Why can't people RSVP!

Throw3ks · August 2013

My baby shower is August 25th and the RSVP date is clearly on the invite for August 15th. There were a total of 80 sent out and my friends throwing the shower have yet to hear from about half of the people. Is it so hard to pick up the phone? I understand there is still a couple days but these women plan on making food, planning games with gifts, setting up enough seating etc etc and have to make sure they accommodate for all guests. So what would you do? Call/email the ones you haven't heard from or just assume they aren't attending?

bkeane619 · August 2013

This is very common...people are rude. I think for my baby shower we just assumed they weren't coming. My wedding on the other hand I emailed.

Throw3ks · August 2013

I had the same issue for our wedding too. It's so annoying! :-w

AlwaysForgetful · August 2013

People know that most of the time, extra food (for a few people) is made just in case... Never thinking that others are thinking the same thing as they are. They are the same who may go if they have nothing better to do. So they figure it is more polite to not RSVP yes, because if they didn't go, you would have a ton of food left.

*sighs* Sorry, I have a lot of people with RSVP issues. Annoys me.

Wino0920 · August 2013

Call the people who have not responded, but after the due date.

tashad18 · August 2013

My group of family/friends is the same way. RSVP to them means call if you have a question otherwise just show up. It makes planning problematic. For my bridal shower I had a low RSVP count and was worried we had too much food, etc. but we ended up having a packed room full of people.

hartsl01 · August 2013

With the 15th being on Thursday... I would have them call people on Tuesday and ask. I have found that people are more inclined to send an email instead of calling too.

Edit to add: Also... if you invited a bunch of people who have kids, they may be thinking about back to school time, and RSVPing may have completely slipped their minds.

MangoMama82 · August 2013

I got my friend's baby shower invite 2 days after the RSVP date. I don't know if it got tangled in the mail somewhere or what. I called her and apologized, she was cool with it. Somehow I doubt that 40 invites have gone astray in the mail, though...

sha1318 · August 2013

I sent email and text reminders to RSVP. It worked

Throw3ks · August 2013

It may be my fault but I asked the girls mail them out the first week of July. It may have been to early and people forgot. But I wanted them sent early with the intention people would be busy if they waited to long with back to school, labor day and what not. However, it seems like so many people have "forgot". I

pmarie33 · August 2013

You had them send invitations in the first week of July for an end of August shower? You can't possibly expect the guests to remember that. Proper etiquette is about 3 weeks from receiving invitations to actual shower date. You more than doubled that.

Throw3ks · August 2013

Agreed it was early. Hence me acknowledging that. Maybe I'm the only one but I put the invite on my fridge or near a calendar to remember. Or the fact that they had ample time maybe they could have rsvpd by now.

allurea · August 2013

Same issue here. My shower is the 17th (this Saturday) and mom is still waiting to hear from about 15 people. We are just assuming they aren't coming since the RSVP date has passed.

pmarie33 · August 2013

I honestly don't think 40 RSVP's is too much to ask for given about an 7-8 week notice at the beginning of summer for an event right before school starts.

Throw3ks · August 2013

I guess if they don't RSVP by Friday ill send out friendly reminders. And if not then they don't get any delicious food or cupcakes! So there. Lol

Jalee85 · August 2013

My shower is the 29th we've had a whopping 1 RSVP... Lol unfortunately we didn't have a RSVP date because we ran out of room!

Icarriedawatermelon · August 2013

For my shower, we did regrets only on the initiation. On the RSVP date my mom had barely heard from anyone with regrets, so I just sent a friendly text to those people who I thought weren't coming (I thought several people had vacation plans or preexisting events) and said something like "I hope everyone is having a good summer. I can't wait to see everyone next Saturday." I had hoped this would spark their memories to RSVP with their regrets. To my complete surprise, everyone was just like "see you then" or "can't wait" and they ALL showed up at the shower. I was truly surprised to see everyone there.

platypusbaby · August 2013

We called/texted. A week before my shower my mom and my MIL were the only ones who had RSVP'd!! So annoying!

muffyvonmuff · August 2013

No one ever RSVPs it seems you just have to call, email and text to find out.

amber0529 · August 2013

I only had about 12 people invited and only 1 person rsvped to say they weren't coming. When my friend told me she hadn't heard from anyone else I sent out emails/texts to remind people to RSVP to her and only heard from 2 other people! Those were the only 2 people that showed up besides the 2 that threw the shower. A little disappointing but it is what it is.

calibr8te · August 2013

Aren't a lot of these 'rude' ppl your friends and family? Just have the host call everyone. I had some angst last week due tp the rsvp list and yet every single family member and friend showed up to my shower on the wknd. It felt amazing.

Throw3ks · August 2013

I don't want to make my hosts call around to everyone, they are doing enough as it is. I think I'll start doing it Friday. It would be a pain to send then everyone's number/email address. I just don't get the difficulty in responding either way.

finnybooboo · August 2013

My MIL didn't even RSVP to my shower...

frizzydizzy · August 2013

tashad18 said:

My group of family/friends is the same way. RSVP to them means call if you have a question otherwise just show up. It makes planning problematic. For my bridal shower I had a low RSVP count and was worried we had too much food, etc. but we ended up having a packed room full of people.

my family/ friends are the same way. I've noticed if someone needs a head count they will specify on the invite. I normally guess a little over half of the people invited will show up.

Flutterby00 · August 2013

There was a snafu with my invites, some people got them right away, some peoples came 2-3 weeks later! My friend, the hostess, called those people who hadn't RSVP'd just to make sure they did get the invite (some never had). I'd recommend having your hostess do that just for peace of mind.

kimbo1216 · August 2013

Post like these make me wonder of the person complaining about not getting RSVPs is diligent about it herself. Hmm. Just a thought.

Tbh, this is why when I host something I don't bother with RSVPs. I just make a bunch of food and hope for the best. There is no sense in stressing about it. Yes. The idea of an RSVP is great. And I personally try to make a point to do it myself. But in reality, most people just don't do it.

Frankly, if you really want to know, start contacting your guests yourself. A simple text for fb message reminding them won't hurt. I'm sure the etiquette nazis will say that's terrible and rude, but if you really need a firm head count, this is the best way to do it imo.

Throw3ks · August 2013

I am very good about rsvps because I find it so annoying when people don't do it. I will spread the word via fb and text and email on Friday. My hosts are getting really anxious with needing a head count. They want to buy gifts for games, make enough food and set the place up correct. Plus I have to make sure I made enough favors. I made 60 jars of strawberry jelly as favors. I am sure it's enough but if not I got to start on more ASAP!

CherryHolly · August 2013

finnybooboo said:

My MIL didn't even RSVP to my shower...

Neither has mine, but she isn't coming anyway. She told my husband yesterday, but I am sure she won't actually take the time to send my sister an email or a call to tell her. I am not surprised that she isn't coming. And honestly with her not going, I am sure my SIL isn't going to come either. Oh well...

EmJ&B · August 2013

CherryHolly said:

finnybooboo said:

My MIL didn't even RSVP to my shower...

Neither has mine, but she isn't coming anyway. She told my husband yesterday, but I am sure she won't actually take the time to send my sister an email or a call to tell her. I am not surprised that she isn't coming. And honestly with her not going, I am sure my SIL isn't going to come either. Oh well...

Mine hasn't either and my friend who is hosting is totally side-eyeing my in-laws. I told her that was fine - I side eye them all the time too. ;-)

usas · August 2013

I plan on harrassing ppl via text! annoying since I always rsvp within a couple days of receiving an invite.

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