Into and question...

Re: Into and question...

• Stefibeth member

  August 2013

  You have to be a SAHM because you want to be a SAHM.  IMO you'll end up unhappy if you're doing it for reasons other than you want to.  I think it's reasonable for your H to express his desires for your family, BUT you're the one who would have to be giving up a career, doing the work, etc.  It's not fair to you to do it just because it's what he wants.  SAH isn't for everyone.  

  
  

  As far as your other questions, it's wasn't really hard for me to leave my career because I wanted to SAH.  Sure I had some "what if" thoughts (what if I don't like it?  What if we miss my income?  etc.), but it was the right decision, for sure.  We haven't regretted it.  I don't mind not contributing financially because I know that I contribute plenty of other things to the family.  

  
  

  Part-time work can certainly be a happy compromise if you can do that.  I think you would kind of get the best of both worlds.  

  
  

     
  

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• zbeesma86 member

  August 2013

  Our DD just turned 1 last week! I went from working and having a career to being a SAHM.
  
  Overall, yes I am happy I was able to do it in the first place. Hubby has a great job so being able to stay home and raise our daughter has been a big blessing. I have friends who COULD be SAHMs but don't, which is fine, but they complain about day care and LO being sick all the time and kids being mean and missing LO and so on and so forth.
  
  I do have my days where I miss working (gasp). But I wouldn't trade the schedule I have with DD to go back and work 8-4 everyday and be away from her.
  
  DH and I have a good grasp on splitting housework and getting things done around the house- communication is key! I had a talk with DH and told him I wasn't his maid. hahaha. And he does a lot around the house to help me out. I worried about him resenting me because I got to be home with our baby alllllll day but he is happy and takes pride in providing for us.
  
  It really is a personal choice- what is right for you, DH,and DD.
  
  
  

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• Nechie122 member

  August 2013

  If you're not sure about being a SAHM, I would say table the decision until after your LO gets here.
  
  I worked PT after my DD was born and it was the perfect thing for us. TBH, becoming a mom was a huge adjustment and I really looked forward to that time where I could sit down with a cup of coffee, think about big important issues going on in the world and feel like my old self again.
  
  But the bottom line is, if you stay home, do it because YOU want to, not because your DH wants you to. You're the one who will probably shoulder more of the childcare and housework; you're the one who will stop funding your own 401k; you're the one who will be alone with the baby while he has the "freedom" to eat lunch with two hands/surf the web/have a quiet car ride home to de-stress. And you're the one who's going to take the career hit if you need or want to return to work someday.
  
  It can be really hard to go back once you leave. So many women wish they had the option to go PT. Why not wait to see how you feel once your baby is born?

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• Lesley726 member

  August 2013

  Thank you both for your honest replies! It is great to hear from others that have been in my shoes before:)

  I'm lame and can't get my sig to work. This will have to do...

  
  

  It's a Girl! Due September 28th!! 

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• Lesley726 member

  August 2013

  Thank you @nechie122

  I'm lame and can't get my sig to work. This will have to do...

  
  

  It's a Girl! Due September 28th!! 

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