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DD is deciding to wean herself

ct103ct103 member
in Parenting after a Loss
I addition to our nighttime problems, DD has been extremely fussy at the breast for about four days now. She cries, kicks, punches, and detaches and re-latches about 50 times. I wrote it off as teething, but DH said it was not happening with her bottles. I didn't want to think she was starting to prefer the bottle, especially since only 2 weeks ago she was refusing the bottle! But things got really bad yesterday when I tried to nurse all day. The result was a fussy, hungry baby. Even her diaper output was lower than usual, so I got scared and gave her a bottle. She gobbled down 5oz while smiling at me! I was relieved and incredibly sad at the same time. We gave her bottles the rest of the night, then this morning I tried nursing again with her just in her diaper for skin to skin, and there was no real improvement. So it's been bottles so far today, and she's eaten well.

My new goal is to pump as much as humanly possible and fill those bottles with as much BM as I can. Just a week ago we started introducing one formula bottle a day, so at least we have backup. But, I'm also trying to be realistic about EPing, because it is so damn hard, my goal is to give her BM until she is six months (she is four months now). I truly hope we reach that goal.

I know how lucky we are to have made it to 4 months EBF. I also know that the happiness of DD and I come first, so why make each other miserable over it? When I think of it this way, I'm really okay. But then I just watched a video I took of her when she was just 3 weeks old, and remembering our BFing relationship back then made me start bawling. Being the bread-winning, full-time working momma that I am is so tough. But all I can do is my best, and I think deep down DD knows that. Besides, she's the one who is deciding she prefers bottles.
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Re: DD is deciding to wean herself

  • ct103ct103 member
    esd said:

    Don't give up hope yet. It may just be a nursing strike which is common. LOs rarely self wean before 1 year.

    Maybe the flow on the bottle is too fast and she's getting frustrated at the breast? And I know all babies are different but 5 oz at 4 months is a lot for a BF baby. DS didn't take 5 oz until he was closer to 7 months.

    Perhaps weaning herself is not the right term. Preferring the bottle is a better description. We're using the slowest flow nipple possible.
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  • JellyTwoPointOJellyTwoPointO member
    When in doubt, read kellymom!

    https://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/
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    TTC since Aug 2011. BFP #1 on 10/28/2011 EDD of 07/02/2012 Natural MC on 11/22/2012  BFP #2 on 10/28/2012  EDD of 7/13/13  Judah Ari born on 7/11/13.

    I love my rainbow baby!


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  • ct103ct103 member
    Thanks ladies. After spending nearly the entire day in tears, I've decided I'm not giving up. Just trying to nurse right now and it's going pretty well, definitely better than before. I sure hope it's just a nursing strike, because I am clearly still very attached to nursing
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  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    ((hugs)). I know how hard it is. After Anna's shunt surgery (5mo actual, 2mo adj) she went on a nursing strike for a few days and it was so hard emotionally. I was terrified that she wouldn't get back to the boob. It took a couple of weeks but she finally did and I used some of the tricks from the kellymom link above. I really had to relax myself first. 

    I am also the breadwinner and I am so attached to nursing because I don't get to spend my days with her and I really, really wanted her to need me for something she couldn't get from anyone else. 


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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  • Mmm79Mmm79 member
    We went through something similar at around 3 1/2 months . For several days A was so incredibly fussy at the breast but would take a bottle from DH no problem. It was awful. At one point, we thought it might be reflux (it wasn't, but we did try meds once which he promptly projectile vomited all over DH).

    Eventually, A just kind if calmed down and returned to nursing. It took maybe a week? My pedi and the LCs, after ruling everything else out, ended up chalking it up to "just a phase". To get through it I offered the beast first at every feeding, but had a pumped bottle ready to go just in case. When he got upset, I switched so as not to force the breast and really turn him against it. I found that during this time he nursed best when he was kind of sleepy.

    I remember how incredibly stressed out I was during that week. At the time it felt like forever.

    Hang in there, mama!

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    BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
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