Health/weight concerns - kinda sorta NBFR

CFjo2010 · August 2013

When DD got off the plane on Thursday night, I could tell she gained a lot of weight while visiting DC. I mean, a lot of weight. She's never been rail-thin and has the normal baby fat. But when I first saw her on Thursday night, it was very clear that this is not baby fat.

She had her physical on Friday morning and sure enough, she gained 15 lbs while visiting DC. That's 15 lbs in 17 days. We had a long discussion during her appointment about good nutrition, exercise and the importance of limiting extra sugar. DD seems to carry the majority of her weight in her midsection, which is an indicator of diabetes. The Dr is really concerned and ordered full labwork (including thyroid tests). Everything came back in standard range except her cholesterol. At the age of 10, she's 15 points above the standard range for LDL (the bad cholesterol). My heart is breaking for her. How in the world did this happen? We eat relatively healthy; no fast food, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, lean proteins. So what in the world happened in 17 days?! The Dr asked DD what she had been doing while visiting DC and she said she ate corndogs for lunch every day (3 or 4 at a sitting) and they had fastfood for dinner. Unfortunately, I remember how DC is about cooking (I was married to him for 4 years) and I know there's a lot of truth to what DD is telling me.

I know that attempting to talk to DC is pointless. He'll deny any wrongdoing and say that it's just baby fat. So now I'm planning meals that have few carbs, very little sugar, and lots of protein. I'm going to implement nightly "family walks" and I'm hoping to find a kids' Crossfit class for DD. Due to financial stuff we didn't put DD back in cheer this season (plus she would have missed too many hours while being with DC to certify) and she no longer wants to do tumbling. I would greatly appreciate any and all advice/input/suggestions to help guide me here. I'm trying desperately to focus on only the health aspect (which is the most important issue here), but of course DD is a wreck about being overweight and "looking fat". I just hate this. No 10 year old should have to be worried about high cholesterol

ldmessing · August 2013

has she gotten her period yet? girls do tend to pack weight in the mid section right before puberty

CFjo2010 · August 2013

ldmessing said: has she gotten her period yet? girls do tend to pack weight in the mid section right before puberty
I asked the Dr the same thing, "could this be the onset of puberty?" At the risk of TMI, the Dr looked and based on what she saw (or didn't see) puberty is a couple years away. The early indicators aren't there yet

Not that I want DD to start her period already, I just wish that had been a contributing factor to the excessive weight gain, KWIM?

karatechrissy · August 2013

holy cow that's a lot of weight in 17 days! How did douchecanoe not see it!?

Swimming, Taekwondo (I have to put that in there, but really if you go to the right school with a good instructor she will be killing 2 birds with one stone. Losing the weight AND learning self defense skills that I personally think everyone should know), or dance is what I would suggest. Dance only because she already did cheer and stuff, if seh still likes it. Swimming will really tone her out and lose that weight. And Taekwondo will be great for her self confidence, weight, and self defense if she ever needed it. I would look into those before crossfit for kids... I'm just not a big fan of crossfit personally. That's a different post for a different day. lol

CFjo2010 · August 2013

The only problem with swimming is she now refuses to put on her swimsuit. Seriously. Yesterday she was invited to go swimming with her friend (who she hadn't seen in 4 weeks) and she refused to go in the water. Again, she's always had a bit of baby fat and it's never bothered her before. DD has always worn a two-piece and has made it clear that she's ok with her body. But that has drastically changed.

The reason I wanted to look into Crossfit for her is because she loves coming and watching me at class. She has already expressed an interest in doing a kids class, and the kids classes aren't really focused on weightlifting. The kids classes are big on cardio, and using your own bodyweight to strength train (pullups, pushups, situps, etc) and mobility. I had DD in karate a few years ago and unfortunately she didn't like it. Plus, all the karate/taekwondo classes near us are like $150 a month! Her tumbling was only $65 a month and I would love to try and find something in that price range again. I'll look again, maybe some places are having "back to school" deals?

CFjo2010 · August 2013

karatechrissy said:

holy cow that's a lot of weight in 17 days! How did douchecanoe not see it!?

I have no idea how he didn't see it!! My husband was like, "holy crap what happened?". The clothes she wore on the plane going out there were the same clothes she wore coming home, and you could definitely tell they fit differently. I think douchecanoe just chooses not to see this stuff, which is part of the problem.

Sigir · August 2013

I don't have any advice but can relate. My dc always comes back frm extended trip w exh notably heavier. She is already a little pudgy and when she got back frm a recent vacation w him I did a double take when I saw her. He lets her eat as much as she wants and never says no. I have tried talking to him about it but it's pointless. It's so frustrating to have all your hard work in keeping them healthy undone in a week.

She jut got back from a week w him today and I haven't seen her yet. I am sure it'll be the same thing as usual. They always vacation all inclusive and unless you rein in my dd she will go insane at a buffet. Imagine that 3 meals a day, plus snacks, for seven days.

I am putting her in dance and swimming in the fall. I just feel sad for her bc I know it bothers her.

karatechrissy · August 2013

there should be a ton of back to school deals. I know we are personally doing a 50% off on entire memberships for new enrollments at our school.

Plus, most places will do '1 month free' or something like that.

karatechrissy · August 2013

And plus also, karate uniforms are big marshmallow suites. She could 'hide' in it, even if she only did a trial or something for a few weeks. kwim?

Littlejen22 · August 2013

jobalchak said:

ldmessing said:

has she gotten her period yet? girls do tend to pack weight in the mid section right before puberty

I asked the Dr the same thing, "could this be the onset of puberty?" At the risk of TMI, the Dr looked and based on what she saw (or didn't see) puberty is a couple years away. The early indicators aren't there yet

Not that I want DD to start her period already, I just wish that had been a contributing factor to the excessive weight gain, KWIM?
What was the doctor looking for to determine if puberty was coming? I have never heard of anything besides bloodwork to determine the stage of puberty and I would insist on that test just in case. As for the rest I would start bike riding or scooters regularly. Good luck. Also next year I would take her to the doctor before her visit and it it happens again talk to the lawyer. When was the last time she was weighed that you knew her weight from before?

Littlejen22 · August 2013

Ditto martial arts whih is an awesome workout but expensive usually.

Wahoo · August 2013

Aside from the physical, I would try to sort out if there was emotional side to DD's eating. Is there a possibility she was stuffing her feelings? If she ate to cure unhappiness, loneliness, boredom. Being able to deal with those feelings without eating is a life skill. You can direct her to do something like take a walk to deal with negative feelings, but also alternatives. For example, you may be willing to ride bikes or take a walk with DD, but if your ex would not allow her to go out maybe she can journal or draw instead.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

@Littlejen22 the Dr looked to see if DD had developed pubic hair yet (is this awkward yet?!) and since she hasn't, the chances of her starting her period soon is very slim. I didn't think to ask though if the bloodwork covered a hormone screening, I'll have to check into that. As for knowing what she weighed before she left, DS has been monitoring his weight for football (we're trying to gain weight #skinnypeopleproblems) and DD decided to weigh herself also.

@Wahoo, DC lives in the middle of nowhere. I don't think DD really has the choice to go out for a walk or anything in order to work through any issues. I'll definitely give her counselor a call and get her in soon to explore possible emotional factors that may be contributing to the weight gain.

xmaryrickx · August 2013

I think it's weird the pedi is all nope not puberty. Sometimes the physical changes that indicate puberty are the last things to be seen. Even a small change in hormones can make a huge impact on weight. I am not saying that is the only cause here but very possible that it is a contributing factor. If her weight doesn't start to change with diet/exercise I would think that would be more likely a cause, but no one can say for 100% sure it isn't contributing without hormonal monitoring.

Poor girl. I hope with some time back home things will turn around for her.

ldmessing · August 2013

I am side eyeing the dr quite a bit here. puberty is different for every girl and weight gain IS a sign of puberty.

MommyEllenSue · August 2013

I agree on not ruling out puberty also. I put on a whole bunch of weight (literally went from a womens size 1 to a womens size 16) the summer I turned 10, I also grew about 5 inches. I swam everyday in the summers growing up, we rode bikes all the time, played competitive softball, etc so I was active. A couple of months after school started I started my period. My mom also had me checked out for thyroid and everything else under the sun, all totally normal. I have not grown since I am still the same height as I was in 5th grade and still wear the same size clothes. Do exactly what your planning but don't be upset if her weight doesn't change it could just be her body and she needs to learn to be ok with it.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

Even if the weight gain turns out to be due to puberty, it doesn't change the fact that DD's cholesterol is 15 points ABOVE the standard range. I'm more concerned with that aspect. Her weight gain is alarming, but having high cholesterol at the age of 10 is frightening to me.

I have always told the girls that size doesn't dictate their self worth. We have had the "skinny doesn't equal healthy, fat doesn't equal unhealthy" talk several times. DD has never been self conscious until now. 15 lbs in 2 weeks is a lot of weight to put on, and being outside the normal cholesterol range makes this more of a health issue than a weight issue. I have looked everywhere and haven't found any relation between puberty and cholesterol. So even if DD were to start her period tomorrow, her cholesterol will still be high.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

@andrea99 I totally get that it's only 15 points. And if it were MY labwork I wouldn't be too concerned because its only 15 points. But for a 10 year old? That shouldn't even be an issue, KWIM?

I agree that the inactivity at DC's played a big part in this, and unfortunately if I try and talk to him about it all I'm going to get is static. It bothers me knowing that DD and I will get on track and then this will happen again when she goes to visit at Christmas.

I was talking to my mom last night about this and she told me that when DD is with them for a week during the Summer she indulges in the Eggo waffles and stuff, but doesn't seem to go overboard. I'm now more inclined to believe that DD was eating her feelings, which I know I'm guilty of at times. I'm going to call this morning to schedule an appt with her counselor.

Thanks everyone for your input and advice!!

nattyncbride · August 2013

I don't have any experience, but I do find in general if pounds are packed on quickly from a situational experience, rather than an entire change in lifestyle, then they are faster to come off. So if you gain weight slowly by changing your lifestyle (eat worse foods, more sedentary, change in body), it will take a while to lose it. If you gain it quickly b/c of a large life change, but go back to 'normal' (your house: healthy food options, nightly walks, parents modeling healthy behavior), it might melt off more quickly. I know it must be jarring, but I like the nightly walks, and kids CrossFit if she's watching you and inspired. It's just bad timing with the start of school.

In a month or so, she'll be back! At her next long visit with dad, as you learned last year to do put some plans in place (phone with GPS), you'll put plans in place to help her make healthy decisions. You're doing a great job - just glad the kids are back with you, safely.

Edited to be more coherent.

bebe11 · August 2013

I used to take my DD to a place called Pacific Coast Magic for tumbling and cheer, the classes were $65 month for each class. They have several locations in so cal. Another fun thing that is a great workout and fun, are the trampoline parks. My DD has been going on Monday evenings with her friend, it is $15 to jump from 2pm to 9pm. Do you guys have bikes, going on a bike ride would be fun and not really feel like a workout (and it's free). My DD is starting softball this month, it was pretty cheap to get her signed up.

I am sure once she starts eating normally (healthy at your house), she will drop the extra weight she gained in no time.

xmaryrickx · August 2013

Cholesterol isn't ageist. I understands your concern, but is the first time she has had her cholesterol checked? It's possible she naturally runs a little high. If after a few months of healthier eating and increased exercise it hasn't changed consult a pedi cardiologist or pulmiologist and see what they say. But try not to freak out. This might be her "normal" and might not be anything to worry about. Not everyone's normal is the same.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

@xmaryrickx I checked her lab history and she had a fully lipid panel done 2 years ago. Her cholesterol levels then were in the normal range.

Pedi called me today and wants us to see the nutritionist and has given us an exercise plan. I'm hoping now that school has started and she's having recess and PE, DD will get back into a healthier version of herself.

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Health/weight concerns - kinda sorta NBFR

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