What will you do differently?

apollonia10 · August 2013

Now that we're TTC, I find myself reflecting on our time with newborn DS and thinking about what I'd do differently this time. I keep going to nebulous places like "I won't worry as much" or "I won't get so obsessed with breastfeeding" but I'm trying to be more specific.

For me, I'd wear the new baby as much as possible. I wore DS a little, but I didn't think I was doing it right so he didn't get used to it. I didn't get the K'Tan until he was a few months old, and I'd love to wear a newborn in it.

nesenotes · August 2013

Definitely cuddle him/her while sleeping. I would always put her down as soon as she was asleep. I wish I could go back and cuddle her now.

apollonia10 · August 2013

nesenotes said:

Definitely cuddle him/her while sleeping. I would always put her down as soon as she was asleep. I wish I could go back and cuddle her now.

This is a good one! DS was teething and miserable last night, and I cuddled him for a while after he finally fell asleep. I felt bad that he was hurting but he was so sweet sleeping there!

mandiek72512 · August 2013

Ask for help.
Not stress the small stuff.
Be more confident in my parenting abilities.

pinkangelmoon · August 2013

I could say I wouldn't stress out about bf'ing but the reality is I probably still will.

Not use the RnP for night sleeping. Yes they were great but I stressed out about how they would do once we transitioned to crib sleeping. So I'd probably use a PnP or cosleeper initially and transition to crib sooner.

I'm on the fence about cloth diapering. I didn't fully commit this time around (got lazy and tired of doing so.much.laundry) but not sure if only having one baby would help.

Apply the CTFD style of parenting

singingirl96 · August 2013

I dont' think I would do anything differently. I'm pretty happy with how I've done everything thus far.

SallySunrise · August 2013

I'm done having babies, but I am stalking this thread just dying for someone to say "hire a doula"... Pleeeeeeeeease, let me have influenced just one of you?? MN mommies, can I offer you a bumpie discount?

SallySunrise · August 2013

jnoone said: SallySunrise said: I'm done having babies, but I am stalking this thread just dying for someone to say "hire a doula"... Pleeeeeeeeease, let me have influenced just one of you?? MN mommies, can I offer you a bumpie discount?

But some of us did hire doulas, so that wouldn't be different. I'm sure you've planted the seed in some of the minds on this board, though.
Oh yes of course! I'm not by any means saying "why have none of you above said it?!" I'm just hoping that someone does!

>-

SallySunrise · August 2013

Ugh, why oh why oh WHY do my quotes sometimes look right and sometimes look wonky?! I don't understand!

aylafsu88 · August 2013

I would sleep more especially in the first 3 days. I was so wired and stressed out that I had to check on LO every time she made a noise. I was exhausted.

Accept more help. I was so emotional and embarrassed for people to see me that way. I should have had family/friends clean, watch the baby while I slept or bring meals over.

aylafsu88 · August 2013

hijoi said:

@aylafus88 I really believe it made a world of difference accepting that help.

I know it would have. I had horrible baby blues and was so embarrassed. I have vowed to myself that next time I am taking the help. I don't care if people see a people see me when I am a hot, unshowered, crying mess.

SallySunrise · August 2013

@emilypc that is a common statement about doulas! Everyone's situation is different of course, but a lot of times doulas can end up saving moms money, because their support (hopefully) leads to less interventions and therefore lower hospital bills. For example, with Benjamin my epidural wasn't covered by insurance, which was a surprise to us. Our fault for not knowing our policy, but still, a shock. The bill was $1700! (I got three "shots" of it and was billed for each one.) Our doula fee was $500, and with her support I was able to go without an epi, so essentially she saved us $1200! Even if her fee had been $1000 as it is in many regions, we still would have come out ahead. Not saying that would have been YOUR situation too, just wanted to put the info out there since I know you're not the only mama with this thought.

SallySunrise · August 2013

Thank you so much @bellaxanthe! That means a lot.

APendola · August 2013

I will not let my MIL stay at my house for the first 6 weeks of the newborns life. That was a horrible experience and cased many firsts between me and DH.

I will not do too much during the early weeks so that I can physically recover. I pulled a few muscles and wore myself out in the pp period.

I will make my husband get out of bed in the first couple weeks to help so that I can rest a little more.

bumpuser1509193 · August 2013

I would wait on telling people. I had just gotten into a room and just fallen asleep when my mom charged in. Naturally I woke right up, and later she accused me of faking being asleep. Wtf???
I think I might opt for early discharge. I don't feel like I needed all that time in the hospital. Not to mention, I can lock the house door

checking on me got old quickly!
I would think about being team green, having btdt, I don't feel the need to know everything!!!
Maybe a Dula, I think I will have forgotten a lot by the time (if ever) we have another. But then I would have to admit that I'm a little bit hippie :-S

RTaylor12 · August 2013

Pump for extra in the beginning to really build up a supply. I didn't do this with Taylor because everyone told me I'd create an oversupply and I think it's the reason I wasn't able to continue BF after I went back to work.

Not be as paranoid about rolling over onto the newborn and killing him/her. I was so worried about this with T that we had many sleepless nights where I could have just put her on my chest and snoozed in the recliner.

Crib for naps and bedtime from DAY ONE. Especially if #2 is anything like T and grunts in her sleep loud enough to wake the dead.

ETA: thought of another one. I'm also going to be a lot more assertive about scheduling only 1 or 2 visitors at the house at a time, and not be a pussy about it and kick them out when I'm ready for them to leave.

HeadRedInCharge · August 2013

My number one thing that I'd do different is I would actually offer solids sooner. I can't say for sure that the reason we have food issues now is because I waited, but I think I'll try it the other way next time.

I definitely see myself babywearing more. Especially since I'll need my hands to wrangle my toddler or whatever.

Otherwise, I'm pretty happy with how things have gone so far.

julymommy12 · August 2013

nesenotes said:

Definitely cuddle him/her while sleeping. I would always put her down as soon as she was asleep. I wish I could go back and cuddle her now.

I totally agree to this, this was me too. I would put him down the minute he fell asleep so I could do things around the house, eat, shower etc. All of that stuff was so unimportant now that I reflect on it.

sarahandeddiejune212008 · August 2013

DH says we are done, but if we were to go for #3 I'd try and not co-sleep, although I said that with DD#1&2 and DD#2 is still sleeping with us. I was way more relaxed the second time around, but I was basically a single mom due to DH's new job so I didn't have time to stress the small stuff. I would try and remember to take more pictures though. I have tons of #1, but I was so busy with a 2yr old and newborn that I didn't grab the camera often enough. And I would consider a vbac if #3 were head down. Both #1 and #2 were breech, so c/s was the only option.

thumper11 · August 2013

ILs will NOT know when I go to the hospital. They are not welcome in my home until I say so. The door WILL stay locked. They came to "help" but cooked and left me the mess to clean up. They didn't do any help and just wanted to hold the baby the whole time. I had an epidural headache and an air embolism right after delivery, so they just made it worse.

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