TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

Bi- Weekly Wine and Cheese Party

Good Morning Ladies!

It's that time again. This is our bi-weekly check in, condensed version. Feel free to let us know how life is; you can b!tch, you can moan, you can brag, you can cry, whatever you want.

Since you cannot teach an old dog new tricks (me being the old dog!) there will not be any actual wine or cheese with this party. I can't figure out how to put pictures in a thread. This week, it's BYOB and BYOC. If someone would like to educate me, I will continue to provide the refreshments in our next party :) 


TTC since April 2010
BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
image
~All AL always welcome~

Re: Bi- Weekly Wine and Cheese Party

  • Update on me: Things are progressing ever so slowly with our surrogate. I had a mini-meltdown on Wednesday because I thought she was backing out...she isn't; she just isn't moving as fast as DH and I would like. We do have a meeting set up with the lawyer at the end of the month, so at least we are taking that step forward. 

    Non-TTCAL related:  I turn 30 next Sunday. I'm really not doing well with it. I think I'm having such a hard time with it because all of my friends basically have kids or are pregnant, so they can't celebrate with me and ever since DH and I got married, I dreamed of being close to done having kids by the time I was 30. And now that I'm turning 30, we aren't even trying, much less pregnant or parents, you know? I know there are others who are AMA or have been trying longer or whatever, but this just brings up a lot of the old hurt and feelings of loss and feeling like I'm broken. I'm trying really hard to use 30 as a time to "start fresh" and really work on the parts of me that I'm not happy with or want to change. I figure 30 is as good as New Years, right? So, we'll see how that goes...

    TTC since April 2010
    BFP #1 – March 2011, missed m/c April 2011
    BFP #2 – October 2011, m/c November 2011
    Surprise BFP #3 – December 2011, diagnosed as cornual, terminated January 2012
    BFP #4 – June 2012, m/c July 2012
    Diagnosed with bicornuate ute and MTHR gene mutation
    BFP #5 – October 2012, missed m/c November 2012
    BFP #6 – January 2013, m/c March 2013
    No longer TTC. Diagnosis: Hostile ute. Heartbroken and bitter. Pursuing surrogacy.
    June 2013 - Carrier found! Could this really happen?!
    image
    ~All AL always welcome~

  • :-S This is my first wine and cheese post, so I hope I did it right....

    @sammer818 -  So sorry things are moving slowly with your surrogate.  I can only imagine how frustrating that must be.  I am so sorry things can't be easier.  I think that looking at this birthday as a fresh start is a great idea.  I hope your 30's bring you everything that your 20's failed to do :-) ((Hugs))

    Update on me:

    I have my long-awaited OB appointment on Monday, and I'm freaking out a bit.  I have so many issues, I don't know where to start, or what to prioritize.  I'm lost!  (There isn't an RE anywhere near here, so an OB is as good as I can get).  My issues are long/irregular cycles, heavy periods, Endometriosis, mid-cycle spotting, short luteal phase, and now the 2 losses.  Oh, and I'm quickly approaching 35.  I have a feeling he is going to begin with surgery for my Endometriosis, which is going to put a temporary hold on TTC and I really don't want that. Plus, I work at the hospital my surgery would be at, and I really don't want everyone I know being privy to my medical history.  That blows. 

    Not TTC related, my kitty is sick :(  She is half feral and only likes DH, so it's been a bit of a challenge trying to help her.  I am hoping and praying that it's only a tummy ache from constipation, and that it isn't anything more serious because with her attitude, I just can't do much to help her.  It just breaks my heart when one of my fur kids is sick.  

    It's been a really rough 9 months, but I'm trying to focus on the positive.  It's been a hot and sunny summer so far, we are taking a family trip to Disneyland in September and my family is happy and healthy.  Taking things one day at a time... tonight I'm going to the fair to watch pigs and ducks race.  Who can be sad in the midst of such silliness?

    And I bought myself a gigantic bottle of this for the weekend... I'll share ;-)

    image
        




    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

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  • Hi sammer! Here's a link to a how-to on updating siggies: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12005246/siggy-how-to-s#latest

    The tips in that thread should work for adding a picture to text. You need to put the url for whatever pic you want to add in the "insert image" box.  You cannot use [img] coding or it will not work.

    @sammer818 - I'm glad the surrogate is still on board and I'm sorry it is still moving so slowly.

    @HelloSweetie1 - Focusing on the positive is a really good thing to do! Even though a lot of crappy things have happened there are so many good things in all of our lives.  Try to make a list of everything to go over with the OB.  The endometriosis could be causing a lot of your symptoms (not sure if it would cause any issues with LP) so surgery, even if it causes a temporary TTA period could be good in the end.  @katharine25 recommended a book - Endometriousis: a key to healing through nutrition. I'll admit to not reading it yet (I think cheese is a no-no :-O and I've decided to remain ignorant of that for a little while longer
    :-\")

    @jenek0213 - that is an amazing cheese spread! XO

    My update - blah, blah, blah that is where I am at this cycle. I'm CD18 with no O in sight.  I know this is not that late in a cycle but since my egg bank is running on fumes I'm moderately paranoid that I'm just not going to O. I felt better when donor eggs was an option but because of the cost we are not able to pursue that.  At this point, I'm taking my vitamins and hoping for a miracle.

    Non-TTC - we decided to paint our kitchen cabinets (instead of replacing) since we are now going to rent our place out. We have a pretty limited space for working so we can only work on four doors at a time.  Luckily, the kitchen is small but it should still take close to two weeks to get completely done.  The move is in 4 weeks so we need to get that done and get the house packed.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • @buggirl72 -  Thanks for the book recommendation!  I'm going to have to check it out.  I had read elsewhere that cheese (and all dairy) are no no's, and I have a big problem with that.  I'm trying to cut back, but there is NO WAY I can completely cut it out.  Really, it's the only dairy I consume aside from ice cream and yogurt. Soy is on the no list as well, and I used to eat it a few times a week since I'm a vegetarian.  Going to have to start being more adventurous about what I eat I guess :P

    Thanks also for the tips on what to tell my doctor.  I have a list, and I'll just have to try and keep my focus so I don't miss anything.  I think you're right though, and the Endo surgery is the best way to go if my doctor recommends it.  

    Sorry you are still waiting to O!  I feel for ya.  I never ovulate before at least CD26 though, so at least your average is better than mine :-)  I am so sorry that donor eggs aren't an option due to finances.  Hopefully some of Jenek's recommendations are a possibility for you in the future.

    Hope your kitchen cabinets turn out lovely.  We've been kicking that idea around since we moved into our place.  It's been 8 years now and we still haven't got around to it.  Let us know how it works out!

    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    edited August 2013

    @sammer818 I'm glad your surrogacy is progressing.  Regarding turning 30, I've found that big bdays like that seem to cause people to evaluate where their life is...and that it often really brings home what we feel we are lacking.  You are working towards your goal, focus on that.  I hope your 30s are wonderful to you!

    @HelloSweetie1 I'm glad your OB apt went well.  How is the kitty?  How were the pig and duck races? 

    @buggirl72 Hope your O and your cabinets are coming along!

    I'm a little late to the party, but I'll update just the same I guess.  I'm coming up on O, -OPK today though...so onward we go.  This cycle was supposed to be my hysteroscopy and next cycle clomid...but I've STILL not heard back from my RE's office about scheduling the procedure.  Background: I was supposed to get a call around the start of this cycle, but never did.  I called my insurance to make sure things were set, and they had never gotten the requisition for the surgery.  I haven't called insurance since getting after the REs office to follow up, I guess I should.  Truth be told though I'm debating about whether we should aggressively go for this rainbow or not.  We're still in the process of determining it, but DH and I may have a higher than average shot at our kids having autism...and of course there's no test they can run to check for that in an embryo or fetus.  I don't know what to do...

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • @mattsgirl2004 -  So glad you and your DH have had a chance to work through your issues and reconnect!  DH and I had a rough couple of years before our mc (he was a workaholic and wasn't willing to do anything about it) but have reconnected as well and are now in a better place than ever.  It makes the ups and downs a lot easier when you can have faith your partner is there supporting you.  I'm so happy you're having a relaxed cycle.  FX this is the one that finally gives you your rainbow :-)

    @junebug060609 - I am so sorry to see that you're having a rough time.  I want to TP your RE's office and the insurance company for letting you down.  I hate feeling like I'm being lost in the shuffle of paperwork, so I can totally sympathize with how upset and confused you must feel.  I really think you should at least call the insurance company to follow up so you can get out of limbo.  Ultimately you may decide to hold off on TTC until you know more about the autism risks, but at least YOU will be in control of when and if that happens, and not the insurance company dropping the ball.  So many ((hugs)) sweetie.    

    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

  • @mattsgirl2004 -  So glad you and your DH have had a chance to work through your issues and reconnect!  DH and I had a rough couple of years before our mc (he was a workaholic and wasn't willing to do anything about it) but have reconnected as well and are now in a better place than ever.  It makes the ups and downs a lot easier when you can have faith your partner is there supporting you.  I'm so happy you're having a relaxed cycle.  FX this is the one that finally gives you your rainbow :-)


    @junebug060609 - I am so sorry to see that you're having a rough time.  I want to TP your RE's office and the insurance company for letting you down.  I hate feeling like I'm being lost in the shuffle of paperwork, so I can totally sympathize with how upset and confused you must feel.  I really think you should at least call the insurance company to follow up so you can get out of limbo.  Ultimately you may decide to hold off on TTC until you know more about the autism risks, but at least YOU will be in control of when and if that happens, and not the insurance company dropping the ball.  So many ((hugs)) sweetie.    
    . I do plan on following up with them, probably later this week.

    I'm actually thinking that DHs deployment will work well for an involuntary step back from TTC. It's timing should help sort out what the autism chances may be, which could be key.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • Have I ever mentioned that I hate +6 board is completely separate now?

    @sammer818  I'm sorry things are moving slow with the surrogate. I hope you have a great birthday! (((hugs)))

    @HelloSweetie1  I hope your dr's appointment went well!

    @buggirl72  ((((HUGS))))

    @Mattsgirl2004  I'm so glad you & your DH are reconnecting & taking it easy this month.

    Junebug060609 Sorry your RE's office is taking their time scheduling your surgery. (((hugs)))

     I don't have any updates. I'm still stuck waiting for a job. I'm getting pretty frustrated but I know it will happen eventually.

    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


    imageimageFollow Me on Pinterestimageimageimage



    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

  • @sammer818- Sorry things are moving slowly, but I'm glad they are still progressing and your surrogate didn't back out.  I know how you feel about the turning 30.  I just did a few weeks ago and it was very hard for me to deal with--for career reasons and baby reasons. I also thought I would be "done" having kids by this age.  I hope things continue to go in the right direction with the surrogate.

    @HelloSweetie1- I'm sorry your kitty is sick. :(  I hope your appointment with the OB goes well.  That does stink that your surgery would be where you work--people can be really nosy when they want to be!

    @Buggirl72-I am also at CD 17 with no O, and I haven't had much for ovulation pains either, so that's kind of weird.  But last cycle I didn't O until CD 21, FX we O soon!  GL with the moving preparations!  Moving is never fun.

    @Mattsgirl2004- I'm glad things are going better with you and YH.  It must be a relief to take a break from temping and everything, although I now feel like I don't know if I could ever go back to not temping! LOL

     

    @Junebug060609- Sorry your RE's office still hasn't gotten back to you! That is frustrating.  I hope you and YH can come to a decision together on how you want to proceed.

    Not much to update on me...waiting to O, and HIO since it should be my FW.  I should be putting a call in to the Dr. today for some pain I had the other day, but I forgot my cell phone at home, so it should be an interesting call to make from my desk! 

    #-o


    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Our beautiful rainbow born on his due date!!

  • @ncchnat Little bit of an update: They did finally call on Friday.  For now I'm scheduled for Sept 5th BUT insurance hasn't approved it yet.  They apparently submitted it to insurance on August 12th (seriously? my appt was July 19th and it was supposed to be submitted right away).  Just coming out of FW now so I should find out how this cycle turned out a few days before.  Not counting on it working out as our timing wasn't stellar.  I'm honestly wishy-washy on if I even want to do the procedure.  The chances of this cm big thing causing a problem are so slim, you know?

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

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