Benefits of being a WM..

Karla CS · August 2013

I'm trying to find the upside in doing it..Just a couple off the top of my head.

I'm still pumping, so my day is broken up into manageable chunks. I spend the time trying to decompress or just totally checking out and reading trashy books on my kindle.

No one ever questions the fact that I don't stay. Or the fact that I come in early and leave by 3:30.

Bella427 · August 2013

I made a whole list of these to psych myself up before returning to work after maternity leave. I included stuff like: contributing to retirement, contributing to college, providing good health insurance, taking financial pressure off DH, setting an example for kids, having something for myself, peeing by myself, drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot.

And I definitely find that I appreciate my kids more when I'm not spending every second with them. If I was at home with them, we couldn't afford pre-school or extra activities, so it would really be me at home with bored kids a lot. My kids are such social butterflies. They really miss their friends when school is closed for winter break, etc.

aglenn · August 2013

Somebody else is being paid to clean my house today so I don't have to!

(Obviously there are more serious and practical perks but this is one I would hate to give up).

costa2011 · August 2013

Bella427 said:

I made a whole list of these to psych myself up before returning to work after maternity leave. I included stuff like: contributing to retirement, contributing to college, providing good health insurance, taking financial pressure off DH, setting an example for kids, having something for myself, peeing by myself, drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot. And I definitely find that I appreciate my kids more when I'm not spending every second with them. If I was at home with them, we couldn't afford pre-school or extra activities, so it would really be me at home with bored kids a lot. My kids are such social butterflies. They really miss their friends when school is closed for winter break, etc.

Thank you for sharing this list. Makes me feel a bit bitter about returning to work. These are excellent reasons to work. If nothing else, it shows my daughter that women can and are out there, making life happen at home and in the work place...and she can do the same. Best of both worlds.

Karla CS · August 2013

I find I take much more joy in the less practical perks!

We're in the middle of a kitchen renovation that we couldn't do if I wasn't working, but for some reason, I don't find that one to be as much fun.

Another perk.. For the last week or so, ALL of DD's poopy diapers have been while she's at daycare. Kind of nice, but won't last forever.

financialdiva · August 2013

Bella427 said:
I made a whole list of these to psych myself up before returning to work after maternity leave. I included stuff like: contributing to retirement, contributing to college, providing good health insurance, taking financial pressure off DH, setting an example for kids, having something for myself, peeing by myself, drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot. And I definitely find that I appreciate my kids more when I'm not spending every second with them. If I was at home with them, we couldn't afford pre-school or extra activities, so it would really be me at home with bored kids a lot. My kids are such social butterflies. They really miss their friends when school is closed for winter break, etc.

This is for me as well.

The big one for me is financial stability. After my DH lost his job TWICE in one year, through NO fault of his own, I can't imagine not working. He was unemployed for only three weeks, but those weeks were pretty scary!

SoMoNY · August 2013

costa2011 said:

Bella427 said:

I made a whole list of these to psych myself up before returning to work after maternity leave. I included stuff like: contributing to retirement, contributing to college, providing good health insurance, taking financial pressure off DH, setting an example for kids, having something for myself, peeing by myself, drinking a cup of coffee while it's still hot. And I definitely find that I appreciate my kids more when I'm not spending every second with them. If I was at home with them, we couldn't afford pre-school or extra activities, so it would really be me at home with bored kids a lot. My kids are such social butterflies. They really miss their friends when school is closed for winter break, etc.

Thank you for sharing this list. Makes me feel a bit bitter about returning to work. These are excellent reasons to work. If nothing else, it shows my daughter that women can and are out there, making life happen at home and in the work place...and she can do the same. Best of both worlds.

I agree, great list.

I want me sons to know that women can have successful careers AND be good moms. I hope it will help make them better parents/spouses decades from now.

youenjoymyself · August 2013

Great list , Bella! I've found that I have a lot in common with many of the other Moms at daycare. I've finally made some mom friends, which I definitely wouldn't have if I were home all the time.

TheBorg7of9 · August 2013

Having a maid

thedash · August 2013

Working really helps keep me organized and motivated as a wife and mom. When I'm at home all day I am not good at balancing my time and prioritizing tasks. Going to the office helps me focus on making the most of my time with DS and DH.

KL777 · August 2013

-I'm hardly ever bored (after the first two years of SAH, I got incredibly bored)

-private school for DS

-Great reliable crossover SUV

-able to help contribute to our anniversary vacations

-able to stay current in a career that I enjoy, children won't be young forever, many women eventually try to get back in their field after being out for a very long stretch of time

-eating out (silly perk, yet still enjoyable ;-)

-able to help contribute to health insurance

-RETIREMENT, that's a big one

-able to contribute to home renovations!

-helping others (I work in a helping profession)

-I get a mommy break!

-Able to afford preschool. When I was a SAHM, that was not in the budget.

TessyMessy · August 2013

Contributing to the family income, contributing to our retirement/savings, being able to afford to go on nice vacations, being able to get pampered every once in a while- massage, facial and pedicure, having adults to talk to daily, lunch dates with my friends, and like a PP mentioned peeing alone :-)

82Sonia · August 2013

Saving for retirement, having disposable income, being able to take vacations, not needing coupons (although I still clip them, who doesn't like to save money?), being able to afford the best daycare and now being able to pay a nanny if we can ever find one. I could go on and on but they're all related to money.

I love the time I spend with my baby and honestly, if I could not work and still get paid, I'd be fine with being a SAHM. I don't care so much about getting out of the house and interacting with my co-workers. Most of them are aholes anyway #:-S

LoCarb · August 2013

Ditto everyone else's suggestion.

Adding - I'm also a role model for my girls as far as women in the workforce and providing for themselves.

Bella427 · August 2013

Ah yes, I should add that even though I wasn't initially excited about going back to work, six months after I did my husband was laid off with zero severance. Thank goodness I could support us for the next 18 months until he found something full time!

laurakaz13 · August 2013

Stophoney said:

Contributing to the family income, contributing to our retirement/savings, being able to afford to go on nice vacations, being able to get pampered every once in a while- massage, facial and pedicure, having adults to talk to daily, lunch dates with my friends, and like a PP mentioned peeing alone :-)

All of this, plus I just feel healthier, happier and better about myself. I feel very put together, in great shape and just feel like I'm a better mom and wife because of it. Plus, I get serious satisfaction from having a successful career.

I'm proud of what I've accomplished and DH is really proud of me as well. DD is also a really social, happy kid and I enjoy her more when we have quality time as opposed to quantity.

lms1981 · August 2013

I am due in March and very strongly plan to be a working mom. Hearing your comments just confirms my choice.

iverske9 · August 2013

Getting accolades for a job well done (that does not happen with my son, LOL he is so young)

Business trip every once in a while so I get to sleep, relax, have someone else cook and clean for me and pee in peace.

ccam · August 2013

I agree with so many of the things that PPs said, but for me, the main ones are - health insurance, retirement, being able to get out of the house, being able to live while DH is laid off every winter, providing DS with the things he needs and realizing that my time with DS is precious and enjoying every second of it.

ssmet · August 2013

I so needed to read this today!

delino · August 2013

I've been lurking on this board and will be returning to work on Monday. This helped put me at ease a bit. Thank you!

9fraulein · August 2013

Today was my first day back. Thanks for this list! I missed my DD today, but I know I'd not be happy as a SAHM for long, because I'd miss eating out, shopping, our 2 new cars, vacations, retirement, and working with my best friends. Oh! And not having to depend on a man. Don't get me wrong, I love my DH through and through. I never wanted to be someone who had to stay with a man just because she couldn't afford not to.

AZ123 · August 2013

Benefits? Adding more depth to my life. Knowing that I'm acknowleding our forewomen's efforts to bring equality to the workforce.

emberlee3 · August 2013

Being able to afford braces! (For me, now, and the kids, later)
Having financial security
Exciting, stimulating, challenging, rewarding career that makes me happy most of the time

kristinyoung111 · August 2013

Having some me time!

Starofd00m · August 2013

I'm not even kidding, I surfed over this board to pose the question "how did you current WMs get over any feelings of guilt when you went back after your maternity leave?" This thread is exactly what I needed right now

I work in a pediatric medical clinic, and all of these "aww poor you" faces when I tell people I'm going back full time after the LO is born and maternity leave is over makes me want to punch their faces in. So much of my identity is tied into my career - I went to 4 years of grad school, lived by myself and left the DF (now DH) 3 states away to do so, got my doctorate, and I've pretty much found my dream job... though it's not the only thing in my life for sure. And I am so ready to welcome this LO into the life DH and I have made for ourselves and include him/her in our world. All of the pity parties I've been receiving have been clouding my mind for sure, and it's to wonderful to be reminded of all the reasons why I WANTED a career that pays well in the first place.

You ladies have made my night. Thanks

st.augbride · August 2013

For me: Getting time to have lunch with friends, being able to miss my kids and savor time with them, and on my work-from-home days, clean (and by clean, I mean I pick-up before the cleaning people come, lol ; ), do laundry, workout and be lazy on my couch with bad tv in the background.

For all of us as a family: resources to travel, buy what we need, splurge on fun things without added financial stress or fear; allow dh to be an equal parent and be present with the kids as much as me by having a more laid back and flexible job rather than needing one that earns twice as much to support our lifestyle; handle emergencies as they arise without financial worries; expose kids to great early schools and resources that we couldn't otherwise afford (and they'd need preschool eventually anyway).

court115 · August 2013

I enjoy the adult interaction. My H makes a good living and we could afford for me to stay home with some tweaks to our budget but he works in the trades so he has lay-off periods. Those periods are much easier to handle, both financially and emotionally, with me working.

daisy662 · August 2013

This is a timely post for me also. My step MIL who I loathe... Asked me recently if I would be quitting my job after the new baby came and it really baffled me. That thought had not crossed my mind. People just assume that my DH is the breadwinner because he has a much more glamorous sounding job than I do, when actually I make 3 times as much as he does and that bugs me sometimes because no one would ever think to ask him if he is going to stay home... Ok rant over... For me, it is mainly financial. We live in a home that we built last year and love. We would have to downgrade significantly. We have 2 newer nice dependable cars. I was able to throw a kickass first bday for my little guy with a cake that cost a fortune but looked like it was off the cake boss show! Lol Also, I would be so bored staying at home. Come Sunday night, I am ready to get back to work. I just wish I had a little more balance as my job can get demanding.

bethann3181 · August 2013

For me a big perk that I know I wouldn't get as a SAHM is that I can take a day off! I can still have childcare for the kids, and take a day off to do whatever I want. I love taking a "me" day every now and then!

jgoetz1 · August 2013

This helped me to be optimistic about returning to work on Monday as well. I am happy that I will be carrying the family's health benefits (mine are cheaper and just as good as DH's), I will be able to chat with my co-workers (two of whom are my closest friends now), I get to meet a whole new batch of 5th graders and help build up their confidence and get them ready for middle school, I get to keep my spot in a school where I love to teach, I will be contributing to my retirement, my DD gets to see her friends at daycare again, I will get a precious hour every day after work to work out (ALONE). I need to write all of these things down in my journal and read them on bad days.

khanley1980 · August 2013

My kid doesn't look like a ragamuffin!!

I get to buy her such cute clothes that I wouldn't be able to do if I didn't work.

Oh, and we can own a house. That's a big one too!

Divallyn · August 2013

I agree with all the posts above but a huge one for me is : the ability to make a good living in a career I enjoy if something were to happen to my marriage or to DH. I have seen so many women Stay home and lose all their current experience and opportunities to advance to have their H either die or leave them and they become poorer than poor trying to support the family on a entry level job. I love knowing I could easily take care of us if something were to happen. This is in my top five reasons why I love being a working mom. Others are: the amazing relationship skills I see my LO exhibiting at his daycare and all of the fun stuff they do. Drinking my coffee hot and uninterrupted in the morning while reading my daily blogs. Adult interaction. Love every minute I spend with LO I feel I have a healthier life balance.

Maybride2 · August 2013

Ditto everyone else so far. The financial security and adult interaction are big deals to me. I need to have an identity outside of "wife" and "mom". Yes, I love those jobs too......but I had my career before I was either of those things, and leaving it would have been like losing a part of myself. By the end of both 12 week maternity leaves, I was severely depressed; I felt lost, without as much purpose, boring. Yay for women who get all of the fulfillment they need being a SAHM, but I'm not one of those women.

thegirljack · August 2013

Maybride2 said:
Ditto everyone else so far. The financial security and adult interaction are big deals to me.

I need to have an identity outside of "wife" and "mom". Yes, I love those jobs too......but I had my career before I was either of those things, and leaving it would have been like losing a part of myself. By the end of both 12 week maternity leaves, I was severely depressed; I felt lost, without as much purpose, boring. Yay for women who get all of the fulfillment they need being a SAHM, but I'm not one of those women.

Yep. This. I am nearing the end of my second maternity leave and I am excited to return to work. I am not a good sahm and never will be!

Benefits of being a WM..

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"No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside." -Unknown

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