you do?
willadieselstm
member
So I have a really good friend who has an 19 month old son. Him and DS have had play dates since birth. 
Her son has always been a high needs baby. He had colic for the first few months, and since he has gotten into toddler hood he is SUPER attached to his mom, the dad can barely even pick him up without screaming. But my DS is a really laid back baby, he plays well on his own, and plays well with other kids. So when we get together now, my girl friend spends most of the time asking me how I get DS to be so good, or telling her son that he needs to act like Carter. I feel so bad for her. I mean admittedly her and I have very different parenting styles. I was more of a cry it out, laid back mom, and she is more attachment parenting. Which is totally fine, I love hearing her ideas on things and exchanging our views, we are just different mommies. But lately I feel uncomfortable when she does this, and I feel like I have to apologize for my DS good behavior. I mean I don't know that I have done anything better, my DS just has a different personality, and definitely has his needy moments too. I guess I am just not sure how to handle her comments..
Her son has always been a high needs baby. He had colic for the first few months, and since he has gotten into toddler hood he is SUPER attached to his mom, the dad can barely even pick him up without screaming. But my DS is a really laid back baby, he plays well on his own, and plays well with other kids. So when we get together now, my girl friend spends most of the time asking me how I get DS to be so good, or telling her son that he needs to act like Carter. I feel so bad for her. I mean admittedly her and I have very different parenting styles. I was more of a cry it out, laid back mom, and she is more attachment parenting. Which is totally fine, I love hearing her ideas on things and exchanging our views, we are just different mommies. But lately I feel uncomfortable when she does this, and I feel like I have to apologize for my DS good behavior. I mean I don't know that I have done anything better, my DS just has a different personality, and definitely has his needy moments too. I guess I am just not sure how to handle her comments.. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What would you do?
As for your friend she may need to vent and be reafermed that she's a good momma even though her lo is being difficult, it's unlikely she truly wants you to tell her what you do that would make lo less clingy.
I agree with bellelamb -- it sounds like your friend is just feeling insecure and wanting some reassurance that it isn't her "fault" that her kid is high needs.
When I run into a situation where people are comparing their kid to mine, either positively or negatively, I just try to say something like "Isn't it so interesting how different they all are, and how they all have their own personalities right from the beginning? I'm sure they all go through these stages at some point", and then change the subject.
And that's actually truthful, since I am totally fascinated by child development now!