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Worst-mommy behavior award :(

jld49jld49 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
So after a wonderful morning in the park with boat ride and a meet up with my 20 mth old son's first crush, a cute little 2 yr old girl, we came home to eat lunch before his nap

I let him munch on a croissant and some crackers in the park, maybe more than I give him usually, and didn't get him home until 11:20, lunch at 11:30. Usually we're home by 11, lunch by 11:15. Then I served him the chicken and rice dish I scrambled to cook for him this morning and he took maybe one or two bites and wouldn't eat any more.

Here's where my worst mommy act comes out. I just seem to get frustrated that he won't eat and I've spent time and energy making him a whole meal. And I don't understand how he could possibly be full after such a small breakfast and only milk and bread.

I try to kind of force feed him a bite and he gets angry/upset. He starts to scream/cry and then my own frustration amplifies. I "fake" use the Harvey Karp method of toddlerese and scream/cry myself imitating his own sound and he starts cry more, covering his ears. (I know this response is wrong.) I leave him in his high chair and he cries louder then get him out finally but not calmly or gently but impatiently and a bit roughly and he screams even louder. He knows I'm mad at him-- and I can't figure out how to snap out of it :(. I change his diaper & clothes all the while he screams/cries more and he starts to calm down once I hold him lovingly, tell him I'm sorry I got impatient and I know he's just tired. I get a little calmer. I give him some cheese and his milk and read two books to him and then he goes down for his nap like an angel by 12. And then, I hate myself :(.

This has happened a few times before and I just don't know why I get so frustrated with such an innocent little guy that's my baby. Anyone have advice? I hate these days and just don't want this to become a repetitive scene.

Thoughts?
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Re: Worst-mommy behavior award :(

  • fanofannefanofanne member
    I think the reason why you get so frustrated is because you are human.  there isn't a mother in the world who hasn't felt anything other than blissful happiness.  we've all been there and I don't think you are alone...at least I know I get this way when my little ones don't eat...and believe me feeding times can be a battle of wits and who can last longer than who.  i'm interested in the advice others give since i also have gone through what you have.  hang in there, and don't beat yourself up!
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  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member
    I think the award would go to many, many, many examples of bad motherhood WAY before it would go to you.

    I don't know any moms who haven't had those moments.  

    For example, DD flails and screams with almost every diaper change.  Every single time I change her I get totally annoyed and it shows.  I always feel bad, but meh, I'm human.  Your child knows you love them, you just have a human relationship, you are going to annoy each other many more times throughout your life.  Be kinder to yourself.  I bet he is over it way before you are.

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  • allardrallardr member
    oh no worries we all have those moments. Mine seem to be just like you at meal time when she wont eat or when she "drinks" milk out of her straw cup then just lets it all flow out of her mouth. 
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  • meglette417meglette417 member
    These posts make me feel better because I am definitely guilty.  I know he understands things and I get so frustrated when he doesn't listen.  
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  • mexicolombianamexicolombiana member
    I "fake" use the Harvey Karp method of toddlerese and scream/cry myself imitating his own sound and he starts cry more, covering his ears. (I know this response is wrong.) 

    Um that sounds horrible why would anyone ever do that? I would say OP just chill out and everything will be ok :)




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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    cedenton said:
    BTDT. DS kept dropping his sippy on the floor. I said "Let me show you how to really throw it" and threw it across the room. Not my finest moment.


    Damn!  Why havent' I thought of this!  DD has destroyed over $30 worth of straw cups because she purposefully drops them on our tile floor and they crack!  I know she knows how to put the cup back on her tray because I see her do it and then go back to it a few minutes later to get another sip.  And she stares at me while she drops her cup on the floor waiting for my typically response "that is NOT nice!" - not like it does any good...  I'm just waiting not-so-patiently for the phase to pass.

     

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  • singingirl96singingirl96 member
    SunAndRain said:
    cedenton said:
    BTDT. DS kept dropping his sippy on the floor. I said "Let me show you how to really throw it" and threw it across the room. Not my finest moment.


    Damn!  Why havent' I thought of this!  DD has destroyed over $30 worth of straw cups because she purposefully drops them on our tile floor and they crack!  I know she knows how to put the cup back on her tray because I see her do it and then go back to it a few minutes later to get another sip.  And she stares at me while she drops her cup on the floor waiting for my typically response "that is NOT nice!" - not like it does any good...  I'm just waiting not-so-patiently for the phase to pass.

     

    When my son throws the cup on the floor.  I pick it up and put it out of his reach.  He will not get it again until about 5 minutes later, or so.  I refuse to have it become a 'mommy pick up' game.

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  • PsyDr04PsyDr04 member
    Don't be too hard on yourself. We have had problems getting my son to eat since he was born. We discovered he likely has a milk protein intolerance and so for the past week, he's been eating like a horse....until the last couple of days. Last night I was so frustrated that he wouldn't eat, I was slamming cupboards and slinging dishes in the sink and let loose some cuss words. So sign me up for Mother of the Year. :-/
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  • jld49jld49 member
    edited August 2013
    Thank you!!!!! You've all (except one) been so supportive and non-judgmental. It's the toughest job I've ever loved :). He had diarrhea in the afternoon--- lesson learned in not stressing about him not eating. There's a darn good reason. Again thank you for the reassurance and advice.
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  • kalettekalette member
    I was stressed out the other night when my LO wouldn't eat her dinner and was happily throwing it around the room instead, and for the first time I took it away, cleaned up and went on with our bedtime routine. I was worried she would wake up hungry in the night but she slept right through. Last time I worry about that I guess.
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  • NMW071000NMW071000 member
    cedenton said:
    BTDT. DS kept dropping his sippy on the floor. I said "Let me show you how to really throw it" and threw it across the room. Not my finest moment.
    Oh my gosh. I just laughed so hard at this.
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  • takmjstakmjs member

    cedenton said:
    BTDT. DS kept dropping his sippy on the floor. I said "Let me show you how to really throw it" and threw it across the room. Not my finest moment.
    I was telling my DH about this, and I could barely tell him the whole sentence, because I was laughing so hard! Thank you for that moment, and I could totally see me or my husband doing that. I like to think I'm a patient person, and I am WAY more so than my husband, but there are moments where DD tests us and either one of us get like this. I still can't look at your quote without laughing. Soooo great!

    Feels good to know it's not just us having moments with our DD. We can all relate to bad-mama behavior. :)
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  • PetuniaFeatherbottomPetuniaFeatherbottom member
    It's ok, we all get frustrated. I hate it when DD won't eat for me/ at our house but will chow down at grandmas. It's easy to get agitated because as adults we are much more aware. For example, you would never go to someone's Ouse for dinner and not eat anything, after they worked hard to prepare it. But a baby doesn't understand that, so sometimes we just have to step back a bit and take a breath and remember that when your kids are older you can remind them about their previous bad habits :) good luck!
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