Night weaning

skibunny59 · August 2013

Hi Ladies,

Just wanted to hear some of your experiences if you night weaned your LO.

Backstory:

DD is almost 17 months. She has been in bed with us since she was born. At 6 months, we transitioned her to a crib in her own room but we still cosleep after she wakes up. Usually around midnight. She has never really slept more than a couple of hours at a time. Most nights she will sleep attached to me the entire night. Some nights she will nurse, unlatch and then roll over and go to sleep. I love having her in our bed but I am exhausted with the all night buffet.

Anyway, we started the Jay Gordon night weaning on Tuesday night. It has not been easy and I feel even more exhausted now than when I was just letting her nurse all night. Last night was night 4, the first night where I don't offer the boob at all, and it was pure hell. She was still in her crib when she woke up and I sent DH to get her. She cried super hard for 10 minutes and then stopped. Then 30 minutes later DH came in with her and handed her off to me. He told me she actually did fall asleep but wouldn't let him put her in the crib. I was so angry at him. She usually comes into our bed at this point in the night anyway so I don't know why he was trying to get her in the crib. Anyway, at that point she was up and thought that Daddy was handing her off to me so that I could nurse her. She was really pissed off when she realized she wasn't going to nurse. She cried on and off for awhile. An hour later I finally decided to put her in the car and go for a drive to put her to sleep.

I don't know if I can keep doing this but I know that if it works it will ultimately mean more sleep for me, DH, and DD. If you used this plan, how did it work for you? Did you tweak it or did you follow it precisely? I'm finding it really hard to follow the plan for the 7 hours. We chose the hours of 10-5. Last night she woke up at 4:40 and I was so tired that I just nursed her back to sleep. This morning I said to DH maybe we can change our hours to 9-4.

versed · August 2013

Someone on here shared the Leaky Boob's time through the Jay Gordon process, and that was a great read before I started. https://theleakyboob.com/2011/07/changingoursleep/

We're actually a night behind you, and I'm really nervous about night 4. DS is almost 14m, and while night 1 was awful, he's already getting better.

Good luck!

TiffanyBerry · August 2013

IIRC, I weaned down to one nursing a night (but that wasn't until she was... oh, much older than yours. Nearly three.) But we did it a little differently, and never did the "nurse for just a minute or two" phase. We weaned off one session at a time (she had been nursing every 3ish hours over night). It would be a few months at a time where she nursed only twice in the night. And then eventually once. We left it at once for a very long time. I should warn you, it didn't stop her from waking other times during the night. She would still sometimes ask to nurse. Heck, now, when we are totally night weaned, she STILL wakes up and asks to nurse, or just wakes up. But I also talked to her about each change for a long time. For my daughter, three days would never have been long enough to adjust to a change. Perhaps three weeks!

Good luck!

skibunny59 · August 2013

NextVerseUnknown said:

Someone on here shared the Leaky Boob's time through the Jay Gordon process, and that was a great read before I started. https://theleakyboob.com/2011/07/changingoursleep/
We're actually a night behind you, and I'm really nervous about night 4. DS is almost 14m, and while night 1 was awful, he's already getting better.
Good luck!

Hmm. I just read the link that you posted. Night 5 was last night for us. She woke up at 11:00 (about 2 hours after she went to bed) and DH put her back super quick. Then she woke up at 1:55. I sent DH and she cried 7 minutes but after she fell asleep he had a hard time putting her down. First he tried the crib. That didn't work so then he tried just laying down with her in our bed. Huge mistake. She sensed my presence in the bed and immediately wanted to nurse. I took her out of the room and it took 40 minutes to get her back to sleep. Again I brought her back to our bed asleep and she woke up as soon as I started getting into bed with her. DH picked her up this time. This whole thing lasted 2 hours. And after that she was up again within an hour and then I did nurse her that time because it was after 4.
I just feel like it's not getting any better. When I read the leaky boob I thought to myself "wow, what an easy time they had with it." This is not at all my experience. DH really wants to push through but I keep wondering if we're doing the right thing.

nosoup4u · August 2013

I basically did Jay Gordan with DS1, and tried it with DS2. Night weaning DS1 was pretty easy - he was mad I wouldn't nurse him anymore, but he would cry for a bit and then accept cuddles or hugs from me. I think it took about a week or two, and it was definitely hardest the first few nights.

DS2 took for-ev-er to night wean - I started when he was about to turn two, and it was a very long process - he's a loud kid, and listening to him scream at me in the middle of the night was just too much most of the time. He was also not interested in any sort of comfort besides the boob (SIGH). For him, it worked better to let him nurse for a few seconds, and then pop him off. He eventually STTN around 2.5 or so?

Night weaning is just one of those things (like everything) - it can work well or fail miserably, depending on the kid.

Do you guys have a guest room that one of you can sleep in? It sounds like moving her late at night might be disrupting her sleep. Maybe DH could try sleeping with her for the second half of the night, and then doesn't have to worry about getting her in the crib or her seeing you. I used a floor bed with DS2 for a long time, as it was easier for me to sneak off if he fell asleep on it, rather than moving him into a new space.

skibunny59 · August 2013

nosoup4u said:

I basically did Jay Gordan with DS1, and tried it with DS2. Night weaning DS1 was pretty easy - he was mad I wouldn't nurse him anymore, but he would cry for a bit and then accept cuddles or hugs from me. I think it took about a week or two, and it was definitely hardest the first few nights.

DS2 took for-ev-er to night wean - I started when he was about to turn two, and it was a very long process - he's a loud kid, and listening to him scream at me in the middle of the night was just too much most of the time. He was also not interested in any sort of comfort besides the boob (SIGH). For him, it worked better to let him nurse for a few seconds, and then pop him off. He eventually STTN around 2.5 or so?

Night weaning is just one of those things (like everything) - it can work well or fail miserably, depending on the kid.

Do you guys have a guest room that one of you can sleep in? It sounds like moving her late at night might be disrupting her sleep. Maybe DH could try sleeping with her for the second half of the night, and then doesn't have to worry about getting her in the crib or her seeing you. I used a floor bed with DS2 for a long time, as it was easier for me to sneak off if he fell asleep on it, rather than moving him into a new space.

We don't have a guest room but DH and I actually talked about me sleeping on the couch for part of the night so that he and DD can sleep in the bed when he goes to get her. (I don't want him bedsharing with her on the couch.)

We are having a super hard time putting her down once she's fallen asleep in our arms. Honestly, the crying has gotten a lot better. Last night it was only 7 minutes of crying (a couple of nights ago it was like 40 minutes of very hard crying off and on so 7 minutes is a HUGE improvement ) but then we struggled for 2 hours putting her down. She kept waking up or then she would see me in the bed and get upset and then we had to start all over again rocking her and singing to her to calm her down.

We will see how tonight goes. Thanks for your help!

bullybutt · August 2013

I'm so glad you posted this because I am having the exact same issue except DS is 12 months. He is a huge comfort nurser and is teething so he is attached to the boob ALL night long. My nips are killing me and I'm starting to get really frustrated. I've always said that I would never let him CIO so I'm trying to get advice for the night weening as well. I try to "hide" from him while laying in bed but he will shimmy all over the place trying to find my boob and will squeel and throw a fit until he does. I thought about seeing how he would do without me in the bed, but by the sound of it, he will still throw a fit with or without me. Sorry, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one dealing this issue. I thought I was! I can't imagine doing this for another 2 year..FML!

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