Low week

Amykeir · August 2013

How do you women stay so positive? I admire you all so much! I'm having a low week - I just ache for a baby... I know you understand... I've tried to keep my mind on other things, and am going through all the stages of identifying reasons for IF, but I'm just so sick of the wait and sick of everyone else falling so easily. Anyone else feeling this way? Any tips to help me perservere and stay positive?

happygirl1013 · August 2013

I just keep thinking that if this is the worst thing that happens to DH and I, that I'll take it. We both are healthy and happy--- and if we die old and grey, without children, we will still have had the most amazing lives together. Good luck- everyone has their low days.

twistsandturnsto2 · August 2013

boyankl said:

I just keep thinking that if this is the worst thing that happens to DH and I, that I'll take it. We both are healthy and happy--- and if we die old and grey, without children, we will still have had the most amazing lives together. Good luck- everyone has their low days.

All of this. It did take a series of conversations and several months of accepting the facts, but I got there. I did go through a period of time were I had to avoid all things baby, but since actually accepting and being ok with the idea of it just being DH and I things have gotten easier and I am better for it. Do I still fight/hope/pray for each cycle, absolutely. I'm just trying my best to be grateful for what I already have.

FutureMrsW9 · August 2013

I think I'm actually a bit numb to the whole thing. I actually cried for the first time yesterday (after 15 mos of actively TTC), and I think it was because we're finally in our first IVF cycle so it was happy tears. I've known since college that I had issues, so all of my 20s I knew this was coming. I think for most women they're blindsided because they had no idea that they had any issues so it's more of a shock. For me, I knew it would be a battle, so to speak. But even so, I think we all have down days. I'm just so ready to be a mom, and I see everyone else around me getting to have that experience. I love that I have a career and a life and whatnot, but I've always just seen those things as coming in second. I feel like my purpose in life is to be a mom, whether it's one baby or a bunch...so I'm ready for it to happen already! Just remember that there are ALWAYS alternatives. IMO there's nothing in this world that's impossible. The ultimate decision might not be ideal or what you thought life was supposed to be, but there are always options. Good luck and feel better!!!

FutureMrsW9 · August 2013

twistsandturnsto2 said:

I did go through a period of time were I had to avoid all things baby

Also, I do feel this way, as well. I think it has to do with my feeling about being a mom, and seeing people with kids and babies is what gets to me more than anything else.

katib77 · August 2013

I came to a point about two years ago when I thought - I can either be depressed all the time about this or I can accept this is a point in my life and fight my infertility while also enjoying life as it is. I think it helped my gain perspective that I have several friends fighting cancer. And you know how you might see an inspiring story on TV and think "Wow. They're really positive on life in the face of adversity. I hope if I'm ever facing something like that I can be like that." Well, I saw my friends facing their cancer and being such strong fighters and thought it was a wake up call for me to be more like that - and I'm not even fighting life or death.

Since then I've tried to be an advocate for infertility. And an educator. And hope that I can inspire others in their fight to keep going. And - I have so many IF eFriends now that have had success that I just keep hope alive while accepting if we have to be child free at the end of our struggle that at least we will have tried very hard for years and I might have helped many along the way.

Edit to add: That doesn't mean we each , myself included, are not going to have bad days or bad weeks. Just don't let it control your entire life and happiness.

supermorena · August 2013

Sorry you're having a rough week. I definitely go through waves of emotions, with the worst point so far being right around the 1 year mark and before starting testing. I feel a lot better now that we're getting help and told a few people what we're going through. That being said, there are still days when I see a family with little kids and I just fall apart. When that happens, I think it's good to just let yourself be sad in that moment, find something to comfort yourself, regroup, and move forward. IF is really hard to deal with, so I cant be strong all the time. Overall though, life is pretty good and I have so much to be thankful for. I don't want to miss out on the great parts of life, so while I cant be strong all the time, I cant be sad all the time either.

Twinkie0612 · August 2013

I think time has made a difference in my mood. When we first started testing, I was in a very dark place. I was angry that we were dealing with IF and that we had no insurance coverage. I was angry that a few of the people I confided in blew off my struggles with IF as no big deal. It took a while for me to deal with the anger and sadness that came with IF. I spent a lot of time in the "it's not fair" mind set.

Slowly things got easier to deal with and I could see some of the silver linings to dealing with IF. My husband and I have been through a lot and our marriage is stronger for it (although not perfect). I know how much I will appreciate pregnancy/children, I feel sorry for the women that complain their entire pregnancy or constantly complain about their chilidren. I think that some of them are missing good parts in life by focusing on the negative. I have learned how strong I actually am. Going through testing and treatment is not for the faint of heart. While in my mind I knew that I could and would do whatever it takes to have a baby, now I know for certain that this is true because I have lived it. Also because of IF, I have met some pretty awesome and fun women on the bump.

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