Telling the father about the pregnancy...

me+baby=2 · April 2013

Hi.

I just found out I'm pregnant, and the father was a one night stand, we didn't share any contact information or anything. He was from out of town and I don't know how I could find him... am I still obligated to tell him about the pregnancy?

Runaway22 · April 2013

If I were you, and I was sure he's the father, I'd try. Do you two share any mutual friends or acquaintances?

babymama619 · April 2013

Runaway22:
If I were you, and I was sure he's the father, I'd try. Do you two share any mutual friends or acquaintances?

I agree.

me+baby=2 · April 2013

Runaway22:
If I were you, and I was sure he's the father, I'd try. Do you two share any mutual friends or acquaintances?

if i didn't know how far along i was i would say that there's a slight chance of the baby being my ex's but the ultrasound showed I was 5 weeks and i haven't been with my ex for months. About mutual friends or acquaintances, he was from out of town and I don't really know if he does have friends here or anything...

arizonatea · April 2013

I wouldn't say anything unless you want child support or something.

honeysuckle2012 · May 2013

Like PP said, do you want child support? It's really up to how you feel about it. If it were me in that situation and I wasn't concerned about the child support, I'd probably still try to contact him to let him know. A friend of mine was in a similar situation although she did have a way to contact him on Facebook. She had already decided that she was going to do everything herself to raise the baby on her own without child support, but she got in touch with the father at the beginning of her 2nd tri and told him something along the lines of "I just thought you had the right to know that I'm pregnant, but it's up to you whether you want to be a part of the baby's life."

If you look for him, maybe you can ask the people that work at the place you met about him or if you remember something about him, try to find him on Facebook.

babytristanj · May 2013

I agree with all the other posters...try to find him IF...

1. Your positive he's the father (sounds like you are)

2. Don't wait until after the baby is born

3. You are willing to share this baby 50/50 with the father who is 50% of your child.

4. Good luck with whatever you decide to do...this is deeply personal, but in everything keep yours and his baby in mind first. Be gentle with the dad...this will probably shock him.

ShaCourtney · May 2013

I think u should tell him...

Gamera3000 · July 2013

I'd try to find out what kind of person he is first. If it turns out he's a bad person you might not want him in your life or the baby's.

pregokat · August 2013

"the right thing to do" in my opinion...

decide what you want from him, do you want him involved? do you not want him involved?

then find him and let him know whats going on and how you want to proceed

I think he has a right to know. He has a right to get a DNA test if he wants.. and a right to be involved in the childs life.

EarthandFire · August 2013

I'm a firm believer in a man's right to know if he's a father however the child's well being always comes first. As you are newly pregnant there's no attachment to a new boyfriend or other male in your life as dad. I believe you should first decide what you want from him if anything before you contact him if you can. I think he has a right to know he could be the father. I'm not sure what kind of response you'll get if you contact with him that he is the father. That might create a fight or flight reaction. By offering he might be gives him a chance to settle into the idea. Explain to him why you think he is and ask him what he wants. Be prepared to tell him what you want or expect. He may be married, have a girl friend, have gotten into a new relationship. You never know what his situation is unless you discussed it. At some point your child will probably ask who he is. If the right decision for you child is to not contact him, then don't. In my opinion this isn't about you, it's about the child. What is best for you LO and the baby's future.

babysantana14 · August 2013

I'm in the same position as you right now.....it's a hard one...be prepared for any response from the father. In my case, I had info about the father....a little more than you, but not much more. I agree that he should know and he should make the choice. I didn't need or want support from him. I just wanted him to know and get information from him for the future of my child. He gave me little info but wanted little to know or be a part of the child's life. It is hard! No one will know or understand unless they are in the same position and no one will be able to give you the right answer...

inthelost · August 2013

I think he should have the right to know since you're positive he's the father but be prepared for any response. I think the previous ladies gave great advice.

vintagebride2010 · August 2013

I agree with him having the right to know even if he does not want to be involved. The other aspect of this is your child may want to know who their father is one day. I am not in your situation but my opinion is to find him and tell him so even if he isn't involved he isn't blind sided years later by a child wanting to find their father.

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