Weekend trip with a 1-2 week old...

caramia582 · August 2013

Looking for input from BTDT and/or moms who have just had their babies...

Every summer we go away to Cape Cod with the IL's, and we look forward to it every year. This year they are planning to go over Labor day weekend. Since LO has clearly decided he doesn't want to be born yet, it looks like he will be either 1-2 weeks old during Labor Day weekend. DH really REALLY wants to go and i would love for DS to go as well (I don't love the idea of them going without me because I don't want to be home alone plus I'm a bit of a control freak when it comes to DS and the thought of him being in a strange place overnight without me makes me nervous). I kind of want to go too. Am I crazy for thinking we can go and bring the baby? We are staying in a house with our own room, with my ILs, lots of support taking care of the kids... I'm thinking stay one night and then see how it goes before we decide to stay longer. I know this depends a lot on what kind of baby LO is, if he's really fussy/bad sleeper I'm sure I won't want to go, but who knows... he could be really laid back and just hang out all day too.

So, what would you do?

Millie1984 · August 2013

How far of a car ride would it be?

caramia582 · August 2013

Millie1984 said:

How far of a car ride would it be?

Probably about 2 hours...

MrsI · August 2013

For me it would depend on delivery. Vaginal I'd be up for it, CSec maybe if its closer to the 2 week mark. And obviously only if LO isn't colicky or anything like that. To me newborns are the easiest to travel with.

Millie1984 · August 2013

I'm a FTM, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think it could be doable since you are staying in a house, not a hotel, and will have family around to help you.

That being said, idk how much fun you will actually have. Imagine you will probably be pretty sleep deprived, and your LO won't be able to go out with you yet because he/she will be so small still (which poses a problem, even if your ILs would babysit, if you are planning to BF). Can you decide after your LO arrives and you can get a feel for how it will be?

BrideMay2005 · August 2013

As long as you and the baby are recovering well enough, I'd say go. My family will be going to the beach when this LO is around a month old and I can't wait to see everyone and have help with the baby. I went to the beach with my DS when he was a few weeks old and it was really nice.

With my first, I don't think I appreciated how portable babies are, especially if they are good sleepers in the car. The main drawback is all the stuff that they seem to need on trips, but it's a fair trade off for getting to go on vacation.

SarahinMD · August 2013

Would DS be I. Room with you? For me it would be one thing if I was sleep deprived, but another to have a sleep deprived, grumpy toddler. Otherwise, newborns Tavel pretty easily, I'd just have pretty low expectations for how "enjoyable" it would be for me, and hope to be pleasantly surprised. I'd also have a very direct and detailed conversation with DH about handling of duties with DS and LO otherwise I'd be worried I'd feel isolated and miserable...better to get it straight before you go.

caramia582 · August 2013

SarahinMD said:

Would DS be I. Room with you? For me it would be one thing if I was sleep deprived, but another to have a sleep deprived, grumpy toddler. Otherwise, newborns Tavel pretty easily, I'd just have pretty low expectations for how "enjoyable" it would be for me, and hope to be pleasantly surprised. I'd also have a very direct and detailed conversation with DH about handling of duties with DS and LO otherwise I'd be worried I'd feel isolated and miserable...better to get it straight before you go.

I did assume that DS would sleep in the bed with us, and LO would be next to us in the rock and play or something. I would likely be the one waking up with LO during the night but I'm sure the family will help out and let me sleep in in the morning. And YES to the conversation with DH... he means well but really loves being with his family and I see him floating off somewhere to hang out with his brother and cousin who he doesn't see a lot and forgetting his parental responsibilities... so yea, I hear you on that one.

JBrooks315 · August 2013

FTM but I think that if you feel up to a trip that soon after, it wouldn't be that much of a problem, especially since it is only about 2 hours away. DH and will probably make a 4 hour trip when LO is about a month old to visit our family that isn't coming down for the birth.

CelticWife · August 2013

Would it be enjoyable for you? Impossible to say. It really depends on your recovery and how well your newborn is doing.

Would I go for a day? No. I wouldn't think riding in a car for two hours each way (with newborn and toddler) would be worth it for a day. Definitely doable for a few days, though. And I would definitely appreciate the help with older DS.

(If you aren't up for it, you should definitely consider letting DS and DH go alone. They can have some bonding time, while you get to lavish attention on your new LO.)

plunderb · August 2013

We stayed over the weekend at my parents' house for a family birthday party when DD was three weeks old (about a 2-hr drive away). It was manageable, but I honestly have no memory of it. I was still so sleep-deprived and addled from pain meds that I was a zombie — if there weren't pictures of the trip, I wouldn't even remember that it happened.

sdegrootmom3 · August 2013

I am in the same boat as you I will be going on a labor day trip with DH and his family, we will also have our 2 year old and LO, who could be anywhere from 0-2 weeks old at this point as well. We will be going 3 hours away but DH already knows we will need to stop at will for LO to nurse, etc. I dont see any problems with it even if baby is "not easy" having all the extra people for help will allow you some resting time in between.

I took my DS with me a lot of places as a newborn and never had issues. I say go for it and enjoy!

boymamaco · August 2013

I'm a FTM who had a c-section on July 18th (pretty easy recovery for me personally). We've taken our LO to our mountain cabin twice - first time at two weeks. It's a 90 min - 2 hour drive depending on traffic. I make sure he nurses right before we leave and then nurse again when we get there. We had two pack way more stuff than usual and of course it took is forever to get packed up but it's great to be up there. I personally find it relaxing and enjoy the change of scenery. We were a bit nervous about the sleeping situation - ie would he be able to sleep at altitude, in a new place, etc. and would our friends who we share the condo with be understanding of all the changes, but it all worked out great. I did however get my pediatricians blessing to go up in altitude (we're at 5280 and the cabin is over 8000). He said as long as LO was above birth weight that we could go.

Sorry that was a lot of my own story weaves in there. Net-net as long as your LO is above birth weight you should be fine! Go enjoy yourself and let your inlaws help out!

caramia582 · August 2013

Thanks for the responses. I know a lot of it depends on how I'm feeling physically and when I think about it, I remember going to the mall at 1 week PP with DS and it took a lot out of me, and that was an easy recovery from a vaginal birth.

As for staying home, I guess I could warm up to the idea. My parents will likely be around so I could even stay with them. However as I mentioned DH gets a bit flighty and I feel like a lot of the child watching would fall on MIL and FIL... I know they wouldn't mind but I feel funny doing that when they're on "vacation"...

magdalina.h · August 2013

I wouldn't because I'm a crazy hormonal lady PP.

BellaOso · August 2013

STM here, just had my DD2 on the 31st.

Here is my take:
1. I would LOVE to go with supportive family members who I would enjoy being around, but remember that you WILL be bleeding during this time. Likely heavily, and changing pads every time you "go". Will you have your own bathroom for all your postpartum embarrassing goodies like Tucks, piles of bloody pads, your squirt bottle, etc.? I felt damn good 2 days after I delivered but I still had to consider this in the logistics of what we did post delivery. If you and your family are cool with it than awesome! Scratch it off the list.

2. No freaking way would I subject my toddler to the joy of a 1-2 weeks old newborns schedule. She is a champ of a sleeper but can be a real gremlin if she doesn't get enough restful, sleep. I would find out if there is another room my toddler could be in, but that is me. (My DD1 is 17ish month, just for reference.) If a family bed is what you plan on at home, then I suspect you are all systems go!

I definitely wouldn't rule out going but I would want these issues addressed upfront.

Also leave it loose a little and decide AFTER LO is here. You may feel much better, or much worse than you did with your first. You may also decide you want to stay home and snuggle with a fuzzy newborn and let the apron strings loosen up on your DS. You never know!

Soleil3 · August 2013

Id probably go, depending on delivery. Newbs are pretty easy to cart around.

caramia582 · August 2013

BellaOso said:

STM here, just had my DD2 on the 31st.

Here is my take:
1. I would LOVE to go with supportive family members who I would enjoy being around, but remember that you WILL be bleeding during this time. Likely heavily, and changing pads every time you "go". Will you have your own bathroom for all your postpartum embarrassing goodies like Tucks, piles of bloody pads, your squirt bottle, etc.? I felt damn good 2 days after I delivered but I still had to consider this in the logistics of what we did post delivery. If you and your family are cool with it than awesome! Scratch it off the list.

2. No freaking way would I subject my toddler to the joy of a 1-2 weeks old newborns schedule. She is a champ of a sleeper but can be a real gremlin if she doesn't get enough restful, sleep. I would find out if there is another room my toddler could be in, but that is me. (My DD1 is 17ish month, just for reference.) If a family bed is what you plan on at home, then I suspect you are all systems go!

I definitely wouldn't rule out going but I would want these issues addressed upfront.

Also leave it loose a little and decide AFTER LO is here. You may feel much better, or much worse than you did with your first. You may also decide you want to stay home and snuggle with a fuzzy newborn and let the apron strings loosen up on your DS. You never know!

As far as #1- I thought about it briefly but you're right, that's not fun at all and we would be sharing a bathroom with two SILs and two BILs (all wonderful, but a bit TMI for them especially the guys).

#2- I naively thought that if lo wakes up I can quickly take him out of the room into the living room to feed him/get him back to sleep. DS is a heavy sleeper so I would think if I take the baby out of the room quickly he won't wake up. Wishful thinking? Quite possibly.

Staying home is sound better right about now...

tokenhoser · August 2013

I'd send your DH and DS and stay home with the baby. I say this as a mom sitting here with a 1 week old - time with just me and the baby is pretty much a vacation. Add the 2 year old and it's so much crazier.

LJUTCMommy · August 2013

magdalina.h said:

I wouldn't because I'm a crazy hormonal lady PP.

This. Plus, I have a fussy, demanding baby. I'm afraid to taker her in public at all, let alone on a trip.

That.Just.Happened · August 2013

I think your LO would be totally fine. I think your decision is going to have to be made based on how YOU feel at the time. I personally wouldn't have wanted to be figuring out BFing in front of my ILs, but you may not have that hang up. And it could be nice to have extra hands & help, esp with your older son. But I would say that's a game time decision and going to be based on how you are feeling, physically & mentally.

laabeja · August 2013

I wouldn't even consider going.

Monilee1017 · August 2013

I had DS on friday by RCS and I am going to new jersey on next Thursday and long island on Sunday. This is about a 6 hour drive for me. Still a little sore but I have another week to heal and not really any option since it is DH's brothers wedding and both DH and my first son are in the wedding. If its something you want to do and you will have fun then go.

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