One & Done: Only child
kristinyoung111
member
Leaning towards OAD, questions
kristinyoung111
member
Hubby and I have been strongly leaning towards OAD. We just had our
first child together on 5/23/2013. My husband is 41, and he has an 18
year old son already, but he never gets to see him and hasn't been
allowed to be involved in his life, so really, this is like the first
child for both of us. I use to want to have two kids, largely because I
felt like I was missing something growing up without siblings around (I
have two half brothers, but they are so much older than me I was
basically raised like an only child). I have changed my mind, though,
and am pretty certain we should be OAD. He is a SAHD and I still need to
finish my degree and really establish my career, so I feel like it is
going to be a long time before we can even possibly afford more than one
child. I don't want our daughter to go without. My husband is adopted,
so we were considering adoption down the line if we get to a place
financially that would allow for a second child and we really wanted
one. My hubby was actually the one to first suggest a vasectomy.
When I told my friends that I wanted to be OAD, I was really surprised how many of them were saying I would regret it or that I should wait at least a year before hubby gets snipped. I do not do well on hormonal birth control and don't want a tubal, so we both think snipping is the way to go for us. With those of you who have a tubal or a SO that got snipped, do you ever regret it? What's the hardest thing about being OAD, if there is anything hard about it? Is it a good idea to wait a year?
When I told my friends that I wanted to be OAD, I was really surprised how many of them were saying I would regret it or that I should wait at least a year before hubby gets snipped. I do not do well on hormonal birth control and don't want a tubal, so we both think snipping is the way to go for us. With those of you who have a tubal or a SO that got snipped, do you ever regret it? What's the hardest thing about being OAD, if there is anything hard about it? Is it a good idea to wait a year?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Leaning towards OAD, questions
I can relate to some of your situation. DH is a SAHD (on purpose) and I'm just in a mid-level govt job, so there is a major financial factor. And DH is an only child who always wished for siblings, so he obviously had some qualms there. But we still decided in the end that this was the best course for our family.
I also don't like hormonal birth control, and iuds wig me out, lol. I had a diaphragm, but dh always felt it and it irritated him. We do sometimes use condoms, but our birth control method of choice is withdrawal. There are A LOT of misconceptions about withdrawal. Some truths (that can be verified with studies): the only time there will be semen in pre-ejaculate fluid is if the man finished, did not urinate, and then had sex again. This method is also as effective as condoms. Of course, you have to trust your partner. There should not be any "pulling and praying", he shouldn't wait till the last second to pull out. DH have been using this method for 6 years and got pregnant when he, ya know, didn't pull out.
You could also chart. That's a really good way to know when you are fertile (which is for like 10 days in the middle of your cycle). After you ovulate, which you will know by your temps, you are not fertile again until a few days after your next period begins.
ETA: changed "middle of period" to "middle of cycle"
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10