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3rd Trimester
velvetflip
member
I find this post very disturbing....
velvetflip
member
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/7598336.aspx
Before you flame me, understand that I come from an upbringing that involved getting spanked, and I misbehaved often and probably deserved it, but I don't think it should be discussed in such a cavalier manner. ?I will treat my son the way I treat my husband. ?I do not spank or otherwise physically discipline my husband and I will not do this with my child. ?I think there is a lot to be said about spending more time verbally communicating with children rather than resorting to physical discipline. ?What was acceptable when I was brought up in the 70's is certainly not acceptable now, and parenting has evolved a lot since then.
What are your thoughts??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I find this post very disturbing....
Wait, are you c&p'ing the post? Or is this your commentary? The link isn't clicky for me...
The link is to a post....the commentary is mine!?
Well, I was brought up being spanked with paddles, hands, etc. With my daughter, I will say up until 4 or so, she got the random swat on the behind if she was misbehaving in a way that was dangerous, but - I think a swat is still different from a traditional "spanking". (With her, knowing I disapproved "spanked her feelings" and she would quit.)
My stepchildren are a different story. DH has spanked them all their lives, and that seems to be the only thing that gets them to take things seriously. SO - while I don't really care for it, and I do not spank them, it's what works for them (some of the time).
I don't know - I think it differs from one child to another what works, and some situations call for different things.
I also think light "swatting" is a little different than getting hit with objects...you know? ?
?
Wait Wait Wait.. you don't beat your husband??? How do you get him to do stuff then? Asking nicely? pphhmmmpfff!
He only gets spanked when he's been really bad....haha!?
i remember being spanked a COUPLE of times when i was little and those were for doing extremely dangerous things.
i will not hit my child.
but if he does something he knows is dangerous to his LIFE, i.e. running out on the dock of our summer house with no life jacket on, he will get spanked for sure! just a swat on the behind. that's all you need.
it worked for me, i never did those things again.
but i do believe that spanking is WAY overused sometimes, as is hitting a child. that is a big no no in my book. especially when i see parents hitting out of anger. that is violence.
I'm so sending you my stepchildren. You would think communication and predictable, clear consequences make a difference, but not always.
Or reeeaaaally good, right??? hehe
Let me be more clear: kids with severe, dangerous behaviors.?
?
Everyone's different. I'm just putting my thoughts out there. I understand that people do what they feel they need to do, and that's fine. ?
I plan to spank when needed. Spanking/swatting...call it whatever, you are still "hitting", but I guess it sounds better to put a nicer name to the action so it doesn't sound so bad. There is definitely a difference between beating and spanking/swatting.
I remember my great grandmother spanking us with her fluffy white slippers. We always laughed at her after the fact, you know behind closed doors, but we got the message.
Mine only gets spanked if he's been really goooood. heh
That's right!!!!?
Honestly, my mom beat the sht out of me when I was younger. She'd hit me with hair brushes, wooden spoons and paddles. She has a very hard time controlling her anger and used spanking to strike (no pun intended) fear into me. Whenever I did something wrong, I felt absolutely paralyzed with fear that she would spank me.
Because I dont have a good example of what "ethical spanking" (quotes because some disagree that any spanking is ethical) is I dont think it is smart for me to ever hit or swat at my child. I have no qualms with the way other people punish their children (each family is different), but I cant say I would personally ever spank mine.
I got the belt several times and a tennis racket once. Well, my mom threw it at me when I skipped school when I was 15.
I'm not going to lie, I got the hell beat out of me on occasion until I was about 16. I'd never say abused, but sure enough, the hell beat out of me.
FI and I agreed that we will not physically punish our child. Its had a lasting impact on me and I wouldn't want that to happen to our children.
Edited: I'm not saying that it is wrong, I certainly don't judge. It's just a personal decision I've made because of what I went through growing up.
Yeah, I put my mom through hell, but I agree with pp, open communication would've worked better than "go pick out your belt"
Edited again: I was always hit out of anger, never as punishment. I would get the hell beat out of beat and then grounded. Or then sent to bed. Or then sent to my room.
I think that's a big key there. When DH chooses to spank his kids, it's always after a warning, another punishment (such as timeout or extra chore) or whatever doesn't work - and then only when he's calm - I don't think he's ever hit them when he was "angry".
You are joking, right???? Aside from the issue of whether or not to spank a child, your reasoning is so flawed I am shaking. Because she is wearing a diaper it is ok to spank her? How would you feel if someone raised a hand at you and swiped you???? OK because you can't feel it? I suspect you would be truly alarmed by the mere action, in and of itself! So, either you approve of spanking or you don't. Don't justify your actions.
I do too. I deal with teenagers though, but they're much worse than any child. They are also usually kids with severe, dangerous behaviors. Listening to them and communicating in respectful ways is the best way to get through to them. They just want to be respected the same as you and me.
Ditto here - I got spanked. I think the difference in what I call spanking/swatting - what have you - is my mother did talk to me and explained why I was getting disciplined. So I knew what I did was wrong. I think it only took 3 times to my knowledge - to know that wasnt the route I wanted to take with my mom. Therefore, I dont remember having to get spanked after I was like 5 or 6 years old. As a matter of fact I was never spanked at a pre-teen / teenager because I use to tell my friend - Nope I cant do that because I am not getting in trouble...
So is spanking / swatting wrong - I dont think so. I think when it is done properly and out of love then you are fine. But hey that is just me.
People are so quick to say "I will never do anything do that blah blah blah...." All I have to say is just wait... two, three years from now... It seems to me sometimes the people without kids think that they are the all mighty ones, just wait....
And yes I spank my son every once and a while, when he is trying to stick his fingers in the outlets or kicking at my belly after being warned repeatably and getting put in time out...........