If your kid wakes up at night, who gets up?

Love My Lil Princess 509 · August 2013

Only you, Dh too? Does your Dh think it's your job bc he works and you don't? Dh and I get into this quite often, and since I'm now 7 months pregnant, it sometimes takes up to an hour to get lo to fall back.asleep, and this is with me sitting in a chair next to her bed, I think Dh could sometimes help out too. Am I being inconsiderate?

rockyrollgirl · August 2013

Mainly me. He does sometimes.

jensriot · August 2013

DH usually gets up if it's one of the girls (5 & 2.5 years). If DS is up, he'll bring baby boy to me and help with diaper or get me water or whatever. DH doesn't mind partly because he can fall back to sleep in a heartbeat. If a kid is sick rather than just needing comfort, we both are up. DH may go to an office, but we both work all day. I personally don't think it's fair for one spouse to leave the other one with all MOTN duties.

LoriLee14 · August 2013

Me. If he has work the next day then it is all me, if we are on vacation or something I will go in first (because I wake up easier) and if I am not successful then he will try

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2013

Dh did when I was pregnant. Like you I couldn't fall back asleep whereas he'd be asleep in five minutes.

Stefibeth · August 2013

Mostly MH. He's taken the lead on overnight stuff for the most part.

When our kids were little and waking more than once per night we would switch off. Once they went to once per night MH is usually the one who does it.

Hollylb3 · August 2013

Always me. Mostly because he never hears him, and if I bothered to wake him, takes him so long to stumble out of bed and get in there that I could have had him back to sleep by then.

If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to ask for help, though.

penguingrrl · August 2013

Mainly H. He's a really light sleep and I'm a really heavy sleeper. If they're nursing he brings them to me, I feed them while he dozes and he puts them back in the crib. Once they're done nursing he deals with anything that comes up. He would wake up anyway so there's no reason for us both to wake up and he does better on less sleep than I do.

notreallyirish · August 2013

We bed shared until a few months ago, so getting up usually wasn't a big deal, but I still did most of it. After DS1 moved in to his room it was still mostly me for a while, but toward the end of my pregnancy DH started getting up. Now since I am frequently dealing with DS2, DH goes unless he has to take a call or is at the hospital.

I had to carry DS2 with me into DS1's room when he woke up early this morning, and it sucked. Neither one went back to sleep. When DH got home from the hospital he tried to help, to no avail. Now DS is wiped and eating a bagel with his eyes closed...oops, now he's asleep holding the bagel...and DH will have been up for over 36 hours when he gets home. Fun.

ETA: tiredness-wise I could deal with getting up with DS1 (it's usually once or twice for a few minutes) better now than when I was pregnant. I just can't always go easily now because I'm often nursing DS2.

notkateanymore · August 2013

When DD was a baby, we rotated.

Stefibeth · August 2013

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

jnksmom · August 2013

When they were babies H helped on the weekends. Now they are older and don't get up often and I am closer to the door so they usually come to me. I usually hear them before H does also.

nekorayne · August 2013

If DD wakes up and is hungry I get up since we BF. But really it's not getting up because I just pull her into my bed and pop her onto my breast. (yea, my lazy parenting at it's best).

If she is fed and DH wakes up and notices me trying to get her down he always offers to walk her around. Sometimes I'll try to decline knowing he has to get up super early but he insisted. He says he loves that time walking them to sleep. It's awesome because his shoulder has kid sleep magic built in or something! You put DS or DD's heads on his sholder and they are OUT!!!

DS rarily gets up at night now. If he happens to (sick, bad dream, or something) he comes into our bed and goes back to sleep.

Chapter79 · August 2013

Well mine doesn't really wake, she's older (unless she has to pee, and she does wake me.. she can't see in the dark and trips all over). But, it was mostly me as a baby. I'm a super light sleeper who can wake with a snap of the fingers. I can jump out of bed and I'm wide awake immediately. H is like a bag of rocks. It takes him awhile to wake, he can barely walk. So it was simply easier for me to do it. But, he did it sometimes.

roxy_jj · August 2013

When they were babies, most of the time I got up. They were usually awake because they wanted to be fed. Since I breastfed, it wasn't something that DH could do and there was no point to him getting up. I would feed them and they would go right back to sleep.

Now that they're older, they always come to me because I'm a very light sleeper. I will wake up by them simply standing next to the bed. It's easier for them because they would have to shake DH or yell to get him to wake up.

KaylaL08 · August 2013

Stefibeth said:

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

I always get up with DS because I am nursing and the few times I have asked for DH's help he has just made more work for me. I am fine with this arrangement. MH is often operating heavy machinery and/or driving semis during the day, so I want him to get as much sleep as he needs, because that's what is safest. Plus I almost always have a chance to catch a quick nap, where he usually doesn't.

Even with a baby waking 4+ times a night I never felt so sleep deprived I couldn't function, but I would ask for help in a heartbeat if that was the case. He almost always gets up when DS1 if he wakes in the middle of the night. So I guess I have baby duty and he has toddler and up duty haha.

Love My Lil Princess 509 · August 2013

Gastro said:
Always me. DH works long hours and doesn't get enough sleep as it is. DS prefers me anyway for a night time waking, which doesn't really happen anymore. If it wasn't working for me and I was seven months pregnant I would talk to DH about it. Me being upset about it I know might make me snappy and mean to DH.

How old is your LO - taking him one hour to fall back asleep...maybe you should try to address that issue before baby comes.

She's 2. We've had sleep issues with her since she was 1. She was in our bed for about 6 months bc we gave up. She has been back in her room sleeping in her bed for 2 months now. That was the major issue alone, getting her out of our bed before the new baby comes. As far as her hour long night wakings and us having to sit with her, if you have advice that actually will work, please share lol.

notreallyirish · August 2013

Love My Lil Princess 509 said:

Gastro said:
Always me. DH works long hours and doesn't get enough sleep as it is. DS prefers me anyway for a night time waking, which doesn't really happen anymore. If it wasn't working for me and I was seven months pregnant I would talk to DH about it. Me being upset about it I know might make me snappy and mean to DH.

How old is your LO - taking him one hour to fall back asleep...maybe you should try to address that issue before baby comes.
She's 2. We've had sleep issues with her since she was 1. She was in our bed for about 6 months bc we gave up. She has been back in her room sleeping in her bed for 2 months now. That was the major issue alone, getting her out of our bed before the new baby comes. As far as her hour long night wakings and us having to sit with her, if you have advice that actually will work, please share lol.

I feel your pain on the bed sharing. DS moved out of our bed right before he turned 3 when I was about 5 or 6 months pregnant. We put a queen bed on the floor in his room so one of us could lie down with him to get him to sleep or back to sleep. It was kind of just moving the whole set up into his room, but it worked well for us and we could fall asleep or at least be comfortable while dealing with him. At first I would sleep in there with him a big portion of the time, but it got to be less and less. Now it often just takes a moment or two to say "It's okay, go back to sleep." Versus having to lie down for an extended period .

Minipenguin · August 2013

Right now, DH will get up and change her while I make a bottle (or vice versa) then I go back to bed while he feeds her. It usually takes like 5 minutes for her to fall back asleep. But she doesn't wake up every night anymore. When she was waking multiple times a night and I was nursing, I would get her and feed her and then he would change her and put her back in bed. Once I stopped nursing, we just switched off.

Do what works. Ask for help if you want/need it.

Stefibeth · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H that has to go to work the next day and be alert all day to get up with a kid all night when you will be at home all day the next day? I mean, come on... we bump for a large part of the day, to say that we can't sneak a break is a lot of a stretch. Ya know? I get so tired of the "we work so hard as SAHMs"... sure it's not an easy thing to do... but it's not like we don't have opportunities to sit back & relax or let them watch an extra show or two to rest. If that was the case, that we were so so busy and unable to take a break... we wouldn't be on the bump.

I'm not saying that we have to get up, like Penguin said (I think it was penguin) that her H was a light sleeper & she was a deep sleeper and he didn't mind, sure. But I do think in the majority of families that isn't the case.

I completely disagree, but I think this is going to have to be something we disagree on because based on your thought process I'm just not going to see it your way and you're not going to see it mine.

In my house what I do is just as valid as what MH does when he works outside of the house. I need breaks too and when we're both home, we're equally capable of providing childcare and it doesn't default to either of us. I would never tell another person they're doing it wrong if the set up they have is working for them, but the idea that it's inconsiderate to ask your H to participate in caring for their own child when they're not at work doesn't jive with me.

And I do work hard as a SAHM. I can't answer for anyone else, but it always confuses me a bit when I see other SAHMs saying they think they don't work hard at what they do. Maybe we just do it differently :shrug:

Now, if you're in a set up where you can nap the next day, I can totally see how it would make more sense for you to miss out on sleep. I'm not saying it never makes sense for the SAHP to be the one to get up overnight, just that it shouldn't automatically be assumed that that's what should happen.

Allycat11 · August 2013

I think different things work for different families. There is nothing in this house that DH considers "my job". When DD was a newborn I woke up with her because she was EBF and there was nothing DH could do for her. Now DD typically wakes up around the time DH has to get up, she typically needs to nurse than needs to sleep for another 2ish hours, so he gets up and brings her into bed with me. If she wakes up other than that either one of us will get up but there is no particular system for it.

MountaineerMomma · August 2013

I do unless I'm up already with the other one. In that case, he gets up too.

catycate · August 2013

I do, but it's because, like several other posters, I am a light sleeper and can wake up fully at the drop of a hat, whereas DH sleeps like the dead and by the time he rouses himself and gets to the nursery, I could have already been back in bed. I have had nights, however, where I just NEEDED the sleep and DH will sleep on the couch to handle any and all wakings.

emeraldanchor · August 2013

Mainly me. But he will usually grab the first wake up if its before 1? Also, if it had already been a rough few nights he'll help more so I can get some sleep. On the weekends he also is able to help more!

Love My Lil Princess 509 · August 2013

sing4mysavior said:
Sleep issues are the worst. I might evaluate her napping riser if that's hindering night sleep?

But to answer...I did all night wakings the first year since I was nursing anyway...but it did lead to some resentment so we talked and now DH goes in 1st (they put up less of a fight with him/know he means business/mom is a sap)...and if he can't get them settled (rare now), then I go in. This is working well for both of us now. Since what you have going on is not working, I suggest you and dh sit down and discuss and find a solution you can both work with.
He does until midnight? Or 1am, then its you? Or you switch off? Or....whatever you can both agree on.

Like I said, sleep issues suck and you have my sympathies.

Yeah. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start waking her up from naps after an hour. I hate doing that and I love having some extended me time, but I'm noticing on the days she sleeps 2 hours, at night she is horrible.

penguingrrl · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H that has to go to work the next day and be alert all day to get up with a kid all night when you will be at home all day the next day? I mean, come on... we bump for a large part of the day, to say that we can't sneak a break is a lot of a stretch. Ya know? I get so tired of the "we work so hard as SAHMs"... sure it's not an easy thing to do... but it's not like we don't have opportunities to sit back & relax or let them watch an extra show or two to rest. If that was the case, that we were so so busy and unable to take a break... we wouldn't be on the bump.

I'm not saying that we have to get up, like Penguin said (I think it was penguin) that her H was a light sleeper & she was a deep sleeper and he didn't mind, sure. But I do think in the majority of families that isn't the case.

I completely disagree, but I think this is going to have to be something we disagree on because based on your thought process I'm just not going to see it your way and you're not going to see it mine.

In my house what I do is just as valid as what MH does when he works outside of the house. I need breaks too and when we're both home, we're equally capable of providing childcare and it doesn't default to either of us. I would never tell another person they're doing it wrong if the set up they have is working for them, but the idea that it's inconsiderate to ask your H to participate in caring for their own child when they're not at work doesn't jive with me.

And I do work hard as a SAHM. I can't answer for anyone else, but it always confuses me a bit when I see other SAHMs saying they think they don't work hard at what they do. Maybe we just do it differently :shrug:

Now, if you're in a set up where you can nap the next day, I can totally see how it would make more sense for you to miss out on sleep. I'm not saying it never makes sense for the SAHP to be the one to get up overnight, just that it shouldn't automatically be assumed that that's what should happen.

I don't think it necessarily needs to be the mom that gets up at night, but I do think it only makes sense that the SAHP gets up at night. If it's a thing that the baby just needs to be laid back down it obviously wouldn't be the same type issue, but if we're talking a baby that is needing someone to be up an extended period of time, I do think it only makes sense that the parent that will be home the next day stay up with them.

And I know that what we do is hard, but it's a different type of hard than working a public job is IMO. When I was working it was paperwork, driving, inspecting people's apartments, dr appointments... going all day long. To have been up during the night before it would have been significantly harder than it would be now when I have down time during the day. I stand by, if we were are working so hard we wouldn't be on the bump nearly as much, ya know?

I think it also depends on what your day job is. DH works in front of a computer all day with the occasional meeting thrown in (many days he doesn't see another person all day at work). His day is far, far less physically active than mine is. And neither of the girls has napped in over two years, so it's not like I can nap when they can. He worries about me nodding off at the wheel with our kids in the car going to or from school or activities where if he is too tired he works from home that day and it doesn't matter in the slightest (he works in the bedroom with the door closed and the kids forget he's here).

zbeesma86 · August 2013

oh man I could write a novel right now-

but always me. DH maybe did for a month when DD was 5 or 6 months ONLY because I begged him to help me! I was pumping at every feeding to have enough to give her at her next feeding (long story) ANYWAY he had that attitude like, I work, you take care of LO.

DD for the most part sleeps through the night, but when she doesn't DH claims he doesn't hear her. *eye roll*

But I don't mind at all. I stay at home with her all day and can nap when she does, but the idea of him just offering to make me happy would be nice. haha

MTipler22 · August 2013

Usually both of us because if one of our kids start screaming, the other wakes up ;P (twins). But on the chance that only one wakes up, my DH will. I feel selfish sometimes but he jumps right up and when I talk to him the next day about it, he just says that he knows the twins keep me hopping all day long and that he doesn't mind to sit up a bit. Our twins are going to be 2 this Saturday and have been sleeping through the night for quite some time but just recently... past 3 weeks or so... our son has been waking up around 4 every night screaming. Not sure what's up with him or if he's teething?

chardonnay24 · August 2013

Usually my H. When the kiddo was still waking to eat during the night, we'd both wake up because I had to pump while H changed and fed the baby. Now, it's just easier because H is closer (our room is tiny and I've banged myself up pretty bad trying to get around the bed and dresser to the door) and because H can get back to sleep quickly and easily.

bridein08 · August 2013

When I was nursing, I usually got up, because WTH could DH do? When I was so tired I couldn't get out of bed, I'd have DH bring him in and I'd nurse him and take him back. Now, usually DH gets up if DS wakes up. Then DS yells for me and I get up too.

LegallyBlonde217 · August 2013

99% of the time, it's me. He only takes care of it if he happens to be up working late at the time. (If he's got a deadline, he'll come home around 7pm then work from home until as late as 4am.)

karen_loy · August 2013

Usually DH, but he is deaf on one side and if he's sound asleep on his good ear he might not hear them, in those cases I get up

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H that has to go to work the next day and be alert all day to get up with a kid all night when you will be at home all day the next day? I mean, come on... we bump for a large part of the day, to say that we can't sneak a break is a lot of a stretch. Ya know? I get so tired of the "we work so hard as SAHMs"... sure it's not an easy thing to do... but it's not like we don't have opportunities to sit back & relax or let them watch an extra show or two to rest. If that was the case, that we were so so busy and unable to take a break... we wouldn't be on the bump.

I'm not saying that we have to get up, like Penguin said (I think it was penguin) that her H was a light sleeper & she was a deep sleeper and he didn't mind, sure. But I do think in the majority of families that isn't the case.

I don't follow the logic that if you have time to bump you're getting a break. Regardless of the job I've always had time to bump (or whatever my time suck at the time was). I worked 50+ hours a week at a management gig which was incredibly draining and I bumped more at that time than I do now. Dh gets plenty of downtime at work to do personal stuff on the Internet too. That doesn't mean he's not working all Day. Some people are just better at multitasking than others.
I also figure my sleep is much more important because I'm driving kids in my car. Having some time to bump before/ between activities doesn't mean I'm getting the kind of rest that makes me more alert behind the wheel. I haven't got a midday nap in a long, long time.

Love My Lil Princess 509 · August 2013

Yup, she did sleep through the night in our bed. We're getting her a twin bed soon though. Not sure if that will help, but if we are stuck waking up with her, at least I can lay down in the bed next to her instead of sitting up.

I wanted to add that I did less and had more down time at both of my previous full time jobs than since being home with dd. I sat on my butt all day long in front of a computer screen and her could surf the web or make a phone call without a 2 year old pulling the phone from my hand and screaming. I also had an hour lunch, time in the break room, etc. all for myself, just like Dh does.

penguingrrl · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:

penguingrrl said:

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Hav=Fath said:

Stefibeth said:

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H to provide care overnight?

Why would it be inconsiderate to ask your H that has to go to work the next day and be alert all day to get up with a kid all night when you will be at home all day the next day? I mean, come on... we bump for a large part of the day, to say that we can't sneak a break is a lot of a stretch. Ya know? I get so tired of the "we work so hard as SAHMs"... sure it's not an easy thing to do... but it's not like we don't have opportunities to sit back & relax or let them watch an extra show or two to rest. If that was the case, that we were so so busy and unable to take a break... we wouldn't be on the bump.

I'm not saying that we have to get up, like Penguin said (I think it was penguin) that her H was a light sleeper & she was a deep sleeper and he didn't mind, sure. But I do think in the majority of families that isn't the case.

I completely disagree, but I think this is going to have to be something we disagree on because based on your thought process I'm just not going to see it your way and you're not going to see it mine.

In my house what I do is just as valid as what MH does when he works outside of the house. I need breaks too and when we're both home, we're equally capable of providing childcare and it doesn't default to either of us. I would never tell another person they're doing it wrong if the set up they have is working for them, but the idea that it's inconsiderate to ask your H to participate in caring for their own child when they're not at work doesn't jive with me.

And I do work hard as a SAHM. I can't answer for anyone else, but it always confuses me a bit when I see other SAHMs saying they think they don't work hard at what they do. Maybe we just do it differently :shrug:

Now, if you're in a set up where you can nap the next day, I can totally see how it would make more sense for you to miss out on sleep. I'm not saying it never makes sense for the SAHP to be the one to get up overnight, just that it shouldn't automatically be assumed that that's what should happen.

I don't think it necessarily needs to be the mom that gets up at night, but I do think it only makes sense that the SAHP gets up at night. If it's a thing that the baby just needs to be laid back down it obviously wouldn't be the same type issue, but if we're talking a baby that is needing someone to be up an extended period of time, I do think it only makes sense that the parent that will be home the next day stay up with them.

And I know that what we do is hard, but it's a different type of hard than working a public job is IMO. When I was working it was paperwork, driving, inspecting people's apartments, dr appointments... going all day long. To have been up during the night before it would have been significantly harder than it would be now when I have down time during the day. I stand by, if we were are working so hard we wouldn't be on the bump nearly as much, ya know?

I think it also depends on what your day job is. DH works in front of a computer all day with the occasional meeting thrown in (many days he doesn't see another person all day at work). His day is far, far less physically active than mine is. And neither of the girls has napped in over two years, so it's not like I can nap when they can. He worries about me nodding off at the wheel with our kids in the car going to or from school or activities where if he is too tired he works from home that day and it doesn't matter in the slightest (he works in the bedroom with the door closed and the kids forget he's here).

I 100% agree that it depends on the situation, H's work, who's a light sleeper etc. but it does rub me the wrong way to say "they're his children too, why wouldn't he need to get up?" when he's working all day and we're at home. But it'd be the same if he was the SAHP, I'd think obviously he needs to be the one getting up the majority of the time.

I'd think the majority of jobs that are the main breadwinner for the family are at least somewhat demanding, either physically or mentally. I know that we have play dates and trips to the museum, but those can be cancelled, an extra cartoon could be watched, all I'm saying is generally a SAHP has much more flexibility to catch up on rest during the day, not necessarily a nap but rest nonetheless, than a parent that is at work all day.

I guess that's true when you don't have school age kids. When Julia and Emma were both in half day school and it was different halves (Emma was in 9-11:30, Julia 12-3) we were on the go constantly. This year they're both in full day (Julia 8-3, Emma 9-2:30) and then several activities that are team things (meaning you can't just skip it, they've made a commitment to the team). DH worries nights Drew gives me a hard time since I can't just cancel school and team sports for the day so I can rest, so I will be driving our kids all day long.

caybeh · August 2013

Mostly me. In the early weeks, we both would. I would nurse, and then hand him off to DH to put back to sleep. Once DH back to work, then it was up to me but if I was having a rough night, I could always wake up DH and he would help. That is still the way it goes now. I wake up because I'm extremely light sleeper, so I just hear him first. If its been an hour or so that I have been awake and DS won't go back to sleep, I wake up DH and I go back to bed. I nap pretty much everyday anyway so I don't mind getting up at night if DS wakes up.

spring_time · August 2013

Mostly me. I am nursing DD so I get up with her. DS is in a toddler bed, and when he wakes up in the middle of the night he comes to my side of the bed. If DS gets up early in the morning (between 5:30-7am), my DH will get up with him for the day. That is mostly because DH can't fall back asleep if woken up at that time.

Stefibeth · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:
I 100% agree that it depends on the situation, H's work, who's a light sleeper etc. but it does rub me the wrong way to say "they're his children too, why wouldn't he need to get up?" when he's working all day and we're at home. But it'd be the same if he was the SAHP, I'd think obviously he needs to be the one getting up the majority of the time.

I'd think the majority of jobs that are the main breadwinner for the family are at least somewhat demanding, either physically or mentally. I know that we have play dates and trips to the museum, but those can be cancelled, an extra cartoon could be watched, all I'm saying is generally a SAHP has much more flexibility to catch up on rest during the day, not necessarily a nap but rest nonetheless, than a parent that is at work all day.

Totally stand by what I said. They're his kids too, we both have demanding roles, which has nothing to do with being the breadwinner. MH fully admits that being home with two kids all day is more draining that what he does on a typical day. We're both capable of waking up overnight. And again, I'm sure it really depends on the situation, but I got more downtime at my old job than I do at home. Granted my days flow differently, but being at home is much more demanding on me.

FWIW, the arrangement we have with MH getting up is because I'm a super heavy sleeper and he's a very light sleeper like others have mentioned. 9 times out of 10, probably more than that even, I don't know that he's even been up with the kids. I just don't hear it. When I do get up with them he almost always has to wake up first, wake me up, and then he can't get back to sleep until everyone is settled again. That's why he just does it himself and says he doesn't mind it. He knows he can wake me if it's ever necessary for any reason.

It really rubs me the wrong way that someone would think that because one parent is the "breadwinner" they're entitled to more sleep because what they do is somehow more important. Again, I don't deny that in certain situations it might make more sense for the SAHP to get up overnight. And I think people should do whatever works for their family. I would never presume to say the way people do things is wrong, but saying that someone shouldn't have to get up with their own kids because they make the money is wrong. I'll never understand this kind of thinking from another SAHP.

But I'm not about to get into another pissing match about who has it harder and whether SAHPs really have a demanding role or not because obviously people have varying opinions and varying circumstances. I just can't see it the other way unless those parents have a very different reality than I, and a lot of other SAHPs I know, do.

jenniann87 · August 2013

When DS was an infant we both got up. I was nursing and we were co-sleeping so DH would get up and sit with us. Now that DS is almost 2 on the rare occasion that he gets up in the middle of the night I will usually get up with him. If DH is still up from when he gets home he will get him. It really just depends. DH has a physically taxing job and is on his feet all day, it is just easier for me to get up with DS and be able to relax and get a nap when DS takes a nap.

Angela814 · August 2013

Hav=Fath said:
If my H worked outside the home I'd feel like I should get up during the night since I can catch a break during naps etc.

What are naps?

I'm in charge of the baby at night. DH is in charge of the big kids. I usually have to wake him up to take care of DD2 (3 yo). Somehow he doesn't hear her yelling at his side of our bed. If DD1 wakes up, she comes into our room and goes back to sleep on our couch, after waking me up to tell me that she's there.

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