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July 2012 Moms
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A fine example of parenting

hokiemama06hokiemama06 member
in July 2012 Moms

We went to Picture People to take some 1 year old photos (finally), and on the way out, stopped at the little play area for preschoolers.  Lots of kids playing, and seemingly playing well together.  One little boy (maybe 2.5 or 3) comes over to his mom crying that another kid had kicked him.  As soon as the mom of the other boy heard, she yanked him out of the play area and gave him a timeout.  Done and done, right?

Wrong.  Mom of the little boy that got kicked got in her own son's face and was yelling, "What have I told you?  When someone hits you, you hit them back."  She's going on and on about how he needs to hit the other little boy, despite the fact that he did the right thing in finding and adult, and the other mom had already handled it with her kid.  Then, this mom is starts going on and on about how they need to leave because she's going to go "apeshit" on the other mom.  In front of preschoolers.  Loud enough for me to hear it on the other side of the play area.

Cue the exodus of parents and their children. 

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Re: A fine example of parenting

  • mandiek72512mandiek72512 member
    Well, when I was little this girl beat up on me.. every single day.. for months. Parent teacher meetings and everything.. nothing worked. Finally, my daddy told me to take control and do something about it. I punched her in the nose. She never once messed with me again! Obviously we werent in a mall setting but still.. I grew up with the understanding that nobody will stand up for you.. except you!
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  • mandiek72512mandiek72512 member
    Absolutely not! But who knows.. that little boy may constantly get kicked, hit or picked on. And at some point, he will HAVE to learn to stand up for himself!
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  • hokiemama06hokiemama06 member
    mandiek72512 said:
    Well, when I was little this girl beat up on me.. every single day.. for months. Parent teacher meetings and everything.. nothing worked. Finally, my daddy told me to take control and do something about it. I punched her in the nose. She never once messed with me again! Obviously we werent in a mall setting but still.. I grew up with the understanding that nobody will stand up for you.. except you!

    See, I feel like that's a different situation.  The adults in your situation were either ineffective or she needed natural consequences.  I understand from your anecdote that you were older than 3?  And, it seems that you did exactly what this little guy did first - let an adult know and handle it. 

    Most folks I know with a kid that small are trying to prevent them from hitting, not encouraging them to "punch him in the face."  For a kick.  On a playground.  From a complete stranger.

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  • mandiek72512mandiek72512 member
    Thats why I mentioned we werent in a mall setting. She handled the situation completely wrong. I agree with dbliesmer though.. sometimes tattling can make the situation worse. This coming from someone who had to move schools because of bullying...
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  • hokiemama06hokiemama06 member
    edited August 2013

    @mandiek72512 - I was bullied as a kid too (3rd grade all the way through high school) had no friends and begged to move schools, so I can relate to what you're saying.  But, even with my experience, I'm not sure that I would encourage my child to hit someone who was bullying them.  I get standing up for yourself - I don't mind that - but to me, hitting is a different ballgame.  If it's not okay for me to hit another adult, then why is it okay for my child to hit another?  Aren't we teaching our children behaviors that we hope they will carry with them into adulthood? IDK, one of my many parenting musings that I hope to have somewhat settled when I get to that stage.

    FTR, I have no intention of this becoming a debate, just sharing a spectacle I saw today.  :)>-

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  • mandiek72512mandiek72512 member
    I surely dont want to go right into the 'if someone is mean, throat punch them' with Rylan!! I also dont want a sissy boy either. There's such a fine line there!! I hope to have it all figured out by the time school starts! Ha!
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  • apollonia10apollonia10 member
    One of the best lessons DH learned while getting his black belt was that you never want to use your skills, but if you have to, use them correctly. He never needed to do it, but I think he probably exuded the confidence that kept bullies away. 
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  • Pandril19Pandril19 member

    I agree with the general jist of the thread so far.

    However I'll add that Elissa has now been bitten 6 times by kids in her daycare hard enough to leave perfect little teeth circles on her.   I'm not particularly upset or pissy about it, but I'd kinda like to teach her to bite back.  ;-)

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