17 weeks pregnant a scared to tell my mom.

BladeDancer · August 2013

I'm 17 weeks along and still haven't told my mom. I'm 36 years old and have a son who is almost 12. My mom was visiting about a month before I got pregnant and we where talking about my new boyfriend. We have been dating for 6 months at that time. My mom said that she hoped I was on bc so I wouldn't get pg. I told her I was and she was happy to hear that. Well a month later I got pg. Now I'm to scared to call and tell her.

CassieD44 · August 2013

You're 36. I would worry far less about how your mother feels and far more about how your BF feels.

alliehaze · August 2013

Agreed with @CassieD44 Does your BF know that you are pregnant? Congrats on the pg though!

jlovesky · August 2013

Just ease into with positive notes such as how great ur relationship with ur bf is and that this will be a blessing. It may not have been planned but all you can do now is relax and enjoy it! Good luck, dont stress!
Glad everyone here offers positivity and support.....

bugandbibs · August 2013

You're a mom. Taking care of your family is what is important. Tell your mom the truth and move on. She will either come around or she won't. You can't worry about that right now.

MrsRustyGriswold · August 2013

I'm thinking you don't have to tell her. Wait a few more months and the appearance of a baby will pretty much say it all.

MrsRustyGriswold · August 2013

My other post was snarky, but now I'm getting back to a serious question. If she's this toxic, why is she in your life?

Kristinmo · August 2013

Seriously, tell her. If she is as controlling as you say then get her out of your life.

Disneygeek77 · August 2013

Do you live with your mom ? Does she pay your bills ? If the answer is no, I just can't fathom why a grown woman would be so afraid of this ? Unless her tears are made of some substance that cause the earth to explode, what is the worst she can do ? Yell, scream, not talk to you anymore ?

Listen, you are setting a really bad example for your children right now. I too had an emotionally abusive grandparents and weak parents that were too afraid to speak up. So I grew up thinking it was ok for people to call me names and insult me, and there was nothing my parents could do to stop it because God forbid we might upset someone if we said something.

If your mom is like this with her own children, I promise she will do this to her grandchildren as well. End the cycle and cut her off forever. If you won't do it for your own sake, then at least do it for your children.

oneblessedmess · August 2013

You are a grown woman. What exactly are you afraid of your mom doing?

rjeller32 · August 2013

AMazeOfGrace said:

You are a grown woman. What exactly are you afraid of your mom doing?

Getting grounded at any age is a serious issue, of course. She might take away her tv or something even more drastic.

Mysterious_wife · August 2013

Grow the fuck up.

LnR70707 · August 2013

It is too early in the morning for this nonsense.

biomaj5 · August 2013

IMO, a reality check is positivity and support, whereas blowing sunshine up someone's ass isn't.

jlovesky · August 2013

Ok. Excuse me for offering some advice to be helpful rather than make someone who is already stressed out feel worse. Who wants to be surrounded by Debbie Downer during pregnancy? Not me! Peace.

LokiTTGP · August 2013

Give me her name. I'll tell her for you.

Edited to add: Do not really give me her name. You are an adult and old enough that you can tell her on your own. When I first read that title, I thought you were going to be 16 or 17.

burybuck0489 · August 2013

**Facepalm** You are how old and you are scared to tell her you are pregnant? You aren't a 16 year old anymore, your a grown woman and if your mother can't accept it, then that's her own fault, not yours, you should be more concerned with your growing family, then the opinion of your mother.

BladeDancer · August 2013

ok maybe I left out a few things. First off my mom scares the crap out of everyone in my family. My oldest brother is in his 50's and is terrified of her. So just calling and saying hey mom I'm pregnant is NOT easy. She treats everyone of us like crap. So if all you have to say are insults then go somewhere else.

BladeDancer · August 2013

It's kind of hard to avoid her when she visits. And if she's upset about my pregnancy she could try to turn the rest of my family against me.

BladeDancer · August 2013

Oh and yes my bf does know and is happy.

Mysterious_wife · August 2013

Easy. Cut her out of your life. You need to stop letting her control you. Grow a pair. Let her talk shit. They only person you have anything to prove to, is yourself.

rainbowmkr1979 · August 2013

Oh girl... I'm sorry to say that telling my mother anything scares the heck out of me too! My son is 14. I'm 33. I'm getting married in Oct. I KNOW that if/when I get pregnant she will NOT be happy. It's very stressful to me. She makes me cry often with her unkind words. I agree with some of the other PP that you just have to tell her. She'll either get over it or won't. And if you and your BF are happy then that's all that matters. I have to remind myself all the time that its MY life and not my mothers. If she wants to know this grand baby she'll get over it and if she doesn't its her loss. Wishing you the best!!!

oneblessedmess · August 2013

If she really treats you that badly then I can't imagine why you would want her in your life. If she gives you hell over being pregnant then cut her out. As for the rest of your family, you said your brother is scared of her also, he can back you up.

LnR70707 · August 2013

LOL @ "rejected answer". Didn't know that was an option.

bugandbibs · August 2013

rainbowmkr1979 said:

Oh girl... I'm sorry to say that telling my mother anything scares the heck out of me too! My son is 14. I'm 33. I'm getting married in Oct. I KNOW that if/when I get pregnant she will NOT be happy. It's very stressful to me. She makes me cry often with her unkind words. I agree with some of the other PP that you just have to tell her. She'll either get over it or won't. And if you and your BF are happy then that's all that matters. I have to remind myself all the time that its MY life and not my mothers. If she wants to know this grand baby she'll get over it and if she doesn't its her loss. Wishing you the best!!!

It's too bad you can't delete your mom the same way you keep deleting things around here.

foreverapartofme · August 2013

It is important to tell your mother either way. If she reacts poorly to your situation, tell her you will not have negative energy around you and your family so when she has a change of attitude she is welcome to return. Best wishes.

burybuck0489 · August 2013

So lets add this up here, you are 36, you have a child already, you have a boyfriend and you are pregnant with his baby, but you are afraid to tell your mom because she "scares the crap out of everyone in the family" No. Just no. What do you expect her to do? hit you? reign terror down upon you? Come on, Just tell her. And after that its in her court to do whatever she wants.

rockyrollgirl · August 2013

I also thought you were going to be 16 or 17 when clicking on this.

TeeJ526 · August 2013

BladeDancer said:

ok maybe I left out a few things. First off my mom scares the crap out of everyone in my family. My oldest brother is in his 50's and is terrified of her. So just calling and saying hey mom I'm pregnant is NOT easy. She treats everyone of us like crap. So if all you have to say are insults then go somewhere else.

It sounds like you're quite capable of telling people to fuck off when you're good and ready. If your Mom can't or won't be happy for you and supportive, maybe you should tell her the same.

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